I am a dainty flower

I have to start by saying a HUGE sorry for my last post! I was writing it to be funny but it just came off as whiny! There are so many out there that have husbands that work far from home on long business trips, being called up for duty in various armed forces or no spouse at all. I didn’t mean to make it sound like my life was so rough. I was just being silly about my semi-lonely week but it was just whiny. My week was long but really fine!  Please forgive me! That’s what Jesus would do!

So, growing up with 5 brothers, I’ve never totally figured out how to be a girl. I loved frilly dresses as a little girl (I took up clogging just for the fluffy skirts) and my friend, Jessica and I played some serious Barbies well into middle school. But I have never had a real keen fashion sense, known how to do makeup or how to do my hair. It has just been a recent phenomenon that I have even bothered doing my hair, well at least blow drying it and such. I still have not bought hairspray in my 32 years. I am most comfortable in a T-shirt and jeans, flip-flops and windblown hair. A girl I used to work with used to call me ‘the truck driver’ or ‘bohemian’. I didn’t like her much.

I watch TLC’s What Not To Wear on a regular basis, wishing I could be on it so professionals could help me in my plight of non-girlness. I often wonder, though if I would actually stick to it. I have been given makeovers and they don’t stick. Barbara Streisand said it best in The Mirror Has Two Faces, “It’s just me in color.” And I am very comfortable with my T-shirt and jeans. Whenever I try to get more stylish things or just more girly I feel like one of those hippos in a tutu on Disney’s Fantasia!

My oldest daughter was born with more girl genes than I have in my right leg. I have no idea what I am going to do when she wants will be allowed to wear makeup. We can’t even go shopping together because what she thinks is appropriate for a 7 year old is very different from what I think is appropriate. She usually likes what I buy her so I try to do it by myself so we don’t butt heads.

I have also started something with my girls that sometimes I regret. I don’t allow sleeveless anything or short shorts or skirts. I feel I need a jumpstart on the modesty issue so later when it becomes a bigger issue we already have the ground rules and hopefully stick to them. Do I have a problem with little girls in tank tops and such? No, not at all! I just make sure my kids aren’t wearing them so when modesty is a bigger issue later, we won’t have to make huge wardrobe changes. So now my girls think anything sleeveless is immodest and wrong. Which is not what I intended but I am trying to deal with it. She has already complained about friends being allowed to wear tank tops and sleeveless dresses. A nice preview of what’s to come down the road, I am sure.

Anyway, she found a tank top the other day, we have a couple for undershirts, and these really short shorts that I would never let her wear in public-they are for under skirts and such. It was interesting to see the change in her. It was almost like she felt ‘sexy’ for lack of a better word. She moved differently, talked differently and acted differently. I started to wonder if I had done a bad thing by not allowing them. Suddenly, this tank top and shorter shorts, which are really no big deal, it’s not like they said ‘sexpot’ across the chest or butt, became something more to my little girl. They made her feel more attractive or girly. Is that instinctual or something? I remember having this denim skirt that was probably shorter than my mom was comfortable with and I walked around in that thing like I was all that and a bag of chips! Watching my girl change just from changing her clothes freaked me out! I really don’t know how to do it, which is probably why I started now. I am hoping it will make it all that much easier later in my girls’ life to be modest.

So my whole point is, am I very girly? No, but I am a dainty flower and to prove it and I wanted to show you my Homecoming and Prom pictures from high school.

          Homecoming with Russ Phillips. Note the peach dress (I think I had to wear a special bra for it) and the ginormo white bow and nice puffy sleeves! There are my acrylic nails and lip gloss in my hand!

Prom with Steve Goff. Check out his arm candy! That is some big hair, girl! I am pretty sure there are fake nails and lip gloss in hand.

Here is proof that there is a little girlishness in my body! So, even if I am not equipped to raise girls into women, maybe I can balance them out so they aren’t girlzillas! Especially my little redheaded diva!

Suffering, Thy Name is Mindi

I haven’t exercised in over a week. I am so tired I can’t see straight. I wonder if it’s my thyroid. Or maybe it’s the fact I haven’t gone to bed before midnight in I don’t even know how long! My pants seem to be getting tighter.

Sunday, I went to another ward to hear ElRey speak (high council Sunday). As I sat there wrestling my children, I thought why do we wear skirts to church and how do you be lady like in a wrestling match? I felt like there was a giant spot light on me since no one knew who I was so they were wondering if I was new and if they should bother saying ‘hi’ to me, and then they started wondering, why can’t she control her kids! I gave up after ElRey finished, traveling the whole church with 3 kids looking for the bathroom, coming back and having my children climbing under and over pews. I gathered up our stuff and told the girls we were leaving. Annie wasn’t moving as fast us the rest of us and as we walked down the aisle with that stupid spot light following us, she yelled (yes, I said yelled), “Guys, wait for me!!” When we got to the chapel door she then hollered, “Mom, you’re so rude!” Yes, the spot light was still on.

ElRey left me for a hoard of teenage girls. Yes, it’s girl’s camp this week and he happens to be the high councilman over young women’s so he is gone all week. Not only did he leave me alone and outnumbered, he left me with the little Honda from the 1980s, with no AC right when it turned into summer. Course, it’s better than when it was hurricane season since every time it rained the sunroof leaked. The car seats are so close together the girls cannot buckle themselves so I end up having a sweat fest getting everyone in and secure but can’t blast myself after with that blessed arctic chill we call air conditioning.

The other night I went to Wal-Mart real quick to pick up a baby gift and some milk. I got the baby gift, forgot the milk, but loaded up on Diet Coke. I believe in living on the barest of essentials. I stopped at the McDonald’s to get my kids a nutritious meal. The lady charged me for 4 happy Meals when I ordered 3. She seemed really put out by the fact I wanted my 3 bucks back. I realized after that trip, I won’t be going out much this week.

Luckily, I have the best sister-in-law and friends in the world! My SIL came over the other night (thanks, Noraleen!!) while I went to dinner with some of my BFFs and enjoyed a Word of Wisdom questionable meal at Famous Dave’s (meat with a side of meat and pecan pie ((thanks for the pie, Brooke’s Mom!!)){choir of angels singing}). Another day those BFFs dragged me out of my house for some fresh air, water, friends and food.

ElRey called me from camp to tell me how incredibly awesome I am and how lucky he is to have me. That was awesome! Totally worth it!

I also just found out that I was given 2 grants for school for both Fall and Spring semesters! It will cover it all and I won’t have to pay it back later! Free money totally rocks! I can’t wait!

So I guess things aren’t that bad. *sigh* I’d still be alright if you brought me brownies because you felt sorry for me, though…

It’s easy to sit here and think how hard it is to do this alone. But then I am reminded over and over again that I am most certainly not alone! So, thanks to everyone who keeps checking on me and getting me out, even if I have to drive a horse and buggy from the 80s.

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The comments from my last post were awesome! Thanks, guys! If you haven’t left your opinion on the matter, feel free here! I think everyone gave great ideas! I guess it basically comes down to your personal relationship with God and keeping him involved. If He is on board with what you are doing, who cares if Deseret Book kicks your work of the shelves or what not! You know where you stand with The Almighty and that’s all that matters! Hopefully we can all keep that in mind in everything we do! Amy brought up the 13th Article of Faith (We believe in being honest, true, chaste, benevolent, virtuous, and in doing good to all men; indeed, we may say that we follow the admonition of Paul—We believe all things, we hope all things, we have endured many things, and hope to be able to endure all things. If there is anything virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy, we seek after these things.) which is always a great rule of thumb and Melanie said a good way to judge is would you want your kids to read/watch it some day, or parents for that matter!

Elizabeth Gilbert (author of Eat, Pray, Love) has a great  speech (discourse? seminar?) on Youtube about creativity, which if you have a creative bone in your body, this will make your palms sweat, seriously! You can check that out here. It’s 20 minutes but it is awesome! President Uchtdorf also gave a great talk on creativity recently. Read that here. Don’t be afraid of listening to your voices! :)

Mom’s hearing voices again!

My husband and I had an interesting discussion the other day. I wanted to put it out there and see what you all thought.

I believe everyone has a  voice they hear, which we will call a Muse so we don’t all sound crazy,whether it be in writing, music, acting or painting. I think even if it’s not one of those it can be in organizing and cleaning, numbers, business or even discovering Pluto isn’t a planet. We all have a need to listen to that Muse and follow it. Some may ignore it which causes depression, alcoholism, and drug abuse-or just overeating and watching sitcom reruns. For the sake of this post I will be talking about the more creative or artistic Muses and those who try to listen(although organizing is an art that I will never hear the Muse of).

JK Rowling heard the voice of an 11 year old wizard who discovers he is “The Chosen One”. George Lucas heard the voices of Jedis on both the dark and light sides of The Force (he even heard the voice of that Jar-Jar Binks embarrassment!). Stephanie Meyer listened to a vegetarian vampire and Native American werewolf. Shannon Hale recently heard the voice of a Mormon housewife who becomes BFF with a big time movie star. Not only did these people hear these voices, or Muses, they put it down on paper and/or the big screen for us all to enjoy.

A friend of mine has been working on an awesome yet tragic short story which I have had the pleasure of reading (I am so excited for when she is rich and famous so my bragging of our friendship will be even cooler!). It truly is an excellent piece of work. She was telling me this was the first time she had heard the voices of these characters and knew them as though they were real. One of those characters happens to have a mouth of a sailor on him which she struggled with but went with it saying, “I guess Deseret Book won’t be publishing me”! I for one didn’t have a problem with the language, there really isn’t much but it seems necessary for this character who is an angry teenage boy. Usually, angry teenage boys don’t go around saying, “Darn it, that stupidhead!” when someone wrongs them. That does not ring true, in my opinion.

So, one day I was telling my Luveykins about her story and I asked him, “Being Mormon, where is that moral line that you shouldn’t cross in your work/craft because of what you know and have been taught?” Granted, with my friend’s story, it’s just some cuss words that we all know we shouldn’t say and I am sure she doesn’t use them in her daily life, but the character she created does. Again, no big deal to me. But then I watch a certain actor(s) who takes roles in movies doing and saying things no good Temple recommend carrying young man should do. It is proven time and time again that you cannot be a big time movie star and a ‘card holding Mormon’. Not with sex scenes and doing other things that make the movie rated-R, which, technically we shouldn’t be watching, right? Am I making sense?

So where is the line between my friend and Bro. Sleeps With Actresses?

Sister Meyer was taken of the shelves of Deseret Book so you have to special order them because of all the complaints from customers. About what, really? Because she wrote about Vampires? Or is it the sexually charged teenagers who abstain but get a little hot and heavy? By the way, these are probably the some of the same people who think Star Wars and Harry Potter are about the Plan(which, they totally are)!

Do writers singers and painters that happen to belong to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints have to stick to only using the Gospel as their Muse? Can you not be Mormon and be successful in the arts in all circles not just Mormon circles?

ElRey brought up another really good point. His dream is to one day own a restaurant. The type of restaurant he wants to do would typically serve alcohol. Does he provide it and let his customer make the choice or is it wrong to even have to buy and if that’s the case, what about the grocery stores owned by members of the Church who sell beer?

So, how do you follow your Muse but not cross that moral line? There are some who balance it all really well, like Shannon Hale (my secret BFF, she doesn’t know, yet..only cuz she won’t answer all my emails…maybe I should call her…), she keeps it clean but she also has fun and it feels real, not censored. But not everyone would have the same ideas, obviously.

I know the ability to write, sing paint etc, etc, all come from God and He wants us to use them, strengthen them and can even guide us in the direction to go. How do you know when you have gone too far and left Him and your morals behind? When is it that you take over and push Him out? Can you even tell? Did I make any sense?

……Aaaand…DISCUSS!!

Luckiest girl in the World

It’s true. I really am. And for so many reasons! But today I am talking about 2 specific reasons.

First, I am daughter to this guy!

His name is Dave Thomas! No, not the comedian and not the founder of Wendy’s. This one is better! This is Dr. Thomas, professor, Institute Teacher, Elvis impersonator, published writer and genius we all love!

He may not know how to work a microwave but he adores my mom and gave us all an awesome childhood of adventures, classic movies and laughter. He’s even ran two marathons and to the top of Masada up the Serpentine Trail (the tour guide was very upset with him!)!

Not only has he seen the world, he has learned about each place and could tell you all about it as though he was a local. He even survived  Hurricane Wilma in the Yucatan back in 2005.

Here is a tribute to my daddy I wrote last fall for my writing class:

Daddy

Daddy, you have always been there,

I was never turned away.

You gave me all I need

And continue every day.

You taught me to ride my bike,

How a boy should treat a girl,

You kept me safe from danger,

And fought it even when

The danger was your little girl.

You showed me there were

No dragons out there,

You introduced me to Presidents

Made of stone

And a real live Indian

Who told us of his home.

The movies were our favorite

From aliens and ghosts to Indy.

Even now I’m sure those ghosts,

Clowns and wheelchairs

Are all after Mindi.

Daddy, you paved my path

You made me want to learn

The great goal of knowledge

For which I always yearn.

You made me want more

Then just the ABC’s.

I’m Lucky in Love with

A man just like you,

He’s sensitive, sweet and loving.

The only difference is he

Knows how to use the tools.

He is teaching our girls

How to ride a bike,

How a boy should treat a girl.

He keeps them safe from danger,

Even when the danger is your little girl.

Because you taught me love

And determination and strength,

I know I can make it through

Any challenge that I face.

I know that I am strong

Because I came from you.

So, the second thing I am lucky to have is my love for my kids’ daddy! This guy:

He is the best dad my girls will ever have! He is hard working, loving, kind and fun(ny)!! I am so glad I duped him into thinking he was marrying a catch! MWAHAHAHA!! Now he has to stick around for the sake of our girls!! He works so hard to make it so mom can be home and slowly give the children plenty of mental issues to share with their therapists!

Because of my dad’s awesome example I got this:

And I will gladly share him with our daughters!

Happy Father’s Day to the greatest guys in my life!!

That Tooth Fairy is a Drunk!

I don’t know what I did to that tutu wearing, glittery flyin’ drunk but she is taking it out on my kid!

The first time I noticed something was amiss, she forgot to come. Audrey was very upset. She did show up the next night with a note filled with some sob story about the sniffles and some such nonsense.

The next time Audrey got up at 6:00 wondering where her loot was. I told her she got up too early and maybe that fairy may not have had a chance to get here since Audrey lost her tooth so late the night before. Audrey checked again after that and she finally made it with a buck. In the lady’s defense, Audrey did wake up very early!

Audrey then told me that this schizophrenic fairy was giving her friend prizes instead of money! Why doesn’t she give the same thing to every kid??? I mean, who wants money?!? What is her problem!?!?

Last night, Audrey lost another tooth (when will we be done with this???) and I heard her and Annie whispering that the Tooth Fairy hadn’t come yet and they kept checking thinking that maybe they got up too early again. Come to find out, they didn’t get up too early, she was just really late! You know what her excuse was??? “I got stuck in Russia!”

Sure…..we all know what that really means! She was swimming in vodka! What a drunk!

Having the mind of a 9-year-old boy makes it difficult to have adult conversation!

I confess. I really do have a mind of a 9-year-old boy. I think SpongeBob is hilarious (I {heart} Patrick Star!!), a man dressed in drag with hairy legs is genius, and poo poo pee pee will always be funny. And farts. Oh, and a good belch. The word butt is awesome, too!

I have come to realize I am not the best candidate to teach my girls how to be ladies.

I spent the day at my mom’s house today as my brother’s family is in town. The cousins were all downstairs laughing hysterically at the word ‘butt’. I totally understand. My SIL’s sister said her daughter is loving it because she isn’t allowed to say ‘butt’ at her home. My kids watch a cartoon where a character says “I’m gonna kick your butt!” about 30 times in 15 minutes.

The word ‘fart’ is not preferred at my friend’s house. I say ‘fart-knocker’ on a regular basis. My brother started a website about love and you can submit what you think love is. I sent in “Love is when you still love someone in spite of all their farts…I mean faults…” I was censored. I was offended. He told me not everyone cares for that word. I don’t get it.

Tonight, before I left my mom’s the girls were, once again, enjoying the word ‘butt’. My SIL said, “What is so funny about that word, girls?” I looked at her and said, “I think it’s a gem! It always gets a laugh!”

Of course, this is coming from a girl whose brother gave his first talk in primary by grabbing  the microphone and saying, “POO POO PEE PEE!!”

That would’ve brought a tear to my eye if I was the Primary President.

Camping aka Running Through God’s Sprinklers

I just spent around $40 to go sleep outside during a torrential downpour with thunder and lightening added just for fun! There is a word that comes to mind-dumbass. Yes, I am sorry but that is the only word for it so we will all have to accept it and move on.

It was actually great until about 9pm Friday night. The kids were having a great time, we had an awesome dinner with our friends, the Roskelley’s (have you seen her glamour shots?? Totally hot!!) who came camping with us. We were just getting the kids into bed to enjoy some quiet time (and a few more s’mores) when I started feeling raindrops. I threw everything in our car just in time before we got dumped on!

But before we get to that excitement, let me take you on a tour of our little paradise. We went to the Timpooneke campground up American Fork Canyon. It really was beautiful and the campsites were nicely spaced so it didn’t feel like you were sleeping with strangers, unless you like that sort of thing, to each his own.

They had this great, built-in ‘time-out’ cage:

Which doubled as a giant playpen! Naughty or nice, it was great to have!

There was even a lovely bathtub where you could get nice and fresh!

There was some yummy watermelon,

 

And some wicked hot dog roasting!

The kids had a secret campout hideout.

And the campground came with it’s own Queen of the Camp!

We had the trail right by us for a nice, peaceful walk. That blanket was black with mud and water by the time we left! It got dragged everywhere!

We even enjoyed a little hellfire,

And damnation! (They may look like angels but underneath…Mwhahaaa!!)

Funny story about the vaulted toilets: I took Audrey and Erin to the bathroom during a small dry spell just before bed. After Erin went she said, “I was scared of that toilet at first, it’s just a big hole. But I’m not scared of it anymore!” To which Audrey replied,” I like it because it gives my bum some fresh air!” Nothing like a nice breeze on your toushy!

So, back to the joys of rain in the mountains…It rained all night! The kids did pretty good considering but our tent leaked and all the sleeping bags were wet, Annie decided she needed to go #2 in the middle of the night(then didn’t after ElRey drove her to the toilet) and she woke up bawling the next morning wanting to go. Lily stood at our van, slapping the door saying, “Go! Go! Go!”

The next morning I was talking to ElRey and Jeff (Roskelley) about how awful the night was-I don’t think ElRey or I slept more than an hour that night-when Jeff said, “I didn’t think it was the bad!” Come to find out later, he slept IN THE VAN!! BY! HIMSELF!!! Man, are we wimps! Not being able to sleep through all that!!

I feel bad that it was a little traumatic for the kids but both Audrey and Annie said they wanted to go again. They were just asking me this morning when we will be going again! I am glad they aren’t scarred for life!

Needless to say, this was how everyone was feeling on Saturday:

       

Can’t wait for the next trip! Maybe this time we will wait till summer…oh wait, it is summer…I forgot…I couldn’t tell through all the DAMN(grateful for it!!) rain!!

Obsession

I have an obsession. I know what you are thinking and, no, i am not talking about Diet Coke. Not this time, anyway.

I have had many obsessions throughout my life. I was once obsessed with seeing every movie I possibly could (within reason, of course). I get a little crazed if I know there is a treat in my house. I think of nothing else till it’s gone. Usually in my own gullet.

Mel Gibson was once a victim of my obsession. I had a huge cardboard cut out of his head and a Braveheart poster on my wall. I woke up every morning to his bright blue eyes staring at me.

Until one day I met my own Mel Gibson. But this one didn’t smoke cigars or throw out racial slurs during a DUI. This one drove two hours just to take me out on a date. This one asked me out again even though I probably ate too much and wouldn’t shut up. ElRey completed me in a way on one else ever had and I am sure never will.

But this isn’t even about that obsession (I know, I have a lot!) I am getting there.

I was knee deep in college courses at the time and was loving writing. I have always loved to write. In fact, in elementary school I tried to write my first novel titled, “Daddy’s Little Girl”. It was a scary story and I had already drawn a cover for it. Needless, to say I didn’t get very far in that novel.

Back to my time in college, I was writing a lot and my friend Laurie and I would get together in the student center and share our work and deep conversation. I. Loved. It.

Then came ElRey. I wrote him a poem. It made him cry. It was one of the last ones I wrote for a long time. Sure, I wrote stuff in my journal from time to time but I wasn't paying attention to my need to write as much. He became my obsession. Making him happy, loving him, doing married people things {blush}, wondering when to start a family.

ElRey like to show the poem to other people and one day he shared it with his friend. This friend asked me if I was still writing and I said no, that I couldn’t think of anything to write and wasn’t taking the time to figure it out. His response, “Huh, I would think you would have a lot to write about, being in love and all.”

I couldn’t figure it out then. In fact, I wondered what was wrong with me-there really was a lot to write about but I wasn’t doing anything about it. I wasn't taking the time.

I have recently come to realize something, though. ElRey, our love and later our family became my poetry, of sorts, my writing, my craft. I’m not saying I am any good at it but I didn’t write it, I was living it. It was the deep discussion over an awesome dinner or sitting under the stars on a Floridian beach. It was giving birth to three beautiful girls and living through it. There was laughter that took our breath away. There wasn’t time to write it down!

The old/new obsession came(back) last fall when two things happened. I went back to school with my one literature class and I started a blog.

The class pushed me out of my comfort zone and re-introduced me to my love of literature and writing. It gave me structure and things to write about. It flexed my creative muscles that were sore from little use.

My blog had given me an outlet I didn’t realize I needed. It gave me an opportunity to express myself and put myself out there. Come to find out, people seemed to like what I was putting down and it fueled the flames that were building in my soul (oh, now that’s poetic!). I wanted to do more.

I started losing sleep over it, my house, children and husband were neglected. There are times when my sink is so full of dishes I can’t even fill my glass from the tap. I have even wanted to pass up social events to stay home and come up with something brilliant.

Somehow I have never forgotten to eat, though. Go figure.

In her book, Writing Down the Bones, Natalie Goldberg said,

“We are run by our compulsions. Maybe it’s just me. but it seems that obsessions have power. Harness that power. I know most of my writing friends are obsessed with writing. It works the same way as chocolate does. We’re always thing we should be writing no matter what else we might be doing. It’s not fun. The life of an artist isn’t easy. you’re never free unless you are doing your art. But I guess doing art is better than drinking a lot or filling up with chocolate. I often wonder if all the writers who are alcoholics drink a lot because they aren’t writing or are having trouble writing. It is not because they are writers that they drinking, but they are writers who are not writing.” (p43)

Although I am not a drunk(yet), I get what she is saying. I feel like I should be sitting in the corner of some cafe, drinking too much coffee, going from cigarette to cigarette, writing in a tattered notebook.

But here I am, sitting in my kitchen, going from cookie to cookie, Diet Coke to Diet Coke, writing crap until every now and then a small masterpiece comes alive (okay, over-exaggerate, much?)

I don’t even know if I can actually call myself a writer. I try to say it out loud but then I feel like I’ve just called myself a horse when all I really am is a jack ass.

My readers have gone up recently on here and I am humbled, awed and grateful. I am also panicking. I want you to keep coming back. I want you to tell your friends but then I think, what if I let them down and bore them to death??

I am trying to listen to that voice in my head, not the one the Dr. said I should ignore but the other one that tells me an idea over and over till I finally write it down. Sometimes (a lot of times??) I try too hard and then I am embarrassed by what I put out. So forgive me for those ones and please come back! I just might have a winner next time!

Long Live The Queen

I have two thrones in my life. A Queen needs a good place to sit, you know? My first one is a recent one. My baby office chair. Okay, so it’s not so much a baby.

It’s ginormous! It is the center, left , right, front -piece of my kitchen/office. I could and would take a nap in it if everyone would just shut their pie-holes for two seconds!  I even sit in it for dinnertime. I am the Queen of my castle in that sweet leathery goodness. I can wheel around in it to get a drink, grab something out of the oven or maybe, just maybe do the dishes. It’s that good. I may never have to get up again.

My other throne has been with me for much longer. No matter where I live it is with me.

Of course, it has it’s all important responsibility that I won’t go into but it also has it’s perks and advantages beyond that. I may not even need it for it’s primary function but I say “I need to use the bathroom” and I can be in there all by myself and ponder life’s biggest questions or catch up on my Prevention magazine or that all important celebrity gossip.

I especially used this technique on my mission. It’s the only time you don’t have to be with your companion and I took full advantage of that. One home I lived in, the lady hosting us was way into Young Women’s and in our bathroom, right at eye level when you sat on the toilet, was the Young Women’s theme. Let’s just say I had that thing memorized again after a week of living there.

It has also come in handy here in my realm of motherhood. Sure, the Queen’s subjects may be sticking their fingers under the door saying “Mom, mom, mom, mom” or they may come in wanting to sit on my lap. They may even come in demanding milk and crackers while the King is sitting on the couch. Sometimes they come in needing my assistance in solving their serious disputes (“she took my place”, “she hit me”, “it’s not fair she gets to play with a friend/had an ice cream/was born first”, you know, the really important issues of today!). But in spite of all that, it is still the place I go for solace and although I may not always get to fully leave the war council of motherhood, you can’t really blame me for trying.

Maybe I should try locking the door.

Is there somewhere you like to hide? Or do you have a comfort spot in your home?

Did I ever tell you….

I like sandwiches. But who doesn’t? I mean they are the perfect, balanced, hold in your hand yumminess ever!

I brush my teeth with hot water! Sometimes I forget not everyone does this and I will get my kids toothbrush ready and they yell out, “Ouch, that’s hot, mom!”

I once listened to a book on tape read by Michael Beck-you know, the ‘hottie’ in Xanadu? I don’t really know why he was chosen for the job but I don’t even remember the book. I only remember it was read by the dude in short shorts roller-skating to ELO music in one of the best movies EVER!!

I often worry about how many spiders I eat in my sleep and if a bug has laid eggs in my orifices.

I want Jim Dale to read me a story every night before bed time. I really think the Church should get him to read the scriptures on CD. Not only would sales of those go up but people would actually listen to them AND he may even do different voices for each character! I am pretty sure Nephi has an English accent. Then when he was done reading I would have him try to say Passamaquaddy for old times sake. That would be fun.

When I was a kid I would sleep in the clothes I was going to wear the next day, over my covers, so I wouldn’t have to get dressed in the morning or make my bed. Yes, I am that lazy.

In kindergarten, Chris White had a crush on me. He would chase me all over the playground and I loved it. One day I went a little overboard in my foreplay and pushed him. He fell flat on his butt! He didn’t talk to me after that. Our love was over. Rejection is a bitter pill to swallow.

Raindrops

Here is a video of our afternoon in the rain that ElRey put together. It's mostly Lily but you just can't help but film her! Enjoy!

People Pleasers Unite!

{Sorry about the last post! I didn’t mean it as a pity party, I was just trying to whine creatively. All is well, that dude just won’t leave!!}

That’s right, I am talking to you! You know who you are! If a solicitor calls or comes to your door you let them finish their spiel even though you know you will not be buying. Or maybe you do. Because they have a crappy job and you feel bad for them and want to help them out. Maybe they really DO need to sell 3,000 magazine subscriptions before they can go to college. You don’t want to be the one to hold them back, do you?

Or it could be your Relief Society President (aka compassionate service leader) or your Elder’s quorum president calling for a meal or to take over nursery. Ignore the fact that you have pneumonia and 3 sick kids-you better get the meal done and over ON TIME or get over to the church for nursery in spite of your 80 hour work week and 20 hour church calling! If you say no they may have to call someone else and what’s worse-they won’t like you anymore!

Say you visit a foreign country and while you are waiting for a ride to your hotel a man claiming to be a taxi driver offers you a ride but only for $100. Don't try to take your luggage out of the trunk-that may hurt the possible serial killer’s heart! That. Is. Rude. Instead go for the ride and hope for the best, maybe get the police on your cell phone just in case.

The point is, fellow people pleasers, if you don’t buy that vacation/timeshare package/Mary Kay foundation/Pampered Chef ice cream scooper, what will they tell their spouse that night? They will not like you and any self esteem issues they have will be YOUR FAULT! You wouldn’t want the toothless lady at the gas station asking for gas money to think that you think that they are scamming you. Again, rude! Give them the stinking money and watch her drive out of the gas station WITHOUT BUYING GAS!!! She might not like you if you say no! She WILL NOT get to her imaginary friend’s house in the imaginary Sacramento if you don’t give her YOUR money!

So why say NO when it feels so good to say YES?? Sure, it will cost you money, time you don’t have and your pride but, hey, you made someone happy and you won’t have the shame and guilt of wondering, will they still like me??

PS-Even though it was our government that went to war in Iraq-it is your fault because you said no to donating a dollar to the Primary Children’s hospital that one time. Think about it.

My Buddy and Me

Exhaustion has been my friend of late. And by ‘friend’ I mean stalker. He won’t leave me alone. He’s riding on my back when I run, he’s there, staring at me when I wake and he sits on my face around 3pm. Just so I won’t forget he is there. I even find him when I look in the mirror as he dangles from my eyelids.

There are many possible reasons for my friend over staying his welcome. It could be staying up too late or working out before the sun comes up. Maybe it’s my co-dependent need for sugar and Diet Coke. I’ve often thought it may be just the mere thinking of all the things I need to do that brings my buddy to town.

Could it be just that I am so old (32gasp!) and a mother of three busy girls? The morning is often a wrestling match of hair brushing, diaper changing, bath giving and breakfast sprints. This morning I got so tired of wrestling with Lily to get her skirt back on after a diaper change that she is still without the skirt.

Annie has been struggling with staying in her bed at night and waking us up in the middle of the night. As we were eating dinner the other night I asked her how we can help her stay in bed at night. The ideas I got were: 1) Put chicken wire around her bed so she can’t get out, and 2) Glue her door shut every night and use a wet wipe in the morning to clean it off. I’m telling you, those ideas are tempting!

Since I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism, I often wonder if it is my own chemical makeup, which would be nice to know it’s not all my fault. I wish our bodies were equipped with Doppler Radar or Traffic Link of sorts. It would report the problems or accidents going on in our system so we can fix it, send in a crew and get things moving again. Maybe get prepared with sandbags and move our liver or kidneys to higher ground before the storm hits.

Am I making any sense? Probably not. I am really tired.

The point is…what is my point…..I guess I am just longing for the energy pills someone gives my kids at 6 in the morning that keeps them going till I force them to bed at 8pm. I am longing for the days of energy and desire to get off the couch let alone do something that requires any thought or movement on my part. Can I use coffee for medicinal purposes? How about speed or good old fashion meth? Maybe then I will get something done besides watching reruns of “Scrubs”, going on 2 drink runs and writing a silly blog post no one will remember tomorrow.

Did I mention my ‘friend’ Exhaustion came to town today??

Maybe it would perk me up if you, say, click to follow my blog?? That would be like a shot of Redbull!! :)

My First Born

Audrey was assigned a talk in primary yesterday. She was so excited! She begged me all week to work on her talk. When I finally wrote it out she immediately printed it off and put it in her 3-ring binder which she carried around with her everywhere she went on Saturday.

As I sat and listened to her in primary I was overwhelmed with how beautiful and smart she is! She didn’t need me to help her with any of it and she even did her own little ad lib at the end about her cousin who was baptized. That girl shines! She smiles and the room lights up!

In her short little school career she has received  2 “Principal Pride Awards” which is something they do each Friday and usually one student from each class is honored for their stellar work in class. One for handwriting and one for a very cute story about a mouse and a princess.

She is a joy to be with and tries to always make good choices. She is so easy going and just loves to have fun. I can’t believe my little baby will be baptized this year. I just sit back and watch as this little girl inches closer to being a young woman and I am so proud to call her mine.

I love you, my Audrey! You are one of the greatest gifts God has given me! Thanks for making me smile and laugh! You really do light up my life!