The series that saved my sanity

When I was pregnant with this last child, I thought I had entered a level of purgatory.

I was grateful to be baking another beauty but it started with pain and scares and a sick tummy and it continued that way for 9 long months. I mostly laid in bed with my then 3 year old and when I was awake I was either staring at the wall or crying from all the constant discomfort.

Kind like I do now but that’s beside the point.

Towards the end of the Pregnancy of Sorrow and Woe and Cankles, I had put out a question on Facebook, “Anyone read any good books lately?” Two ladies mentioned the same series.

The Stephanie Plum series by Janet Evanovich.

I immediately ran waddled to my library and got the first one. And let me tell you, it was like a ray of sunshine shined down on my poor crippled and bloated body. It was just enough smut, plenty of crazy grandma, an over abundance or humor, a couple of hookers and two heart-pounding-face-flushing-giggle-like-a-school-girl hunks o’burnin love. AND THERE’S 17 OF THEM!!

I think what I love most, though, is that while Stephanie is described as pretty and apparently has one of those bodies that it doesn’t matter how many peanut butter and olive sandwiches (ew) or donuts or TastyKakes she ate or the fact she hated anything that felt like exercise, she still looked fantastic but she was far from perfect. She often ended up smeared in garbage, someone’s food or at one moment of kindness towards a flock of geese in a park ended with her covered with Cracker Jacks and goose poo. She has at least one car blow up, catch on fire, stolen or vandalized in each book.

And who doesn’t want a side kick hooker turned file clerk who has an unhealthy love for spandex?

Any wonder why this book saved me through one of the biggest transitions of my life??

And to make things even more wonderful, they a movie of the first one.

Now, it’s rare that a movie will do a book justice but it can still be fun.

And, boy, was it.

Especially when you go with 3 of the funnest girls on the planet!

So, while it wasn’t a self-help book called “How to Survive a Crappy Pregnancy” or a book of scripture, it saved one beat down exhausted girl!

Thank you, Sister Evanovich!

S’up?

Babies are a total time suck.

Did you know that?

Well, they are.

And a brain suck.

Good thing she’s cute.

 

 

 

 

 

 

She was really the best thing that happened in 2011 but throwing a baby into the mix hasn’t been easy either. I have had moments where I could feel myself evolving as a human being and then seconds later reverting back to animalistic behavior that could only be compared to a hormonal, PMSing female Hulk without a brownie that would make even The Hulk blush with embarrassment.

I truly feel like I am in a better place mentally and spiritually than I have been in years but I am always teetering on the edge of batsh!tcrazy. Always.

I often have these moments of clarity and epiphany and if I don’t get it written down or at least tell someone about it, I have forgotten it by the next day. I can, however, quote an entire episode of Big Bang Theory, Downton Abbey and liken any experience you or I may have to an old episode of Friends.

Babycakes was crawling by 5 months and into everything. She is just inches away from walking now at almost 9 months and not even falling down the stairs will deter her from taking over the world by her first birthday.

So, I haven’t fallen off the face of the earth yet. I am either fishing something out of a baby’s mouth, being barfed on, doing laundry,finding whatever I didn’t get out of her mouth in her diaper,doing laundry, staring at the wall saying ba ba ba ba ba or losing my ever loving mind. Not necessarily in that order.