Let’s go to the movies

Tis the season! Yes, the movies season! Well, nay season is movie season in my book. If you know me at all you know that I am a movie junkie born and bred by my movie junkie dad. I think I’ve talked about this before but it all started with 16 millimeter films played on a rented movie projector using our wall as a screen.

Our family memories have been intermingled with classic movies to the point we don’t know how to have a conversation without involving several movie quotes in the process. Just the other night, we were about to eat and my mom said, “Dad’s going to give the blessing on the food”. Immediately at least 5 of us yelled out “THE BLESSING!!”(Ten points if you can tell me the movie that’s from.)  And, of course, we all bust up laughing as though it was the first time that joke was played (it happens almost every time we eat together and someone is asked to ‘give the blessing’).

I will quite often relate what someone is going through to a scene from a movie (or book), forgetting about the line between fiction and reality. I’ve even been known to  reference R-rated films in my Sunday school class. “Staying away from sin and temptation is like Zombieland-you’re constantly running from the evil of zombies and you have to stay vigilant or the zombies, or sin, may eat you alive.”

It totally works.

Yes, I like movies. A lot.

This is why I have been troubled by the path our movies seem to be taking lately. It’s rare you find an original screenplays and fabulous plot lines. I would even go so far as to say that all the good writers have abandon the movie-ship for the ever growing talented TV-ship. You have shows like-The Office, 30Rock, Modern Family, The Closer, Dexter (I’ve never watched it but just the premise is brilliant!), United States of Tara (brilliant but vulgar, so I’ve only watched a few of them), Bones, House, Phineas and Ferb and, of course, Kate plus 8 and Sarah Palin’s Alaska.

Those last 2 were to see if you were paying attention. hehehe And yes, Phineas and Ferb does qualify.

And what does the movie industry keep giving us? Smurfs and Yogi Bear, dammit! Throw in a bunch of comic book movies and 4 more movies of aliens coming to annihilate the earth of all mankind and that is what you have to choose from. Some of the best movies happen to be based on novels but it’s still someone else’s writing. Where has originality gone? What has happened to movies like JAWS, Sixth Sense, Signs(yes, an alien movie but it wasn’t about the aliens at all), Juno? I know, there are some good ones out there but so many disappointing ones, too! Maybe I’m just missing all the good stuff cuz we don’t generally watch R-rated movies.

So, if you have seen a worthwhile film at the theater let me know. I’m needing a good day at the movies.

I’ll even buy the popcorn.

That song that is out to get me.

HI! Remember me? I just had to get through the last week and couldn’t think of anything else but survival.

I barely survived.

I have to admit that I have had my fill of Christmas music.

I love most Christmas music but my kids discovered a kid’s Christmas music station on Pandora which has been great but it has been on nonstop. I can only hear the Chipmunks sing their Christmas song only so many times in one month.

My Christmas music need has been satisfied and I will not need a refill for at least 11 months.

There is one (really there’s several) song that is similar to scratching nails on the chalkboard. I love the story of the song but the actual song brings back bad memories. A memory of when I first realized I do everything half-assed and that I am super lazy.

I was 10. Maybe 11.

I had been taking piano lesson for a little while, this was after I quit clogging because I never got the fluffy skirt I was under the impression would come with the weekly classes. Anyway, my brother was getting baptized and someone thought it would be a good idea if I played a Christmas song for it, since he was being baptized in December. The song chosen? “Drummer Boy”. Which is probably one of the longest songs on this earth, especially if you had an unskilled pianist lacking in determination to practice. At all.

The time for my performance came, the song began. And it didn’t end for an eternity. Have you ever been to a recital or some other performance when someone just really doesn’t know the music they are playing and you feel so bad and awkward for them? That is how everyone at that baptism felt for me. I’m pretty sure that song went on for 20 minutes of missed notes and bad timing. I’m sure everyone really felt the Spirit during it. I just wanted it to end so I can crawl into a hole and die an ignominious death.

All these years after I still cannot listen to that song. Josh Groban finally saved it for me and his is the only version I can enjoy. Thanks, Joshy. Any other version I have to immediately change the station before I have the desire to gouge out my eyes with a brooch. Or knitting needles. Whatever happens to be around.

Needless to say I’m glad we can all go back to listening to heavy metal and suicidal indy-rock. There is no chance a “Drummer Boy” showing up on that playlist!

Friday Confessional

Anyone else ready for a break right now? I could use a long comfy, carefree vacation. Kid free, of course. Even though I posted today I figured a good confessional was in order.

So I confess:

• I woke up at 8:20 this morning.
• I have to take the kids to school at 8:30.
• This was after my alarm went off for 30 minutes and then gave up on me.
• My kids aren’t self-starters so, shocker, they weren’t ready.
• But they did get breakfast.
• A good healthy breakfast.
• Donuts.
• Breakfast of champions.
• You know I’m really, really tired when I actually have the thought, “The kids don’t need to go to school, right” just so I can stay in bed.
• I got them there on time, thank goodness.
• I am almost looking forward to the Christmas break just for the slow mornings and lack of homework.
• Speaking of school, whenever Cheeseboy posts a video of one of his school programs I want to put my house up for sell, move to his school zone and make my kids take first grade from him EVERY. YEAR.
• One of the coolest teachers around, I’m pretty sure!
• Speaking of cool teachers, my 3rd grader’s teacher actually came to my daughter’s piano recital last night!
• Totally happily surprised! That was so nice!
• Like I said before, I really want a vacation.
• But I’d probably just sleep and eat.  And then sleep again.
• I bet my husband would looooove that kind of vacation for our anniversary..

2010 Review Extravaganza Part Dos

You know? 2010 really hasn’t been my most favorite year. I hesitated to even do this part of it because April, May, and June were the reasons for that. So this will be a short one.

April was the month I got in a minor car accident that caused so much pain and frustration, I’m still dealing with the repercussions of it. The legal side of it is done and over with but not all the pain. And some of it is coming back since I haven’t been able to keep up on my therapy or chiropractic appointments. Blah. But I did have my first Give Away *snicker*. And I did make an exciting purchase-my cap and gown for graduation! My daughter also put on her first great piano recital.

May was the month my chickens were lucky enough to move into a mansion.  I discovered my kids have computer building skills.

I dreamed of a miraculous slip cover that fixes everything. And I successfully graduated from the community college!

June was a very slow blogging month for me but a very busy month with kids home from school and what not. We had a fun camping trip with friends and another fun with in Goblin Valley with family.

My kids also started making some money to contribute to the family finances. Which was a good thing-they are getting expensive!

Status Quote

So, did you notice my daughter’s extreme high hopes in Santa’s magic and budget?? Man, she’s gonna be sorely disappointed when she wakes up Christmas morning and finds that all Santa brought was a horse whittled out of wood.

Another random moment with that girl was last night we were helping decorate Grandma and Grandpa’s tree and while they were discussing the lights she piped up and said, “Our tree is and LDS (she meant LED) tree.” That’s right. That tree read the Book of Mormon and has now become one of us. We had a good chuckle over that one. We only use the most religious of trees in our house.

Now on to Status Quote with Emmy Mom and CA Girl! It’s a once a month Meme where you can list silliness you see on Facebook or even if you have a great story about it.

I, of course, have a back story to what I am posting. As you may or may not know, I married a very quiet man. Not that he talks quietly or anything, he’s a construction worker so he actually tends to yell sometimes. And he snores. But he’s cute. Anyway, he’s a shy guy. He has a Facebook account but often wonders why he bothers with it. He gets on mine more than his own and he hardly says or does anything on it. So, I’ve been trying to help him out a little. It’s all things he already thinks, I’m sure, I’m just voicing it for him. I know, I’m  a good wife

“I am so glad I got to shovel the walks for my sweet, docile and dainty wife.”

“Even though my wife wears the same ratty sweatpants almost everyday, sleeps at any given moment and seems to be gaining a pound an hour, I still think she's the most beautiful woman in the world.”

“I always feel so bad leaving my wonderful wife to go to work but I'm glad I have a job so she can be my kept trophy wife.”

“My wife is so beautiful and wonderful and dainty that God saw fit to multiply her by 4.”

Yes, that last one does mean we are having our 4th girl! I guess ElRey just didn’t do enough fasting and praying for boy parts. He’s still holding out for a rocket ship to suddenly appear between those tiny legs by the time we have our official ultrasound but he’ll be alright! My 6 year old was so upset by the prospect that she said she’s “gonna punch that baby in the face when it comes out!” What I think she meant to say was she was gonna kiss her and love her but just in case I’m going to file a restraining order on her till I know for sure….

A Letter to a Jolly Man

My 9 year old decided to type up a letter to jolly Old St. Nick. It was just too classic to not share!

“Dear Santa,

I have been very good this year. I used to have 8 chickens but my dad killed two(can you pleas put him on the naughty list this year? just being funny.) HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I am 9 years old.

This year I want…a new scooter called a siege scooter and a ds with a ds chip and a sellphone.

From Audrey”

I really feel bad for my husband, apparently he’s been moved to the naughty list with Swiper, Scrooge and Miley Cyrus.

Sorry, man.

Adventures in babysitting

Oh. My. Holy. Moses. I think I just visited the 3rd level of Purgatory.

Okay, drama much? Yes.

I know I already posted today but I just had 4 extra boys at my house. Yes, I said 4 extra boys. And they range from 6 down to one. The evening was going fine and then suddenly the last hour came. The Witching Hour. Dun,dun, duuuuuuun. And, no, the Muddy Buddies (on FB we were trying to come up with a festive name for those and we have: reindeer poop, elf stools, Tiny Tim Turds, reindeer food, Chanukah trail mix, and Kwanza cakes….everyone one of those has potential!) did not help!

We had the smallest of the lot falling off a chair after climbing on the table several times without falling, my eldest crying because of her sore hand that I was trying to bandage up while my middle child is coming to tell me my youngest has done something very bad in her room which turned out to be drawing ALL over her walls with black crayon! The bedroom I stupidly cleaned up earlier was now a mess and I have a 3 year old in time out while the 8 year old is still crying over her hand and the smallest one is back on the table and my 3 year old has ripped all the stockings down!!

BBAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH

Kate, Mr. and Mrs. Duggar? You can keep your large brood. I’m not going past 4!

Good thing there’s Tiny Tim Turds leftover for me to stuff my stress down with!

**Thanks to Cheeseboy and Lori for the great muddy buddy names!

2010 Review Extravaganza Part Uno

Have you ever gotten so bored of yourself you almost can’t stand it? I am so tired of being tired, of thinking the same thoughts over and over, of my poor parenting  skills and lack of self-sufficiency. My lackluster spirituality, self instituted ‘confinement’ and silly daily routines are getting tiresome but this isn’t what this blog is about. I’m just saying that’s why I haven’t been around much lately.  I’m just boring. ACK!

That and the fact I’m reading Jane Eyre for the first time ever and loving every moment of it! I confess I was avoiding this book because I knew it was sad and it’s a Bronte book. Having read Wuthering Heights (I know, different Bronte), I vowed I would never read another book from these women. How exhausting was that book?! Plus, I’m a die hard (Jane)Austenian. And Charlotte Bronte is an evil vampire….well, that’s one theory…

So, even though I kinda want to kick Mr. Rochester in the gonads every now and then(ok and I may have a secret crush on his ugly mug…don’t worry, Mr. Darcy, you’ll always be number one in my fantasy love life), I am thoroughly loving Jane and her goodness and tenacity.

Anyway, I digress. I was getting on here to recap with my friend, Emmy Mom in her 2010 Review Extravaganza (to be said in a loud, echoy voice)!!!

So this week is January, February and March. Click on the button above for instructions if you want to join in. So without further ado, here is my 3 month review (nice rhyming, huh?!):

JANUARY

I started Spring semester at the community college and walked into the class of my dreams. Yes, a movie watching film and culture class. I’m still not sure what culture had to do about it but I sure loved watching those movies!

I had to get glasses (I always wear contacts) because of faulty eyelids or something. Took a while to get used to but I am totally pulling off the hot librarian look.

As you can see, I was pulling it off so well that my daughter had to get some that matched

February

I thought about whether or not we should add to the chaos by having another baby. Luckily, it was a mere thought.

The best thing that month, and the only thing worth talking about was my warrior-like reflexes in defending my family. If you do not go back and read any of these posts, I recommend not missing out on that one! It was intense and has stayed with me ever since. Powerful. I can never watch Stuart Little, Ratatouille, or any mouse/rat movie where they try to manipulate me into thinking those things should continue living.

March

I took a friend downtown to a comedy club to show off my teacher’s pet syndrome and showcase my mild crush on watch my film professor do his act but forgot how to go out in public. By “public” I mean anywhere but Walmart, my kids’ school or Maverick.

I realized I was going to be  able to graduate from the community college but found out my  pursuit for higher education was going to experience a family-needed hiatus.

My middle child turned 6 and her birthday party scarred me for life.

Well, that my first 3 months of 2010 in a blogshell(Get it??? Blogshell?? Like Nutshell??? bahahahahah). Isn’t my life super exciting??

Well, I’m going back to Thornfield to find out what that man is hiding. If he hurts my Jane, he’s gonna have to answer to me!

Friday Confessional

I don’t know about anyone else but I have been trying to recover from all that gratituding last weekend and it’s been a long, hard week! Things have been looking better so I thought I’d celebrate with confessin with Glamazon.

Without further ado, I confess:

• I will not be up for any Mom of the Year awards.
• After a brief period of thinking the pregnancy yuckies were over they came back this week.
• Once again, I’ve been 4 days late and $10 short on everything.
• My daughter was “Star of the Week” this week so we had to make a poster about her.
• She kept asking to work on it and I told her we would do it after church on Sunday.
• I came into the kitchen and she had already started.
• This is how it turned out:

• I was so frustrated that she wouldn’t let me help!
• This kind of stuff is a reflection on the mom, right??
• There should have been some dye cuts and cutesy stickers and absolute perfection.
• I guess no one can accuse me of doing her work for her..
• There used to be a piece of candy stuck on it above “I LOVE candy”
• She ate it the first day.
• She also had the privilege of doing ‘show and tell’ everyday and she was to bring MEANINGFUL things to show.
• The first day she took a stuffed lamb she got at Artic Circle.
• The second day, a toy from Wendy’s.
• Now she’s just showing off how much we eat out. Awesome.
• I finally convinced her to at least take the ultrasound picture of the baby to get away from the ridiculous toys.
• But for the most part I just didn’t care what she took because I just wanted her to go to school so I could go back to bed!
• I’m so glad it’s finally over!
• Then the other night my other daughter was making herself some hot chocolate and when she went to pore the near boiling water into her cup, it spilled all over her hand instead.
• Let’s just say it was a traumatic and long night.
• This is how it looked the day after:

• The picture just doesn’t do it justice but it was the entire back of her hand.
• It’s blistering now.
• Poor thing.
• We are also working hard on becoming more white trash.
• Our entertainment center was really helping

• but then ElRey fixed that

• So we had to work even harder to achieve white trash status.
• Luckily, some dillhole tried to break into our second car, broke it in his attempt and now we are left with a dead car in our driveway.
• That helped us come closer to the WT goal.
• We needed something more, though…
• Sooooooo since we are broke and can’t afford to buy real drapes to keep the cold out we did the next best thing.
• That’s right. We hung a blanket over our window.

• Yeah, we’re getting there…

What’s in a name?

I’ve had many nicknames in my day.

Mindolee

Hindolee

Mimi

Mintifresh

Polish Princess (this one was from my dad and it wasn’t till later that I realized this may have been a veiled insult…)

I tried to get ‘Crusher’ to stick once but it never did

Idiot- can’t seem to get away from that one…

A few others I shouldn’t repeat..

The one that I just can’t seem to wrap my brain around and it sometimes sends me into cold sweats is, ‘Mom’.

It’s not that I don’t love it or that I’d rather be doing something else with my life. It’s just that it makes me realize that the buck stops here. I’m the adult. If things are screwed up it’s my fault. It’s little things like finding out the lunch account at school is $5 in the hole, taking them to the dentist to find several cavities, forgetting to send back library books or thinking my 8 and 6 year old are responsible enough to hang out in the morning while mom catches a few more minutes of sleep only to discover that they went through 8, yes 8, granola bars within a 45 minute period!! I really hoped they’d have a nice case of the runs after that one. But, no, my wishes never come true! Not even a belly ache! Sheesh! Where’s natural consequences when you need them?

One of my favorites was when I was volunteering in my daughter’s class and my job was to help the kids stay on task and answer any questions. It wasn’t until the hour was up that I realized I was giving the kids the wrong answer…okay 2 wrong answers on their worksheet!! I had to explain to the teacher that ALL the children will have that answer wrong because of me! She just smiled and giggled but I knew at that moment I was not smarter than a 5th grader. Or a 3rd grader.

The teacher at church yesterday had said she believed all parents were given the gift to know how to teach their children knowledge and wisdom and I blurted out, ‘When do we get that?’ I feel like the biggest dummy on earth trying to raise these children to be responsible and happy adults (this is where you think start thinking, great…she adding another one?? Don’t worry, it’s the last one). I think I have happy, kind and respectful kids but sometimes in dealing with them on a daily basis I worry that I am messing up big time! It seems the only way I can ever get their attention is by yelling and acting like a lunatic! I know all the Super Nanny tricks and what not but whenever I try to get them to listen or whatever it always ends up with one of us crying and the other one realizing I really am nuts.

I think the biggest time I feel the fear the most is when we travel. All of our travelling this year was with other families so there were other adults there to back you up and other children to keep mine occupied but when it’s just ElRey and I and the kids. Boy howdy! I think it’s the vulnerability that frightens me. When I was a kid we travelled all the time but I always felt safe and like nothing could go wrong because my parents were on it. But when you’re the parent, you’re counting heads, every dollar spent, watching out for any creeps eying your kids, praying you don’t get  a flat tire, that the flight isn’t delayed, or crashes, hoping you don’t have to have a strip search in front of your kids or if you do, hoping you wore your nice underwear (and it’s not on backwards).

This is coming from a born nomad, a wanderer. A person who went to Mexico in a short bus with a bunch of near strangers with $100, a backpack, sleeping bag, and a hope that there will be a beach to sleep on. Now I worry about every little thing! Even my mood. What trip would be fun if mom’s crabby the whole time?

I tired to prove I was still brave a few years back. I decided I needed to go visit my BFF out in California where she had just moved. I was about 6 months pregnant with a 5 year old and 3 year old. I was going to drive until I found really cheap tickets to fly the 3 of us out for a few days. I have never been so stressed in my life! I was terrified of the airport and all it’s new security, afraid my kids would make the 1 1/2 hour flight a living hell and that I would lose someone along the way. When I was with my friend and her family, it was all good (except for my 3 year old waking up at 6 or earlier every morning and wandering into the master bedroom…awkward..)  We played around town, had fun with her and her kids, and we did the one thing that is mandatory for me on any coastal trip-we hit the beach! That was where I almost lost my 3 year old to the waves if it wasn’t for Amber’s fast acting son! We then had a surprise trip to Disneyland before we were to fly home and that was a whole other ball of wax! I had my VERY helpful BFF but I was tired, hot and sore and I was trying to make it the best experience possible so I was sneaking on rides, hoping the attendants wouldn’t notice my life giving belly, trying to see as much as possible all in one day. I was so swollen by the end of the day that all I could feel was a dull ache from the knee down and the fear that I will have to tackle the airport and plane ride home in just a few short hours.

We made it home safely, and exhausted and I even kept a smile on my face for most of the trip in spite of any worries or discomfort. My kid’s still talk about that trip and ask at least weekly when we are going to Amber’s house again. I’m pretty sure they are thinking Disneyland will be involved again, although, Amber is pretty awesome!

Thinking about taking another family trip makes me wish I travelled more when it was easier.

Back when I was ‘Crusher’.

Friday confessional

First, I want to say thanks for all the concern, well wishes and love I got from that last post. I am feeling much better since my last doc appointment and I’m sorry if I made anyone cry

After a good cry there’s one thing I always love to do. That’s right. Confess with the Glammers.

I confess-

• I’m a little concerned about my mental capacity.
• A few days ago, I went a few hours with my underwears on backwards.
• The only reason I found out was I had to pee.
• When I told my husband he said, “Well, did you fix them??”
• That would have been too much work.
• My husband gets upset when I tell people this.
• He finds it embarrassing.
• He just doesn’t understand the art and science of pure comedy.
• I think I may have come down with a case of Tourette's.
• Sometimes I think I may have been a trucker or drunk sailor in my past life.
• I figure it’s okay to use swear words as long as you leave a letter off the word.
• Dam.
• Hel.
• Shi.
• Bastar.
• See? not really swearing.
• Saying them in a different language helps, too.
• If people don’t know what you’re saying then it’s okay.
• I think I may be a drunk even though I have never had an alcoholic drink.
• Last night at book club someone mentioned tequila and Tabasco sauce and I immediately started salivating.
• I’ve never even tasted Tabasco sauce.
• Just kidding.
• But apparently it sounded really good last night.
• Sometimes I want to try a cocktail.
• But not for the actual drink, I just want the olives in the drink.
• I’m such a drunk.
• I think I might have narcolepsy.
• I try to read my scriptures in the morning and I will get through a verse (if I’m lucky) and next thing I know it’s 2 hours later, I’m facedown in a puddle of my own drool and my 3 year old has successfully destroyed an entire loaf of bread.
• In my bed.
• Oh, and she’s completely nude.
• I can stay up till 1AM reading a trashy novel, though.
• I fell asleep the other night around 6:30 or so and didn’t wake up till my kids’ bedtime.
• I figured I’d be up all night.
• Nope.
• I fell asleep just fine.
• And the next morning, after I took the kids to school I came home and slept for another 2 hours.
• Woke up, got ready and wanted another nap.
• In fact, I want a nap right now.

Life stood still

I haven’t been very peppy lately. Anything I’ve thought of to write about just turns into a whine. I’d rather just be quiet than subject you all to my whining. That’s why I have a husband. Poor guy.

It seems as though my life just stopped when I got myself in a family way. It started when my friend and I decided to do a hike in prep for our half marathon/trail run.  This was 2 weeks before I could even find out if I was pregnant. I was getting ready to go and grabbed a drink of water then immediately bent down to put my daughter’s shoes on and almost lost my breakfast right at her feet. It took me a little while to recover from that and almost didn’t want to go but we went with our 3 year olds strapped to our backs. It was pretty hardcore and beautiful but it took me all day to recover from it. That’s was the beginning of my 24/7 nausea that I could not kick. So I knew what was up before I could even take a test. A few days later I went out on a 10 mile run and was feeling okay on the first half but the second half was brutal. I’ve never wanted to call my husband to come get me during a run so bad but I wobbled to the finish. I could not stay awake the rest of the day and felt awful.

Needless to say, I missed out on the race.

For 3 months I’ve been near paralyzed with fear, panic, nausea, and extreme fatigue. My first pregnancy ended early with a miscarriage and each pregnancy after I just fear the worse till I know different. For some reason this time has been even worse! I hardly leave my house cuz I’m sick and/or wanna just lay. Plus, I was worried I’d tell people I was pregnant and every time I would, I’d think don’t get too excited, yet. I was trying to have faith in what I felt and just give in to the joy of the addition to our family but I just couldn’t! Ever time I would I’d think of the several friends and family member who have had a miscarriage in the past 6 months and wonder if I was next.

I finally went to my first appointment to find out all was well! But I was still really sick and tired so I festered in my home, hardly coherent for my family, feeling guilty for how useless I felt I was. Then a mom’s worst fear happened. I went out for some humiliation shopping and came home empty handed and not feeling so well. That’s when the bleeding started.

With my last pregnancy I had bleeding for the first few months and I went in numerous times thinking I was in the middle of a miscarriage. one time it was on the way to our niece’s funeral and we had to take a detour to the doctor to find out, luckily, all was well. It was just some trapped blood. Totally gross and stressful. But the baby was fine and all was well.

So when it happened this time I first thought it was just doing the same thing again but called the doctor and they were able to fit me in before they left early that day. The moment I walked into the office, it suddenly got much worse and I was unprepared. The front desk lady told me I could sit down and I told her I couldn’t because of what was happening and immediately started bawling. Yeah, I went straight into the ugly cry. I was so embarrassed. I know I had good reason to be upset but who wants to show their raw emotions in public, plus, I had told myself from the beginning that if I did lose the baby, I was not going to be emotional about it because I knew it would all be okay.

So the nurse came out and gathered me up in her arms and led me to the ultrasound room as I sobbed and sobbed saying I cannot do this again! She probably thought I meant miscarry but I meant get pregnant again. If this one didn’t stick I could not go through the past few months all over again. I just couldn’t do it.

The ultrasound tech got me all prepped and turned on the ultrasound. The picture came up of a calm, quiet baby with a solid beating heart. I honestly didn’t think it was possible. I thought I’d be walking out of there with bawling eyes and an appointment for a D&C. Instead I walked out with shocked and happy eyes, and another picture of my healthy baby!

I couldn’t have been more grateful or feel so lite! It felt like a miracle to me, even knowing that, according to my doctor, this kind of thing happens often. I just couldn’t believe it would happen to me twice! As soon as I got home I went to the website I found that rents these:

Yes, in my panic, I rented a fetal heart monitor. I knew the bleeding wouldn’t stop anytime soon, if it was like my last one, and I didn’t want to run to my doctor’s office every time I panicked over it. It has helped so much because it has been going on for 2 weeks now with no sign of stopping. It’s so great to be able to listen to my baby’s heartbeat anytime I feel worried or just want  a happy sound. It helped get through the panicky feelings of the past couple weeks!

I had my appointment again today and the doc told me I may still have a couple more weeks at least of these issues so I am very glad I have my little pet! The panic has been eased and I’m not constantly sick, only sometimes and sometimes I even have enough energy to make dinner or take the kids out or maybe even vacuum! of course, now the doc has said to ‘take is easy’ for the next couple weeks. I really should have asked for more details on that one but maybe I won’t feel quite as guilty about my house being a mess for a little while..

Although I am looking like I am 5 months along instead of 3, I only gained 4 lbs. Which is shocking considering my appetite is coming back with a vengeance! I mean, watch out, I may bite your arm…or at least that pretzel in your hand..

Don’t worry folks, I promise I will not constantly be talking about being pregnant and I promise there will be no pictures of my expanding belly. I am not a cute pregnant lady and I don’t want to frighten you. You may think I’m a beached whale and try to throw me back out to sea.

Where did the time go?

When did this little ball of cuteness and hair....

Suddenly turn into this cute, funny, friendly, giggly and smart young lady??

Happy Birthday to the sweetest redhead I've ever known!

I love you, my eldest!

Friday Confessional

I just gots-ta take some time to confess with Glamazon! I got a lot of junk in my trunk brain lately and I gotta do something lite, you know, like confess my darkest secrets…

I confess:

• Lately if my sinks are empty of dirty dishes, heck, if I have clean dishes in the dishwasher I pretty much call the house ‘clean’.
• Sometimes I wonder if anyone here even cares if the house is clean.
• Don’t get me wrong, ElRey has done a ton to help around the house, in fact I woke up one morning to find that he had done the dishes before he went to work!
• I almost cried.
• But I pretty much cry randomly and at any given moment.
• Anyway, I will sometimes do a test where I will find a toy, a sock, some kid’s dirty underwear in the middle of the floor and I will leave it there to see if anyone else will pick it up.
• It will sit there for 4 days.
• I still have not mastered shaving my legs.
• I am 34 years old and still don’t know how to shave.
• I fear that monthly event.
• I gave up on my knees years ago because they always get sliced.
• It’s like SAW IV in the shower.
• Don’t even get me started on my ankles.
• Sometimes my knees remind me of  a blonde, dense forest.
• I sometimes wonder if there is an entire ecosystem in there.
• That’s when I take my husband’s electric razor because I (hopefully) can’t cut myself with that.
• But enough about my sexy legs..

Status Quote

Emmy Mom has her fun Meme about Facebook status’.

Okay, this is just under the wire but, oh my holiness, I saw one tonight that made me squirt milk out of my nose! I just love the ones that shock the heck out of me! And this status did just that! So here’s a list of awesomely shocking status’.

-You know you are the Mom of a little boy when you have to say "Your toothbrush is NOT for your penis, only your mouth!”

-I was teaching a 2nd Gr class the composition of M/m scales...I asked them what the same notes, eight steps (tones) apart are called...I reminded them that the prefix "oct" = 8...A little boy raised his hand and confidently replied..."Octomom"!!! The teachers in the classroom all looked @ each other and had a silent chuckle!

-If the Nazis really wanted to get Indiana Jones to talk, they would have had him teach first graders on an "inside recess" day.

-Sssh! I'm listening to reason!

-I can't believe it's almost 2011 and I don't even have a hover car OR a robot butler! I feel so cheated! (Okay, so that one was mine.)

Isn’t Facebook delightful??

Random kid moments

  -My eight year old was watching “Super Nanny” the other night which had a very hormonal teenager on it who was swearing and screaming at her mother. In shock my daughter said, “See, this is why I don’t like teenagers! When they’re kids they’re all nice and happy and when they become teenagers they turn into monsters!!” We made sure to get a written statement from her signed in her blood and notarized that she would not turn into a monster at the magical age of 13.

-The same child brought home some prizes from school and she was showing them to us. When she showed us the “Bathroom Riddle Book”, my 6 year old said, “What do you call a butt on a toilet seat? A butt.”

- The 3 year old has a new sign off. She’ll come in, throw a sippy cup at me and say, “MILK!” and walk away. At one point she’ll stop, turn, make a “V” with her first 2 fingers, placing them at her eye and salute as she says, “PEACE OUT!”

-My 6 year old was really upset and when I asked her what was wrong she said, “Why did Jesus put Halloween on Sunday??” I replied, “Jesus had nothing to do with Halloween, child.”

-I was laying on the couch when my 8 year old came up to me and said, “that’s my spot. Move.” I lovingly replied, “No.” She said, “But I was there first.” And her super mature mom said, “I was born first.” She went quiet for a minute and then said, “You had to go there, didn’t you.”

-My 6 year old has brought back a couple math assignment with really low scores on them. We’re talking 3/18! She’s pretty smart so I thought she must have been in a hurry or lazy and just wanted to get it done and put whatever numbers in she wanted. I was showing my husband the paper and he realized what was going on. The problems were numbered so they looked like this: 1. 2 and 3 more=        2. 4 and 5=   and so one. What my child was doing was adding the first 2 numbers so #1 she would put 3, #2 she put 6. While she was getting answers wrong she was adding the numbers she was using correctly. After I pointed it out to the teacher she said what a bright child she was for being able to add those numbers (She was adding 15 and 7, 18 and 4, etc…). Heck yeah, she is!

-Before church yesterday my 3 year old asked to bring her tambourine with her. While my church doesn’t have a band, I’m pretty sure they’d let her start one up just on her cuteness and raw talent!

-Lastly, this isn’t about the kids but it may as well be. ElRey’s sister was babysitting for us the other night and we always chat after we get home. The JAZZ game was on in the background and I made the mistake of thinking we were having a conversation and kept talking to them just as the JAZZ made a touchdown. I didn’t realize I had no audience until they started cheering . They both turned to me at the exact same time and said, “Sorry. Were you saying something?” “……Nevermind..” At least now I know it’s a family trait. It explains a lot!

Halloween is finally done! Phew!

I love November 1st. It’s like a breath of fresh air! Halloween is always fun but it seems like it just becomes more work when you’re the mom. So I wasn’t really in the mood this year but it was sufficiently celebrated. Trust me.
We had a big party at grandma’s which was just wild and crazy. I mean we had musical chairs played to the soft sounds of Dokken.

We had ghouls, bunnies, princess, pirates, fairies,

And even some midget dragons.

We had with fairies dancing in the rain.

She really likes the rain.

Yeah, it was intense.

We then had a Trunk or Treat in our ward where I sat there staring at the wall due to really tight pants, a sweater in an already warm gym, exhaustion and lack of desire to be in public. But the kids had a blast! They got so much candy, it turned my baby into a….dun, dun, DUN…A FLESH EATING BABY!!

We finally got to the actual day (okay, Saturday, we have so many Mormons in Utah we can get away with Trick or Treating on Saturday instead of Sunday) and did some pumpkin carving.

Which I guess put us in the mood to ‘carve’ a couple of chickens who are no longer laying. RIP Chicken and Gabriella.

I can’t smell peanut butter or think of Wheat Thins without my gag reflex going on high alert but I could somehow watch ElRey gut a couple of chickens! I thought about making Hacky Sacs out of their lungs but I don’t think I could get anyone to play with them. My oldest was not happy about the development and at one point she screamed through her tears, “I HATE YOU!! YOU KILLED GABBY!!” Yeah, high point in our parenting. She was over it in 10 minutes so we’re good.

The night ended with some wet Trick or Treating and here’s that little fairy dancing in the rain again:

Phew! Thank Heavens for November!
*Disclaimer: I realize it may look like my 3 year old is my favorite since I have more pictures of her. It’s only because the other girls don’t think about photo ops and take off before I can even say ‘Hang On!’. Therefore, my 3 year old will have to represent the children.
**Welcome to any new readers! I’m happy you’re here and I will do my bets to get over and check your babies blogs out!

Favorite Lady w/ Purseblogger

Hi! I hope you all had a safe and fun Halloween! I have the privilege of being featured in Purseblogger’s segment, Favorite Lady of the Week! She’s one cool cat and I’m so excited she wanted to feature me!

 

 

I’ve never been featured on anything, except maybe a Top 10 List of the Most Obnoxious People on Earth. I’d be like 8th, Rosie O’Donnell taking the #1 spot.

Anyway, go check it out and have a fabulous day!

Smilin’ in October!

It’s that time again. Time to smile with Emmy Mom! Here’s my list of thing to smile about in October:

A fun and busy trip to beautiful Yellowstone. Downside? We watched a documentary on Yellowstone after and I realized we saw about 0.0000013% of the whole park. No bears trying to rip open my cooler, no wolves chasing down a bison and none of the over 300 waterfalls known to be in the park. I was so robbed. Curse you kids just wanting to chase and play with your dozens of cousins!!

Telling my girls about our new addition coming in May and their excitement. (Wouldn’t it have sucked if they were like, “What the??? Another one??”)

Book Club. It’s a place that gets me out of my reading comfort zone and try new books. This month was Frankenstein which I don’t really think was all that scary, more sad. It’s just a really big dude that wants to be loved! Plus, I couldn’t help thinking of Gene Wilder and a giant Peter Boyle singing “Putting on the Ritz”. Although there was the one part as Victor walks in to find his new bride dead, he looks up and finds the 8 foot monster standing in his window grinning at him. Yeah, I may have peed a little then. Plus, it’s a night involving a lot of food, laughing and we talk about anything from issues with the principal or teachers at school, fantasy crushes, gynecologists or stories of inappropriate circumcisions. The thing that worries me is every time we get together our meetings get shorter and shorter. Once upon a time we would last till 1 or 2 AM and this last time it was 11:15. Next thing you know we’ll start meeting at 4 so we can be sure to catch our reruns of Matlock and Murder She Wrote so we can get to bed by 8PM!

Naps! Naps! Naps! It’s the only way I have made it through this month. My child even told her piano teacher that I’ve been really lazy and laying around all the time lately. I can’t wait to tell her that when she experiences being a walking incubator!

Keeping my Sunday School class edgy by referencing R rated films on a regular basis.

One day I looked out the window and witnessed my 8 chickens chase down, capture and kill a mouse! One carried it around in her mouth for a while as all the chickens would try to get it from her. There was even a moment of tug o’ war!! I know I should have been thoroughly disturbed but I was as giddy as a school girl hopped up on Mt. Dew! Who needs a cat when you have killer chickens?? Good, chickens…

My DVR always makes me smile.

ElRey  took the time on Saturday to clean out our back downstairs storage room bedroom. My child can actually get to the piano to practice without having to scale the wall and pull some Mission Impossible moves! It looks amazing!

I got an email from a friend I happened to teach on my mission telling me her son, who was 7 when they joined our Church, was heading out on his mission! That is pretty stinkin cool!

Lastly, watching my little peanut doing the Macarena in an ultrasound! I could have watched it for hours if it was a normal ultrasound, but it was what I like to call “The Violator” so if we didn’t cut it short, the doc would probably have to marry me, or at least buy me dinner!

What are you smiling about today?

Angel moms and their special kids

My husband and I recently watched a movie called Temple Grandin about a woman (Temple) who grew up with autism in a time when no one knew much of anything about it.

We watched as her mother was given the diagnosis by a cold doctor when her daughter was 4 years old. This man told a woman who has been trying everything to help and love her daughter that the cause of autism is ‘cold and aloof mothers that don’t give their child affection’. He then told her the only option was to institutionalize her daughter. Well, that ‘cold and aloof’ mother got her child to talk, read and think for herself and even go to college , receiving a PhD.
Although you didn’t see the mom a ton in the film, I loved her immediately. Because of her hard work and attention to her daughter with special needs, Temple has lived a rich and happy life in spite of her difference and how others saw her.
Unfortunately, autism is being diagnosed more and more with not a whole lot more answers on how or where it comes from. Fortunately, there are more programs and schools that cater to these needs and these children aren’t being immediately thrown into mental hospitals to be forgotten.
I have 2 nephews that are on the autism spectrum. They are angels walking on this earth trapped behind a wall that makes it difficult for them to communicate or show love to those they love the most. I watch in awe as their mothers do everything they can for these boys. They try any new diet, take them to specialty doctors, try holistic approaches, shots, anything that may open a window to their little boy. None of this is cheap and they sacrifice to make it happen. They have even sacrificed any free time they may have because it’s too hard to leave them with a babysitter too often. On occasion, there is the stare or open judgment of strangers (even friends or family members) who sometimes just don’t understand.
I know my sisters-in-law were meant to be these 2 boys mothers. I watch the patience and love that exudes from these women. Their dedication to the safety and happiness of these boys is inspiring and humbling. They remind me of Temple’s mom who did everything to help her daughter overcome her challenges. I know God sends these children to women like Heather and Jen because He knew they could love them through all the hard. I know these mothers are God’s angels on this earth watching out for His special children.
Anyone out there with children with special needs that may be reading this, know that you are doing everything you can for them. Never think for one minute that you are failing or have done something wrong. You have that child because God knew YOU could love them through the hard.

The Announcement

When we found out we were pregnant, we were very excited to share the news! It was especially hard for me to hold in that kind of secret and I failed on a number of occasions. I knew I wanted to do something special to tell our girls about the news. They have been asking for a baby brother for a very long time and I kept telling them that as soon as daddy grew a uterus we’d get right on that. That usually got them sufficiently confused so they would stop asking.

So when we actually were pregnant we wanted to make a big deal about it since their ages made them more aware of what was going on and to be excited about it. I started searching online for how to go about telling them and the best ideas all involved a T-shirt with the announcement on it. I am pathetically craft challenged so I didn’t want to rely on my skillz so I started searching the internets for the perfect shirts. That’s where I found this cute store:

Here you can buy all sorts of personalized shirts for siblings and birth orders and even birth announcements that Erin Delanty has created. There are so many cute choices and you can add each child’s name to the shirt. Here’s some of my favorites:

                  

We finally picked one we could both agree on:

  and 

There are Dad/Grandpa shirts. Here is my favorite ‘Dad Shirt’:

I need to get that for ElRey! Hopefully we haven’t used up all our adorable juices and the 4th one comes out looking like a monkey or something!

They also have some of the cutest blankies for your newest baby!

And the most adorable tooth fairy pillows I’ve ever seen!

So back to our announcement. We decided to give them the shirts the morning we left for Yellowstone so they can show them off to their aunts, uncles and cousins since we hadn’t told them yet. So here’s the video of them finding out. Please ignore my voice-I sound like a drunken sailor in drag, and apparently inflicted with the consumption but my kids are cute!

Mama’s Pregnant!!

 

It was so fun to have each family see the shirts and react. There was more excitement about it than I expected-since this is the 4th kid and all! It was fun to see their surprise and happiness for our growing family!

The kids wear their shirts at least once or twice a week and they love them! I had many people come and ask if it was true since my sweet nibblets have been shouting their joy from the rooftops…and their shirts..