I confess…my undying lurve….

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I confess:

• It’s my 10th wedding Anniversary today!
• I can’t believe he stuck around!
• I can’t believe I convinced him even to marry me!
• It was because of my big beautiful eyes, I’m sure.
• And by eyes I mean boobs.
• We’re supposed to be in Hawaii or Tuscany of this momentous anniversary.
• Turns out we might get to go see a movie instead.
• Lucky.
• Hey, but don’t you worry! Romance isn’t dead over here!
• That hubby o’ mine took good care of me this week while I was knocking at Death’s Door down with a heinous cold.
• Even with my chappy nose and cheeks, snot running everywhere, and heavy mouth breathing he still called me beautiful several times and even grabbed my butt.
• Now, that is love.
• With all that snot and sneezing I got way behind on all the important things.
• Like blogging and my DVR.
• Oh, yeah, and housework **snort**
• What’s the freakin point of that?!?!
• I thought it was a good idea to have 44 ounces of Diet Coke at 10:30 pm.
• It is now 2:20 am and I am looking for something to do.
• Anyone up for a Denny’s run?!

Happy Anniversary, My hunk-a- hunk o’ burnin’ love! Thanks for the happiest 10 years of my life!

Was blind but now I see, kinda…

So, I got my glasses. I have to say while I feel like I have taken a drive down the canyon, rode a roller coaster and then went on a high speed merry go round, I think I may be pulling off the whole “Hot Librarian” look. I have to be sure not to look side to side to fast or I just about fall over. We were at my brother’s house yesterday and I went outside on their deck. I didn’t see the step and just about face planted it in a pile of snow. Plus, their table was totally lopsided and I couldn’t figure out how the food wasn’t slipping off it.

Oh how I wish I could partake in the miracle of Lasik! I had a Doctor tell me years ago that I wouldn’t be a good candidate for it because I had really big pupils. I slapped him and told him to look up at my eyes. Then I realized he was talking about my eyes. Boy, that was awkward.

I had a Shakespeare teacher a while back that came in beaming one day because she could see again thanks to Lasik. That’s when she pulled out the video to show us the procedure. Being one with the strong constitution, I ended up laying in the corner of the room, pale-faced and nauseous, as everyone watched her eyes be sliced open while she was awake! Awake, people! She was Awake!

What people will do to get some Valium is beyond me!

Course, I pop out babies just to get me some Loratab. To each her own, I guess.

I think I would be a little more willing to have it done now, if my pupils aren’t an issue anymore, but my husband is twice as blind as I am so I’m thinking he should get it first, if we ever have a few grand lying around that is. Which isn’t all that likely soon.

Oh wait, I’m trying to be more positive.

We’re totally gonna be millionaires by 2011!

I’m also positive that there is no active potty training going on any longer around here. When she started going in the potty I thought, crap, she’s too young! Every time I hear of a kid being potty trained before 3, they seem to regress and have more accidents. But I thought since she was the one who started it I could have it done in a week.

As you have noticed, that has not been the case.

After the last (multi-colored??? What the what??) log left on the floor, I had had enough and the diaper went back on.

I don’t feel bad at all.

Because glasses, contacts or Lasik aside, the last thing I need to see is a pile of crap on my floor.

Friday Confessional with Glamazon!

Look at her awesome button….no, that’s awesome too but I said button!

Click on it to join in the fun! Getting things off your chest always feels better…

I confess:

• I like me a drink run.
• So much that I think I may be a regular at my local Maverick.
• I could make decorations out of all their cups that tend to accumulate around here.
• I sometimes wish that like Norm on “Cheers”, everyone would yell out “MINDI” when I walked through the door.
• I think I’ve earned it.
• Although, I’d worry that “Sam” and I would start a torrid affair that would end badly.
• Oh wait, it’s not Cheers in real life and “Sam” no longer has hair.
• But he sure was dreamy back then.
• Did I just age myself by confessing my crush on Sam Malone?
• Or the fact I know his name AND remember it?
• So what if I was in love with him when I was like 14! I could do worse!
• It was between him and the judge on Night Court.
• Phew! I can’t remember his name, but he was so funny and cute!
• Oh yeah, and Magnum, PI. He was dreamy in those short shorts.
• What was it with me and the older men? Wow!
• When I wake up in the morning I start the count down to when I think it’s kosher to start drinking. Diet Coke, that is.
• Good thing I never took up alcohol, I’d be an alcoholic.
• I’d be the mom that wore a lot of perfume to cover the booze smell and everyone at the park would be wondering how drunk I really was at 11 in the morning.
• I’m pretty sure I should care more.
• Care that my pants keep getting tighter, care that my kids have had only one bath this whole week, care that I may die of an artificial sweetener overdose some day.
• But I don’t.
• Just pass me that Diet Coke, put on “Magnum, PI” and  I’m good.

What do you have to confess??

Late night musings

I can’t sleep.

My child woke us up just as I fell asleep and now I have given up after enjoying the feeling of my aorta pumping away and heartburn that is making me want to vomit instead of the much desired ZzzzZZzz’s before an early morning spin class. Maybe blabbing away here will help those zzz’s come sooner than later.

My sister-in-law, you know the one that almost gave birth at one of Utah’s tourist hot spots (read about it here), had her baby today. I’m so excited! This is their 5th! I haven’t had the chance of being apart of 3 of their kids’ lives since they have lived far away for about 10 years. I’m excited to have them back so close and to be more apart of their lives and to watch this new manchild grow up!

She’s one of those ladies that doesn’t use an epidural. I know, crazy, right? She’s one tough chick! Luckily, her labor doesn’t last real long, just a few hours so I think that helps. I think if I had shorter labors like that as opposed to 18 freaking hours of blissful child bearing pain I could maybe do it without that big honkin needle of joy and happiness. I don’t know though, I’ve recently started back up on my monthly ‘womanly ways’ and for the first few days I’m curled up in the fetal position wishing for death, or at the very least a nice narcotic and a Johnny Depp movie.

Alright, I give, she’s tougher than me.

Anyway, welcome newest manchild, to our clan of chaos and weirdos!

I really like being liked.

I mean, that desire is so strong I will put your needs above my own in hopes that you will like me. I won’t compromise my morals (unless I’m totally desperate), but I will try to come up with ways to be liked. So the fact that so many of you seem to like to come and hear what I have to say is a dream come true. It’s freakin awesome!

It’s even doubly freakin awesome when I get an award!! Emmy gave me this a little bit ago and with all the carnival fun going on, I haven’t had a chance to put it up! She is always fun to read because she does great things with her kids and takes some amazing pictures! Go check her out! She’s awesome!

I never thought I would win an award for anything ever and look, now I have 2!! Look at me go! Noble Prize, here I come! If Obama can do it for no clear reason, heck, so can I!!

So now I give it to 7 other blogs which is so hard! There are so many amazing blogs out there! So let me see….

1. Sunny Little Rain Cloud- Jillian is hilarious! She’s also trying to go pay it forward in Africa this summer so go see what that’s about and how you can help her get there! Seriously, she’s hilarious!

2. This is Me Now- This is Emily and she happens to be Melissa’s (over at Glamazon, who also got this award from Emmy, which is why I didn’t list her, though I love her!) sister. She is chronicling her weight loss journey and she is so inspiring! Not just about weight loss but achieving any goal you put your mind to!

3. Ramblings of Lolee- I love this little Lori! So much that even thought we’ve never actually met, we are Facebook friends! Go check her out! She’s smart and witty and a social worker molding young minds!

4. Ordinary Miracles- by Heather, who happens to be my sister-in-law. She writes about the daily blessings and struggles of having an son with autism and I hope she keeps it up! Matthew is a sweet boy and has a story that needs to be heard!

5. Matt, Liz and Madeline- Matt is a widowed father of a sweet little girl (that reminds me of my own wee one). He talks about life as a widower and his cute daughter and their adventures. Always, always, always a good read. Bring tissue, just in case!

6. Creative Chaos- Cynthia is the leader of this one and she is either showing off her awesome skills, like an Up inspired gingerbread house or just silly life moments like forgetting to get your kid out of time out!

7. Things I Can’t Say- This is by Shell and she is pretty FABULOUS!! Plus, she makes me jealous with her beach front house!! :)

Alrighty! I hope you go check them out! They really are great! I follow quite a few blogs and it’s hard to pick just a few! In my book, you all deserve an award so feel free to grab it and say I gave it to you because I think you are all Fabulous!!

Additional responsibility includes nominating seven blogs for this award. And, once you receive this award, the rules are as follows:
1) Add the logo of the award to your blog.
2) Add a link to the person who awarded it to you (as shown above).
3) Nominate at least seven other blogs.
4) Add links to those blogs on your blog.
5) Leave a message for your nominees on their blogs.

Well, after a dose of blogging, toast and milk, I think I am ready to try to sleep again. Hopefully the toast and milk pushed down all that pesky acid so I can sleep! Why not Tums you ask? 1-I don’t have any and 2-I like toast and milk hmmm….Plus, I don’t think I reached my calorie quota for the day with that lunch of cookies today…

What I meant to say….

 

Come join the fun at Chief's!

What I said to the Universe: “I will be more positive and happy in spite of what may be going on in my life…”

What I meant to say: “No, I’m fine being pessimistic, bitter and angry. I don’t need my car to break down, run out of money, be told I need to buy glasses and wear them more because I am damaging my eyes and need to give my eyes more rest from contacts. I don’t need tests or trials to ‘practice’ my positive outlook. I’m fine. I swear. I really have no more potential than this. I promise.

What I said to the eye Dr: Can I please have a trial pair of contacts? These ones are uncomfortable and my glasses won’t be ready for at least a week.

What I meant to say: I’M GOING TO RIP MY EYES OUT IF YOU DON’T GIVE ME SOMETHING MORE COMFORTABLE TO WEAR THIS INSTANT!!! I MAY EVEN KILL SMALL ANIMALS BECAUSE I AM GOING CRAZY WITH THESE CONTACTS! IF YOU DON’T GIVE ME SOME, I MAY JUST USE YOUR PEN TO DIG OUT MY EYES FROM MY OCULARE CAVITY!!!

*ahem*

What I said in my intro in Film class about what I expect from the class: “I’m looking forward to learning more about the artistry and language of film.”

What I meant to say: We watch movies?! *giggling like small school girl* AWESOME!! We’re really watching Kung Fu Panda?! *more giggling* Oh, there’s Scarlett Johansen’s butt….*giggle giggle* Is this rated R??? *giggle* Where’s the popcorn? Can I get  Jumbo Diet Coke, too? *giggle* I love college *giggle giggle*

What do you have to say???

Post-It fun!!

It’s that time again! Supah’s hosting Post-it’s and I just love being apart of it! Go check her out and other the other Post-It’s there’s some great ones!

Try it yourself! Just click on the Post It above! :)

 

 

  

  

 

Confess…

One of my BFFs does a Friday Confessional on her blog and today, Glamazon, decided to make it a party, so of course, I wanted to join in! I even brought hummus!! Hmmmm…hummus….

Come join the fun over here!!

I feel like I have confessed way too much so much to you guys already but here we go:

I confess:

• I love to watch cartoons with my kids.
• I think I may have seen every episode of SpongeBob there is.
• I have a crush on Patrick Starfish.
• I think it’s the deep baritone voice of his.
• And the fact I’m smarter than him.
• I hope…
• I also think Phineas and Ferb is a hilarious show!
• The fact that they are brothers but one has an American accent and the other a British accent=Brilliantly funny!!
• And a pet platypus spy that goes about foiling evil, diabolical plans=Genius.
• To think that when I was growing up all I had was a cat and mouse chasing each other or little blue people who lived in mushrooms.
• These shows make more sense to me than the educational ones.
• I mean, where the hell are Dora’s parents?! “See you, honey! Have fun in the jungle! Watch out for that Grumpy Old Troll and the snakes!”
• I woke up one morning to a song on a TV show about dinosaurs that was about dinosaurs’ poop.
• I’m so not kidding.
• A sponge living in a pineapple who is BFFs with a starfish and a squirrel who lives in a bubble at the bottom of the sea, works at the local crabby patty joint, has a pet snail and has to watch out for a diabolical plankton makes complete sense.
• So does a pet platypus who just happens to be a very skilled spy.
• Hey, at least their parents aren’t letting them wander aimlessly through a jungle with their BFF who just happens to be a monkey!
• Don’t they know those monkeys fling poo, whether or not they wear freakin boots!?
• Gotta go, I’ve got a whole DVR full of cartoons to catch up on before the kids get home from school!

Pinch me, I’m dreamin’!

This is too good to be true!

I have died on gone to heaven!!

As many of you know, I am going to college. For those of you who are new around here (welcome!! I hope you stay a while!!), I decided to go back to school and work towards my degree in English that I put on the back burner while I was busy multiplying and replenishing the earth. While I am still in the trenches of rearing my multiplications, I have jumped back into higher education with full force.

My plan is to finish my Associates degree, move on to a university when more of my children are in school and eventually complete my Bachelors. At the rate I’m going, that won’t be till my 40s but lots of people go to college for 20 years…right?!

If  the college I am attending will accept some transfer credits, I will be finished with the first part this semester. Yippee!!

Why, you may ask, would I say I’m in heaven? I‘ll tell you in a long winded sort of way.

I grew up on movies. My dad was a junkie and he turned us all into fellow junkies. He would get 16mm movies and a projector (yes, I remember a time even before VHS and BETA…back off!!) from the library and we’d watch “King Kong” “Godzilla” “Teeny Tiny and the Witch Woman”(a true classic) on our living room wall. We would often hit the theater for the latest and greatest-“Star Wars”, “Indiana Jones”, “Invaders From Space”, “Poltergeist” and “Changeling”. Those last few had me up with nightmares for decades months but one of the jobs of being a parent is permanently scarring your children, right?

From my dad, I inherited my obsession love of movies. I even worked at a video store and took it upon myself to see as many movies as I possibly could (except the ones guys would come in to rent in the middle of the day and bring them back 2 hours later….ew) so I can tell the customers what was good and what to avoid. I also worked at a theater where I watched movies over and over(read more about that here) I think I saw “Braveheart” 34.5 times while it was showing. Oh, those were the days……

One of my required classes that I am taking this semester is Film and Culture. Yes, it’s a class I HAVE TO take. *sigh* It’s gonna be so painful. Guess what we do.

We watch movies. And talk about ‘em.

Our first lecture involved “Avatar”, “Star Wars”, and “JAWS”.

And I get college credit.

We even have field trips to, you guessed it, THE MOVIES!!!!

Yes, I am in heaven.

I wonder if I’ll get extra credit if I buy popcorn….

What I meant to say…Idiot edition

Chief basically rocks and she came up with this great idea!

Basically you say what you said in a situation and then what you really meant or wanted to say after. We are among friends so say what you will!

What I said to my child’s teacher: I need to change my volunteering schedule because of my schooling. What works best for you?

What I meant to say: Please don’t make me volunteer! I have so many books to read and movies to watch so much homework and housework to do I just don’t have time to come sit in the corner and have kids ask me to do their work for them. Plus, I feel really weird coming in with my necessary ginormous Diet Coke and a cookie the size of my head, the kids stare.

This next one happened a while ago. We stayed in a hotel in downtown Salt Lake City way out of our price/class/proper etiquette range for a wedding anniversary a few years ago. We were in the elevator going to find a place to have a romantical dinner when this very very tall African American man got in the elevator. Me, being the idiot I was born to be opened my big fat mouth and said:

“Wow! You’re tall! Do you happen to be a basketball player?!”

Tall Dude(probably thinking, oh here we go again, another dumbass..): “Well, I’m an assistant coach for the Denver Nuggets.”(Let it be noted, he was wearing  Denver Nuggets T-shirt.)

Me: “Oh, cool! So, what are you doing on your visit to Salt Lake?”

TD: “Uuuummmm….we have a game against the (UTAH!!!)Jazz tonight….”(Let it also be noted, my husband keeps shrinking smaller and smaller into the corner of the elevator, probably thinking shutupshutupshutupshtup!!!!!)

Me: “Awesome! Well, good luck tonight!”

TD: “Thanks.”

What I really meant to say: “Nice night, huh?!”

Now go visit Chief and get in on the fun! And don’t talk to strangers in the elevator!!

Stickie Tuesday

Hosted by Supah! Come join the fun just click here:

 

 

 

Happy Tuesday!

A moment with Mindi’s thoughts…Calm down it’s only a moment!

Don’t you just hate it when you run out of clean socks?! Although, these are a hot number, I have to say…

 

See this blonde piece of cuteness? Well, she loves that hat! If she see’s it, it is on her head. It has even gone  to church with us! Some days, this is all she is wearing! With this sudden desire to potty train, she is in constant nudist mode and it’s really cute but we’ve had an incident of peeing on the table, yes, ON the table, pooping on the kitchen floor and embarrassment at answering our door since the visitor’s first sight is a neked little girl on the stairs!

She has become obsessed with bodily functions, too! Whenever I do a ginormous belch dainty little hiccup or (I don’t really fart, ladies don’t do that so this is completely hypothetical) fart, she giggles and then says “coos me”.  Now, whenever she sits on the potty and is successful she says, “I did it, YAY!!” I’ve never cheered so much for urine in all my life! I’m worried she will still want an audience and cheering when she’s 17. I know I did! The last thing is “moogers”. She is in to wiping her nose with a tissue (better than my shirt, I always say) and if there is something on it she immediately shows me and says, “Ook, mugger, YAY!”

I had no idea these gross things deserved admiration but whatever makes my 2 year old happy.

Another side effect of potty training is half-used diapers and panties being found all over the house as we attempt to keep her covered up. At this moment there is a pair of panties on my kitchen table. If I didn’t know any better I would think ElRey had some serious explaining to do, although, I don’t think I can blame the diapers on him…I hope…

One final thought. All this time I thought my house was a mess because Mama’s going to college. Turns out Mama’s just a crappy house keeper. Deal with it.

What I meant to say...

Chief started something fun! Click on the note to check it out!

To my children I say: “It’s time for bed!”

What I meant to say: “If you people don’t get in bed right now, I will hang you from the rafters from your atomic wedgie and laugh at you while I eat a cookie! And take pictures.”

To the personal trainer I say: “Give me your best! I can take it!”

What I meant to say(2 days later): Listen here, tall piece of eye candy! I can’t move, you overgrown piece of muscle! I think you broke my butt! And I do not look like that computer generated cow you say is me, thank you very much!

To my new Primary class at church I say: I’m so excited to be your teacher and I love all this 4 year old energy you all (7!!) have!!

What I meant to say: If I have to do this one more year, I may stick a knitting needle in my eye and grow a fondness for tequila! No, I am not sharing the snacks-you are too naughty to have a cookie! I do have a yummy candy for you-it’s called Ambien…isn’t that yummy?!

Whenever I say: “I’m going to bed.”

What I meant to say: “I’m going to check out Facebook, maybe chat awhile, read some blogs, take an ungodly amount of time in the bathroom, read a book for a while AND THEN maybe go to sleep…..maybe…

I hope you enjoyed this edition of “What I meant to say! Thanks, Chiefy-poo! That was fun!

Post It Fun!

 

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And on the 8th day, God created school so mommies wouldn’t go totally postal!!

I love my children, I really do. They light my soul when they give me a smile, giggle or an “I love you”. But I am downright giddy when they go to school! In fact, I look like this when they leave:

I realize I just barely used this picture but I am not afraid to use a picture more than once, if it gets a point across. Now, that is one happy lady!

Here are some top reasons for me being grateful for school being back in session after the Christmas break:

• Being a constant “Cruise Director” requires an addiction to more than just diet soda. You need some serious heavy duty stuff that I am just not willing to start up on, yet.
• Thanks to my hubby tackling the wash over the weekend, I had a mountain of laundry to fold that would make a professional laundress cry! It was impossible to tackle it while being the “Cruise Director”.
• I have a pile of BBC films that I am in the mood to watch and staying up till 1am to do so has not done me any favors!
• I have a 2 year old who has decided it was time to pee pee in the potty so it is my job to remind her to do so. I have a hard time reminding myself, let alone a child who I can barely understand most of the time! It’s hard to do that when you are running all over trying to keep the other children from beating the crap out of each other!
• My middle child (those 3 words explain so much!) Decided that after we finally got her bangs grown out, now would be a good time to cut herself some! While I was able to fix them enough that she doesn’t look like an idiot, I am royally pissed off about the whole thing and it’s best if I get a few hours of not having to look at her, as cute as she is.
• I decided to make a few “lifestyle changes” that are very difficult for me so it’s best that others aren’t around to see me huddled in the corner in the fetal position sucking my thumb and holding my woobie!
• My school starts next week and I needed to have a semblance of a vacation before jumping back into that black hole!

I know there many women out there who are sad to see their wee ones go off to school. Boy howdy, not me! While I want my kids to be safe and secure I’m totally fine with an underpaid teacher to do all the work for me! At least for now! I mean, I went to public school and look how well I turned out:

Totally happy and well adjusted. My kids will be just fine, right?!