This would be why ElRey and Mindi walk around like zombies all the time:

For weeks our youngest has been struggling with sleeping. She’s 2, she should’ve had this figured out a long time ago. For some unknown reason, she wakes up several times a night. I’m pretty sure she waits until she hears snoring and that’s when the screaming commences. Again.

Let me take you on a trip. A trip of our night life. Oh yeah, it’s hot!

12am: I am just getting to bed. Some nights I amaze myself (and ElRey) and get to bed by 10:30. By this time Elrey has usually been asleep for 2-3 hours at this point.

1am: I have finally dozed off and the screaming begins. One of us goes and gets her and *gasp* bring her into bed with us. All in an attempt to keep other small people sleeping and maybe get a little of that ourselves.

1:05am: The crying for water begins.

1:15am: I am laying in soggy sheets because the stupid piece of crap sippy cup leaked.

1:25am: A small foot in someone’s unmentionables.

1:37am: A slap in the face by a small hand.

2am: One of us takes her back to her bed (usually ElRey, because he’s pretty awesome).

2:15am: More screaming.

2:17am: A strong desire to put a fist through the wall fills our bedroom.

2:18am: Child is back in our bed.

2:25am: I am laying in soggier sheets because the stupid piece of crap diapers she wears can’t hold what she gives it.

2:26am: Swear words, the smell of urine and stale farts fill our bedroom. I will only claim the swear words willingly.

3am: Another attempt to put her in her bed(probably by ElRey again-I’m telling you, he rocks!).

4am: Again with the crying, dammit.

At this point I pretty much give up on sleep because I am desperate to get to the gym to get on with ‘damage control’ from the past couple weeks of debauchery. This is when I lay there thinking of how in the world am I going to take care of this:

And this:

And this room of fun:

And these cute things(I have an extra one for a couple days):

And all this (note the small hand getting in the way, a sign of how that may actually go…):

How much of this will be ingested to help me through it:

   

How much of this will be taken to keep that migraine at bay:

All without the aid of this, which died this weekend:

All because of this:

  

I know you are way jealous of my life. But it’s mine! You can’t have it! Now go get on with your rested life, I gotta get back to being a zombie.

TURKEYS RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!! I will keep you safe….I promise…

 

It is that time again! I am beginning to think this is the only way to go for blog posting. Quick, easy and totally random. Just like me!

 

 

 

 

 

What are your Thanksgiving plans? I hope it’s a great one!

Piercings, sleepovers and staples

It’s been busy and crazy over here. The semester is winding down for me but the hissy fits seem to be escalating. The kids fear for their lives. Momma just might end up in the loony bin. But at least she’ll have an associates degree. It was funny, I was talking to my SIL last night and she asked me why I was going to school and Audrey said, “Because Obama told her to!” I do as I’m told.

With all this craziness, I decided it was time. Time for a piercing. Yes, I got my navel pierced and by navel I mean nipple. Yeah, I’m hard core. And by hard core I mean I took my newly 8 year old to have her ears pierced. I just wanted to gross you out. I’ll wait while you clean the vomit off of your keyboard.

Anyway, my first born turned 8 recently and to celebrate we did what I did for my 8th birthday-she got her ears pierced. The only difference is this time around no one passed out. I was very brave. And so was she:

I think those earrings were laced in speed or something-she was so hyper! We took her out to dinner just the 3 of us and it was a delight!

I was so excited because I was about to have some Chocolate chip cookie pie. It doesn’t take much to get me excited!

We then did the cheapest thing I could think of and yet have it still feel special-we allowed Audrey to invite 3 friends to sleep over. It may be the last one for a long time but it went really well. I had one girl say, “I wish this night would never end!” and another girl say, “I wish we could sleepover 2 nights!” There was more fun and giggling than there were sweet dreams but they had a blast and we all survived!

This last week, Lily was at a friend’s house when she fell off the coach and hit her head on the windowsill.

This picture doesn’t really do it justice, all I know is if I looked it in the eye, I would get a little woozy-especially when the doctor treated it like a Muppet while testing it’s depth. My baby got her head stapled but was a major trooper:

The next day she was back to her climbing, crazy and giggling self. She’ll get the staples out this week and I am not looking forward to that appointment!

I missed class last week because of that injury, I really could have made it even if I was an hour late and I am really wishing I had gone because while my professor was very understanding and let me email my homework to him, he also told me he would send me the review questions for this Wednesday. It’s Monday night and I haven’t received anything. I have emailed other students, I have emailed him twice, called his cell phone and I am officially in panic mode. It takes me a week to work on these reviews. So, pretty much I want to run screaming down the street and finish off with pounding my head against the wall. I’m sure chocolate would help, too.

Needless to say, I've been very fun to be around today. I am restless and antsy wanting to do something and yet not knowing what to do. So I am sitting here rambling into the blogger universe, boring the masses, or at least 3 people, counting myself.

There is something that makes me very happy. This past week I ended up with almost '50 ‘followers’ on this blog! I don’t know how it happened, or how I duped you all into thinking I’m cool (especially how often I talk about my Rule as Queen of the Dorks) but I am flattered! I may not know how I will pay my mortgage but I have a few new followers and that makes me smile! Thanks for coming by!

Minor Update:

I finally heard from my professor-no test Weds! The review is the test! Sweet mercy, he really is a rock star!! I'm so happy, I'm gonna go make-out with my hubby! And by make-out I mean read scriptures with him....

Sticky notes of fun

Once again it’s time for:

Yes, it’s literature for the ADHD, that does mean you. You know who you are! (Did I just call this literature?? I think Charles Dickens just turned over in his grave!)

 

 

 

Now who’s ready to go give today a good kick in the crotch?! I know I am…after I get some Ibuprofen…

Awkward…..

I don’t want to shock you but,

I am awkward.

After all these years, I am still the larger than everyone around me little 14 year old who that EFY t-shirts with 6 inches cut off the bottom were hot. Never comfortable in my own skin. I was a late bloomer and by the time I realized the power I had in my *huge* B-cup, I was married and it was too late to wield my superpowers on all the innocent males. And now it’s too late, they being less than what they once were. But, they still work on my man, who is out buying me some chocolate chip cookies as we speak/write. ~wink~

I did hit my stride there for a while just before my mission and right after (the mish didn’t count, it was full of jumpers, antidepressants and sudsy shoes. Oh, and a big bum). I was actually comfortable in my own skin, confidant regardless of what I wore or whom I was with. I was alright with me.

So how does one lose that confidence in a relatively short period of time? How does this:

 

Be reduced to this:

Where did that other girl go? I have lost her. Okay, I never really had that body but still. I felt good about myself. It doesn’t help that I have the prettiest friends. I really do. I am the token “sweet spirit” in her stupid orange sweatshirt she apparently got on the trade-in of the EFY t-shirts. I’m the one who takes it too far, who asks the stupid questions and probably the only one that farts.

Oh well. That is what I am known for, no, not for my keen fashion sense, but my blatant awkwardness. And that’s alright, I’ll take it, at least I’m known, right? At my funeral they’ll say, “she was really awkward..what was up with that orange sweatshirt? I hope she doesn’t bring it to the Resurrection. She did have really nice hair, though.”

Now that would be a tender eulogy, probably given by my husband.

*Sorry for the soft porn, just trying to prove a point! And it really isn’t my body, nor will it ever be. It is my cherubly chubby face, though. Please, don’t mock the orange sweatshirt, it’s all I got in my sad, awkward world……

A Testimonial

I got my Conference issue Ensign in the mail the other day and I promised myself that I would read at least one talk from from it or the scriptures each day. Last week I was listening to a talk given by President Uchtdorf from April’s conference and he talked about being a true disciple of Christ and not a ‘spectator disciple’.

Yeah, I’ve been a  ‘spectator disciple’ for a really long time little bit. But from what I can see in my big comfy chair, you guys are all doing great! Pass me the popcorn!

I am trying to change that, thus the promise of reading good things each day-at least before I get on to the smut I usually read like, Stephanie Meyer or Anita Stansfield. (she says laced heavily with sarcasm. Just to be clear.)

I’ve done really good. 3 whole days in a row. I know, amazing.

Anyway, did anyone else notice how much talk there is about feeling the Spirit and sharing testimonies? Well, I did. And it got me thinking about my own testimony and how I got it.

I was struggling with what I believed just after high school-did I want in or not? This was when I fell in love with a particular musical. I loved the music, how the story went and the movie of it was done in the 70s-need I say more. Oh yeah, and it was a disco rock opera. That’s right, you guessed it: Jesus Christ Superstar.

Image taken from here

Now, for most of us in the ‘Mormon faith’, this isn’t exactly a reverent telling of the ministry and death of our Savior. But for some reason, at that time, this musical filled my soul. I watched the movie and I listened to the soundtrack over and over again. No one hits that high note like Ted Neeley.

Well, guess what came to town to our little Capital Theater in Downtown Salt Lake. They even had Ted Neeley playing Jesus. I had to go and I did. Right in the front of the top balcony. Ted/Jesus was not quite so waifish as he was in the movie but he could still hit those high notes.

Oddly enough, during this irreverent musical something happened to me. I came to know that Jesus Christ was real and that He is my Savior. I always figured that I didn’t give God much to go on to speak to me so He was alright with using this rock opera to touch my soul.

I still have the soundtrack but I feel differently when I listen to it. All I can think of is how beautiful it is and yet slightly off the mark. I tried to get rid of it-I’ve grown a bit, spiritually, amazingly enough-and I realize it’s a smidge sacrilegious. But I couldn’t bring myself to get rid of it. It really means too much to me for what it gave me so long ago.  Every now and then I sneak a listen like sneaking a Diet Coke into Sunday School in a brown paper bag.

My BFF just told me it’s coming to San Diego-near her home. Guess who’s playing Jesus-Yup, my man, Ted Neeley. Man, I want to go! Not only would I get to see my BFF, I would get to enjoy a lovely rock opera near the beach. Could anything be any better than that??

So basically scriptures, church, prayer just aren't enough for me to get the point. I guess I need to be entertained in the process. You wouldn’t believe how I first got my testimony of Joseph Smith-no not from reading his account, not from Sunday School, not even from that horrid movie “Legacy”(barf)! It was Bro. Gerald Lund and his Work and the Glory series! Again, I was young and still trying to figure it all out but, it’s true those books gave me something that nothing else had-insight into who Joseph Smith was as a man and a Prophet.

I guess being a very empathetic person, I have to see things on a very personal level. I have to feel and experience with the person to really get it. The scriptures and other accounts are wonderful and true but for me to see someone’s rendition of Christ talking with God in the Garden, his struggle, it made it much more real to me. The same with Lund’s books-you saw the struggles Joseph and the early church had but they (most of them) kept going, kept trying. It really brings it all home for me.

I guess this is where I bare my testimony of media and other fine sources of clean(ish) entertainment.

I so get that from my dad!

Post-Its Tuesday: what would you say?

 

Click to get your own! It’s become all the rage! Seriously!

A penny for my thoughts? Around here, they go for a dollar at least! Well, here’s a few, at least the appropriate ones…