What’s in a name?

I’ve had many nicknames in my day.

Mindolee

Hindolee

Mimi

Mintifresh

Polish Princess (this one was from my dad and it wasn’t till later that I realized this may have been a veiled insult…)

I tried to get ‘Crusher’ to stick once but it never did

Idiot- can’t seem to get away from that one…

A few others I shouldn’t repeat..

The one that I just can’t seem to wrap my brain around and it sometimes sends me into cold sweats is, ‘Mom’.

It’s not that I don’t love it or that I’d rather be doing something else with my life. It’s just that it makes me realize that the buck stops here. I’m the adult. If things are screwed up it’s my fault. It’s little things like finding out the lunch account at school is $5 in the hole, taking them to the dentist to find several cavities, forgetting to send back library books or thinking my 8 and 6 year old are responsible enough to hang out in the morning while mom catches a few more minutes of sleep only to discover that they went through 8, yes 8, granola bars within a 45 minute period!! I really hoped they’d have a nice case of the runs after that one. But, no, my wishes never come true! Not even a belly ache! Sheesh! Where’s natural consequences when you need them?

One of my favorites was when I was volunteering in my daughter’s class and my job was to help the kids stay on task and answer any questions. It wasn’t until the hour was up that I realized I was giving the kids the wrong answer…okay 2 wrong answers on their worksheet!! I had to explain to the teacher that ALL the children will have that answer wrong because of me! She just smiled and giggled but I knew at that moment I was not smarter than a 5th grader. Or a 3rd grader.

The teacher at church yesterday had said she believed all parents were given the gift to know how to teach their children knowledge and wisdom and I blurted out, ‘When do we get that?’ I feel like the biggest dummy on earth trying to raise these children to be responsible and happy adults (this is where you think start thinking, great…she adding another one?? Don’t worry, it’s the last one). I think I have happy, kind and respectful kids but sometimes in dealing with them on a daily basis I worry that I am messing up big time! It seems the only way I can ever get their attention is by yelling and acting like a lunatic! I know all the Super Nanny tricks and what not but whenever I try to get them to listen or whatever it always ends up with one of us crying and the other one realizing I really am nuts.

I think the biggest time I feel the fear the most is when we travel. All of our travelling this year was with other families so there were other adults there to back you up and other children to keep mine occupied but when it’s just ElRey and I and the kids. Boy howdy! I think it’s the vulnerability that frightens me. When I was a kid we travelled all the time but I always felt safe and like nothing could go wrong because my parents were on it. But when you’re the parent, you’re counting heads, every dollar spent, watching out for any creeps eying your kids, praying you don’t get  a flat tire, that the flight isn’t delayed, or crashes, hoping you don’t have to have a strip search in front of your kids or if you do, hoping you wore your nice underwear (and it’s not on backwards).

This is coming from a born nomad, a wanderer. A person who went to Mexico in a short bus with a bunch of near strangers with $100, a backpack, sleeping bag, and a hope that there will be a beach to sleep on. Now I worry about every little thing! Even my mood. What trip would be fun if mom’s crabby the whole time?

I tired to prove I was still brave a few years back. I decided I needed to go visit my BFF out in California where she had just moved. I was about 6 months pregnant with a 5 year old and 3 year old. I was going to drive until I found really cheap tickets to fly the 3 of us out for a few days. I have never been so stressed in my life! I was terrified of the airport and all it’s new security, afraid my kids would make the 1 1/2 hour flight a living hell and that I would lose someone along the way. When I was with my friend and her family, it was all good (except for my 3 year old waking up at 6 or earlier every morning and wandering into the master bedroom…awkward..)  We played around town, had fun with her and her kids, and we did the one thing that is mandatory for me on any coastal trip-we hit the beach! That was where I almost lost my 3 year old to the waves if it wasn’t for Amber’s fast acting son! We then had a surprise trip to Disneyland before we were to fly home and that was a whole other ball of wax! I had my VERY helpful BFF but I was tired, hot and sore and I was trying to make it the best experience possible so I was sneaking on rides, hoping the attendants wouldn’t notice my life giving belly, trying to see as much as possible all in one day. I was so swollen by the end of the day that all I could feel was a dull ache from the knee down and the fear that I will have to tackle the airport and plane ride home in just a few short hours.

We made it home safely, and exhausted and I even kept a smile on my face for most of the trip in spite of any worries or discomfort. My kid’s still talk about that trip and ask at least weekly when we are going to Amber’s house again. I’m pretty sure they are thinking Disneyland will be involved again, although, Amber is pretty awesome!

Thinking about taking another family trip makes me wish I travelled more when it was easier.

Back when I was ‘Crusher’.

Friday confessional

First, I want to say thanks for all the concern, well wishes and love I got from that last post. I am feeling much better since my last doc appointment and I’m sorry if I made anyone cry

After a good cry there’s one thing I always love to do. That’s right. Confess with the Glammers.

I confess-

• I’m a little concerned about my mental capacity.
• A few days ago, I went a few hours with my underwears on backwards.
• The only reason I found out was I had to pee.
• When I told my husband he said, “Well, did you fix them??”
• That would have been too much work.
• My husband gets upset when I tell people this.
• He finds it embarrassing.
• He just doesn’t understand the art and science of pure comedy.
• I think I may have come down with a case of Tourette's.
• Sometimes I think I may have been a trucker or drunk sailor in my past life.
• I figure it’s okay to use swear words as long as you leave a letter off the word.
• Dam.
• Hel.
• Shi.
• Bastar.
• See? not really swearing.
• Saying them in a different language helps, too.
• If people don’t know what you’re saying then it’s okay.
• I think I may be a drunk even though I have never had an alcoholic drink.
• Last night at book club someone mentioned tequila and Tabasco sauce and I immediately started salivating.
• I’ve never even tasted Tabasco sauce.
• Just kidding.
• But apparently it sounded really good last night.
• Sometimes I want to try a cocktail.
• But not for the actual drink, I just want the olives in the drink.
• I’m such a drunk.
• I think I might have narcolepsy.
• I try to read my scriptures in the morning and I will get through a verse (if I’m lucky) and next thing I know it’s 2 hours later, I’m facedown in a puddle of my own drool and my 3 year old has successfully destroyed an entire loaf of bread.
• In my bed.
• Oh, and she’s completely nude.
• I can stay up till 1AM reading a trashy novel, though.
• I fell asleep the other night around 6:30 or so and didn’t wake up till my kids’ bedtime.
• I figured I’d be up all night.
• Nope.
• I fell asleep just fine.
• And the next morning, after I took the kids to school I came home and slept for another 2 hours.
• Woke up, got ready and wanted another nap.
• In fact, I want a nap right now.

Life stood still

I haven’t been very peppy lately. Anything I’ve thought of to write about just turns into a whine. I’d rather just be quiet than subject you all to my whining. That’s why I have a husband. Poor guy.

It seems as though my life just stopped when I got myself in a family way. It started when my friend and I decided to do a hike in prep for our half marathon/trail run.  This was 2 weeks before I could even find out if I was pregnant. I was getting ready to go and grabbed a drink of water then immediately bent down to put my daughter’s shoes on and almost lost my breakfast right at her feet. It took me a little while to recover from that and almost didn’t want to go but we went with our 3 year olds strapped to our backs. It was pretty hardcore and beautiful but it took me all day to recover from it. That’s was the beginning of my 24/7 nausea that I could not kick. So I knew what was up before I could even take a test. A few days later I went out on a 10 mile run and was feeling okay on the first half but the second half was brutal. I’ve never wanted to call my husband to come get me during a run so bad but I wobbled to the finish. I could not stay awake the rest of the day and felt awful.

Needless to say, I missed out on the race.

For 3 months I’ve been near paralyzed with fear, panic, nausea, and extreme fatigue. My first pregnancy ended early with a miscarriage and each pregnancy after I just fear the worse till I know different. For some reason this time has been even worse! I hardly leave my house cuz I’m sick and/or wanna just lay. Plus, I was worried I’d tell people I was pregnant and every time I would, I’d think don’t get too excited, yet. I was trying to have faith in what I felt and just give in to the joy of the addition to our family but I just couldn’t! Ever time I would I’d think of the several friends and family member who have had a miscarriage in the past 6 months and wonder if I was next.

I finally went to my first appointment to find out all was well! But I was still really sick and tired so I festered in my home, hardly coherent for my family, feeling guilty for how useless I felt I was. Then a mom’s worst fear happened. I went out for some humiliation shopping and came home empty handed and not feeling so well. That’s when the bleeding started.

With my last pregnancy I had bleeding for the first few months and I went in numerous times thinking I was in the middle of a miscarriage. one time it was on the way to our niece’s funeral and we had to take a detour to the doctor to find out, luckily, all was well. It was just some trapped blood. Totally gross and stressful. But the baby was fine and all was well.

So when it happened this time I first thought it was just doing the same thing again but called the doctor and they were able to fit me in before they left early that day. The moment I walked into the office, it suddenly got much worse and I was unprepared. The front desk lady told me I could sit down and I told her I couldn’t because of what was happening and immediately started bawling. Yeah, I went straight into the ugly cry. I was so embarrassed. I know I had good reason to be upset but who wants to show their raw emotions in public, plus, I had told myself from the beginning that if I did lose the baby, I was not going to be emotional about it because I knew it would all be okay.

So the nurse came out and gathered me up in her arms and led me to the ultrasound room as I sobbed and sobbed saying I cannot do this again! She probably thought I meant miscarry but I meant get pregnant again. If this one didn’t stick I could not go through the past few months all over again. I just couldn’t do it.

The ultrasound tech got me all prepped and turned on the ultrasound. The picture came up of a calm, quiet baby with a solid beating heart. I honestly didn’t think it was possible. I thought I’d be walking out of there with bawling eyes and an appointment for a D&C. Instead I walked out with shocked and happy eyes, and another picture of my healthy baby!

I couldn’t have been more grateful or feel so lite! It felt like a miracle to me, even knowing that, according to my doctor, this kind of thing happens often. I just couldn’t believe it would happen to me twice! As soon as I got home I went to the website I found that rents these:

Yes, in my panic, I rented a fetal heart monitor. I knew the bleeding wouldn’t stop anytime soon, if it was like my last one, and I didn’t want to run to my doctor’s office every time I panicked over it. It has helped so much because it has been going on for 2 weeks now with no sign of stopping. It’s so great to be able to listen to my baby’s heartbeat anytime I feel worried or just want  a happy sound. It helped get through the panicky feelings of the past couple weeks!

I had my appointment again today and the doc told me I may still have a couple more weeks at least of these issues so I am very glad I have my little pet! The panic has been eased and I’m not constantly sick, only sometimes and sometimes I even have enough energy to make dinner or take the kids out or maybe even vacuum! of course, now the doc has said to ‘take is easy’ for the next couple weeks. I really should have asked for more details on that one but maybe I won’t feel quite as guilty about my house being a mess for a little while..

Although I am looking like I am 5 months along instead of 3, I only gained 4 lbs. Which is shocking considering my appetite is coming back with a vengeance! I mean, watch out, I may bite your arm…or at least that pretzel in your hand..

Don’t worry folks, I promise I will not constantly be talking about being pregnant and I promise there will be no pictures of my expanding belly. I am not a cute pregnant lady and I don’t want to frighten you. You may think I’m a beached whale and try to throw me back out to sea.

Where did the time go?

When did this little ball of cuteness and hair....

Suddenly turn into this cute, funny, friendly, giggly and smart young lady??

Happy Birthday to the sweetest redhead I've ever known!

I love you, my eldest!

Friday Confessional

I just gots-ta take some time to confess with Glamazon! I got a lot of junk in my trunk brain lately and I gotta do something lite, you know, like confess my darkest secrets…

I confess:

• Lately if my sinks are empty of dirty dishes, heck, if I have clean dishes in the dishwasher I pretty much call the house ‘clean’.
• Sometimes I wonder if anyone here even cares if the house is clean.
• Don’t get me wrong, ElRey has done a ton to help around the house, in fact I woke up one morning to find that he had done the dishes before he went to work!
• I almost cried.
• But I pretty much cry randomly and at any given moment.
• Anyway, I will sometimes do a test where I will find a toy, a sock, some kid’s dirty underwear in the middle of the floor and I will leave it there to see if anyone else will pick it up.
• It will sit there for 4 days.
• I still have not mastered shaving my legs.
• I am 34 years old and still don’t know how to shave.
• I fear that monthly event.
• I gave up on my knees years ago because they always get sliced.
• It’s like SAW IV in the shower.
• Don’t even get me started on my ankles.
• Sometimes my knees remind me of  a blonde, dense forest.
• I sometimes wonder if there is an entire ecosystem in there.
• That’s when I take my husband’s electric razor because I (hopefully) can’t cut myself with that.
• But enough about my sexy legs..

Status Quote

Emmy Mom has her fun Meme about Facebook status’.

Okay, this is just under the wire but, oh my holiness, I saw one tonight that made me squirt milk out of my nose! I just love the ones that shock the heck out of me! And this status did just that! So here’s a list of awesomely shocking status’.

-You know you are the Mom of a little boy when you have to say "Your toothbrush is NOT for your penis, only your mouth!”

-I was teaching a 2nd Gr class the composition of M/m scales...I asked them what the same notes, eight steps (tones) apart are called...I reminded them that the prefix "oct" = 8...A little boy raised his hand and confidently replied..."Octomom"!!! The teachers in the classroom all looked @ each other and had a silent chuckle!

-If the Nazis really wanted to get Indiana Jones to talk, they would have had him teach first graders on an "inside recess" day.

-Sssh! I'm listening to reason!

-I can't believe it's almost 2011 and I don't even have a hover car OR a robot butler! I feel so cheated! (Okay, so that one was mine.)

Isn’t Facebook delightful??

Random kid moments

  -My eight year old was watching “Super Nanny” the other night which had a very hormonal teenager on it who was swearing and screaming at her mother. In shock my daughter said, “See, this is why I don’t like teenagers! When they’re kids they’re all nice and happy and when they become teenagers they turn into monsters!!” We made sure to get a written statement from her signed in her blood and notarized that she would not turn into a monster at the magical age of 13.

-The same child brought home some prizes from school and she was showing them to us. When she showed us the “Bathroom Riddle Book”, my 6 year old said, “What do you call a butt on a toilet seat? A butt.”

- The 3 year old has a new sign off. She’ll come in, throw a sippy cup at me and say, “MILK!” and walk away. At one point she’ll stop, turn, make a “V” with her first 2 fingers, placing them at her eye and salute as she says, “PEACE OUT!”

-My 6 year old was really upset and when I asked her what was wrong she said, “Why did Jesus put Halloween on Sunday??” I replied, “Jesus had nothing to do with Halloween, child.”

-I was laying on the couch when my 8 year old came up to me and said, “that’s my spot. Move.” I lovingly replied, “No.” She said, “But I was there first.” And her super mature mom said, “I was born first.” She went quiet for a minute and then said, “You had to go there, didn’t you.”

-My 6 year old has brought back a couple math assignment with really low scores on them. We’re talking 3/18! She’s pretty smart so I thought she must have been in a hurry or lazy and just wanted to get it done and put whatever numbers in she wanted. I was showing my husband the paper and he realized what was going on. The problems were numbered so they looked like this: 1. 2 and 3 more=        2. 4 and 5=   and so one. What my child was doing was adding the first 2 numbers so #1 she would put 3, #2 she put 6. While she was getting answers wrong she was adding the numbers she was using correctly. After I pointed it out to the teacher she said what a bright child she was for being able to add those numbers (She was adding 15 and 7, 18 and 4, etc…). Heck yeah, she is!

-Before church yesterday my 3 year old asked to bring her tambourine with her. While my church doesn’t have a band, I’m pretty sure they’d let her start one up just on her cuteness and raw talent!

-Lastly, this isn’t about the kids but it may as well be. ElRey’s sister was babysitting for us the other night and we always chat after we get home. The JAZZ game was on in the background and I made the mistake of thinking we were having a conversation and kept talking to them just as the JAZZ made a touchdown. I didn’t realize I had no audience until they started cheering . They both turned to me at the exact same time and said, “Sorry. Were you saying something?” “……Nevermind..” At least now I know it’s a family trait. It explains a lot!

Halloween is finally done! Phew!

I love November 1st. It’s like a breath of fresh air! Halloween is always fun but it seems like it just becomes more work when you’re the mom. So I wasn’t really in the mood this year but it was sufficiently celebrated. Trust me.
We had a big party at grandma’s which was just wild and crazy. I mean we had musical chairs played to the soft sounds of Dokken.

We had ghouls, bunnies, princess, pirates, fairies,

And even some midget dragons.

We had with fairies dancing in the rain.

She really likes the rain.

Yeah, it was intense.

We then had a Trunk or Treat in our ward where I sat there staring at the wall due to really tight pants, a sweater in an already warm gym, exhaustion and lack of desire to be in public. But the kids had a blast! They got so much candy, it turned my baby into a….dun, dun, DUN…A FLESH EATING BABY!!

We finally got to the actual day (okay, Saturday, we have so many Mormons in Utah we can get away with Trick or Treating on Saturday instead of Sunday) and did some pumpkin carving.

Which I guess put us in the mood to ‘carve’ a couple of chickens who are no longer laying. RIP Chicken and Gabriella.

I can’t smell peanut butter or think of Wheat Thins without my gag reflex going on high alert but I could somehow watch ElRey gut a couple of chickens! I thought about making Hacky Sacs out of their lungs but I don’t think I could get anyone to play with them. My oldest was not happy about the development and at one point she screamed through her tears, “I HATE YOU!! YOU KILLED GABBY!!” Yeah, high point in our parenting. She was over it in 10 minutes so we’re good.

The night ended with some wet Trick or Treating and here’s that little fairy dancing in the rain again:

Phew! Thank Heavens for November!
*Disclaimer: I realize it may look like my 3 year old is my favorite since I have more pictures of her. It’s only because the other girls don’t think about photo ops and take off before I can even say ‘Hang On!’. Therefore, my 3 year old will have to represent the children.
**Welcome to any new readers! I’m happy you’re here and I will do my bets to get over and check your babies blogs out!

Favorite Lady w/ Purseblogger

Hi! I hope you all had a safe and fun Halloween! I have the privilege of being featured in Purseblogger’s segment, Favorite Lady of the Week! She’s one cool cat and I’m so excited she wanted to feature me!

 

 

I’ve never been featured on anything, except maybe a Top 10 List of the Most Obnoxious People on Earth. I’d be like 8th, Rosie O’Donnell taking the #1 spot.

Anyway, go check it out and have a fabulous day!