Sort of a backhanded “Things to Smile About”

I gotta do something about that rat picture so here you go.

I’m linking up with Emmy today for her “Things to Smile About”.

 

I’ve been a little MIA the past week.  I do have good excuses. Well, excuses…

The delight of afternoon fun when the girls get home from school is so abundant, it makes me want to puke! I don’t know what I am doing wrong to cause remakes of The Exorcist, Rosemary’s Baby and The Omen but that’s what we get to enjoy around here. Instead pulling out the belt (which is what instinct tells me to do but the law frowns on that) I’ve used a method almost as horrible. Lines. I make them write “I love my sisters”, “Annie is not a cry baby” or “I will not scream at my mom” at least 20 times. Ahhh the joys of a good punishment. I’ve even had one say, “Can I just have a time out??” or “Why do you hate us?” It only means it’s working, right?

ElRey has commandeered my laptop while he is working on this Pioneer Trek (when Mormons take their teenagers out to the wilderness and have them reenact a small part of what the pioneers went through to get to Utah) video for our church. One of the videos (he made several small music videos) was done to banjo music. It has now become the background music to my nightmares. I don’t think anyone realizes what actually goes into doing something like this unless you’ve done it yourself or you’re the spouse. He has put so much time and effort into this I’ve almost forgotten what he looks like. Or how my laptop feels in my hands. Where it belongs.

Two words for you: Season Premiers. So many shows, so little time. Favorite line of the week? “I think a woman in her late 40s saying, “Dude stuff” is on my Sadness Scavenger Hunt. Yes, there it is.” Which show people?

While ElRey continued working on the videos on Saturday, I took the older girls to see Ramona and Beezus. So cute. I cried. I worried that my middle child sometimes feels like Ramona and it made me want to shower her with as many hugs and kisses I could possibly muster. She started crying in one part when Ramona was really sad and I asked her if she ever feels like Ramona. Luckily, she shook her head no. She does great at school but she gets into a lot of trouble at home. It’s not as bad as it used to be but she certainly has her days.

To make up for spending the afternoon in a dark theater on such a beautiful day, I took all the girls up to Silver Lake in Brighton. One of my favorite places-especially with kids. It was so gorgeous I almost cried. My oldest thought I was nuts cuz I kept talking about it. She doesn’t know. As we were driving down the mountain I kept saying “It’s just so beautiful, I love it so much!” and my 6 year old said, “I love whoever made it” to which my 8 year old said, “No one made it, it’s just there” and I said, “Heavenly Father and Jesus made it” and 6 year old said, “ILOVEYOUJESUS!!” at the top of her lungs with her arms raised to the heavens. I don’t know when we went Evangelical but I appreciated the sentiment. Then we saw this guy:

While 6 year old and 3 year old were getting as far back in the car as they could crying, “He’s gonna eat us, mom! He’s gonna eat us! Can we go pppllllleeaaassee??” I was giggling like a giddy little school girl! Totally made my day!

I got money in the mail. Paid the bills. Now the money is gone. But the bills are paid.

I went to Barnes & Noble today and walked out with 3 books for only $14! SAWEET! I should not be allowed in that place unsupervised. Do you think anyone would notice if I moved in there? Oh, the smell, the books, the quiet. It’s my own personal Disneyland.

Gotta go! My 8 year old is going to serve me dinner her and her Activity Days group made for their families. Should I be worried? Maybe. But there’s a Rubio’s down the street and it’s $1.25 tacos Tuesday so all is well.

As my 6 year old will say as she speeds past you on her bike:

PEACE!

Egads!

I think there is a Chupacabra loose in my neighborhood!

I found this, which I think is the bottom half of a rat in my backyard. Before I hurled all over it and my shoes (but, of course, after I took the time to take a picture of it for you all to see. You’re welcome.) I ran back in my house squealing like a wee little girl. I don’t think you can tell how big this really is but it’s gotta be at least 3 times bigger than the little guy I killed with a flip flop. I don’t think a flip flop would’ve killed this one, so thanks, Chupacabra! I just wish he had cleaned up after himself. Just sayin.

Friday Confessions

I’m glad that Glamazon gives me opportunities to tell it like it is since I never, ever, ever EVER do that on a regular basis. I really hold everything in so it’s nice to purge.

 

• I feel so inspired by that act of sisterly love I showed you yesterday.
• Yes, it was a love note from one sister to another
• I was so inspired I scrubbed the shower.
• So no peeing in the shower for at least a week, people.
• That was done by my oldest to my middle child but I don’t think she even saw it.
• If she did, she didn’t care. She’s used to it.
• Because my oldest is so loving and all.
• I watch her interact with her younger sisters and she reminds me of me with my younger brothers when we were growing up.
• I was so tortured by my older brothers I had to take it out on my 2 younger ones.
• Poor guys.
• I seem to remember beating them until they told me they loved me.
• Or if they crossed me in any way I’d go ape ca-ca on them like a crazy woman.
• Or the time I tried to get my younger brother to kiss our cousin.
• Did I mention how tortured I was?
• Now I listen to my oldest bully and manipulate the younger ones into loving her.
• More like serving her.
• She doesn’t even have the excuse of 3 older brothers.
• Man, I wish she had older brothers.
• They keep you humble, that’s for sure.
• Now we all get along great so there is hope, right?
• I have become slightly addicted to “I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant”
• I think it’s so I can sit there and yell at the TV.
• HOW CAN YOU NOT KNOW YOU”RE PREGNANT?!?!
• Every time I ‘snuggle’ with my hubs,  I think I am pregnant until I am proven wrong.
• All 3 times I’ve had babies I had symptoms almost from the moment of snuggling and they don’t let up.
• I think I’m just jealous.
• Here these girls are doing every thing they shouldn’t be doing while pregnant and their bodies apparently don’t change at all and then, BOOM. A healthy baby.
• One girl was even losing weight through her pregnancy!
• I gained 11 lbs in 1 month in my last pregnancy.
• 11 LBS!!!!
• My doctor was super nice about it, tho. He was like, “Oh, everyone gains a little more weight in the summer from retaining water.”
• That’s a whole lot water, dude.
• I always seem to end up looking like some sort of mountain someone wants to hook carabineers into and climb.
• My ankles bypass the ‘cankles’ stage and go straight to ‘thiankles’.
• So, yeah, I don’t get how you can’t know.

Mommy moment

As I was getting into the shower this afternoon after laying around all morning this morning after my 9 mile run and before I volunteered at the school all day, I opened my shower curtain and found this:

Isn’t her handwriting wonderful? Seriously so proud I could burst.

Slight progress

So I told you guys about how I wanted to give myself the best birthday present possible- to be my best self and content in my own skin. Well, I thought I’d tell you about my slight progress in the days since.

I’ve actually opened my scriptures or a church magazine every day since. I've been more conscious of saying my prayers each night, too. I’m just glad I keep remembering! My brain is in ‘pathetic mode’ and I forget many things. Except for the all important movie quotes, bad jokes and lame trivia, of course. Wouldn’t want to forget that crap.

I even wrote in a gratitude journal. Course, it was stuff like “I’m glad I gave the girls a bath last night so I don’t have to deal with it today” or “I’m grateful I don’t have elephantitis or a pegged-leg”. Hey, it wasn’t much but gratitude is gratitude, right?

But then I tripped over my high heels on my way home from church, twisted my ankle and almost kissed the pavement and I thought, that’s what I get for going to church! Or, maybe I shouldn’t wear high heels. I could probably get  a doctor’s note to get out of that fashion must.

I can’t seem to get the yoga thing going as much as I would like. I haven’t done it a ton but enough to know it would be very beneficial and it just feels so good. My problem is the gym only has it at 8 am or 7pm which are both not good times for me with school and bedtime business. I’ve tried videos which work great, I just have kids thinking I’m playing London Bridges or Horsey so it’s not exactly relaxing.

I have this one DVD that I stole borrowed from my parents which is all fine and dandy but it’s led by this guy named Baron Baptiste. He looks like a guy who owns a white van and trolls for unsuspecting young women in dark alleys. Then his little drones that are doing the workout with him in the background are all wearing grey biker shorts and sports bras (the guys are topless) and grey is not flattering in tight clothing. Even I know that. Plus, it shows sweat so they’ll have their legs open doing a stretch and they have a big old sweat ring in the crotch and there’s Baron ‘helping’ them in their stretch by pushing on the girl’s inner thigh. Needless to say, it’s all a little awkward and disturbing. Even my 8 year old that was watching it said, “That guy is really creepy…no, seriously, he’s creepy!”

So I went searching for other yoga videos. I trolled the library near my home and discovered they have  a “Biggest Loser” yoga video. With Bob Harper on the cover. I was sold. His face could be on a bag of manure and I’d buy it. Come on! He’s pretty!

Suddenly instead of being disturbed when he touched one of his exercise buddies on the thigh or buttocks, I was insanely jealous. I would sit and watch without even doing the moves, munching on a bag of popcorn, imagining it was my leg he was moving into the correct position. “Oh yeah…you help her with that downward facing dog….stretch that hammy, Bob.” It’s like yoga porn.

Seriously though, would you want to sit and drool over workout with this guy:

OR this guy:

I don’t care if Baron is some kind is guru! In my mind there is no contest! If Bob drove up beside me in a white van and asked to help find his lost puppy (whose name happens to be Karl), I would totally jump in!

What I meant to say was I would totally do his yoga video…it just all came out wrong…

(Did anyone else notice I went from talking about scriptures and prayers to yoga porn? Yeah, I’m totally well rounded..)

I gotta be frank..

I hate birthdays.

If it’s my birthday and you are buying me pretty things, celebrating the day I came into this world, and rubbing my feet then I’m totally fine with it.

But the dreaded kid party sets my teeth a’ grindin. It makes me want to follow the beliefs of the Jehovah Witness religion and not celebrate birthdays.

Except for mine, of course. I’m a princess.

There are so many reasons why and I am magnanimous enough to tell you why. I am so good to you.

My daughter got ‘invited’ to a party today. I say ‘invited’ because I got the feeling she really wasn’t on the list since the girl quickly wrote up an invite on a thank you card while they were playing the other day. Now, I couldn’t care less if my child didn’t get invited to a party, in fact, I’d be grateful, so I thought I could avoid this party and my daughter wouldn’t notice but that was not the way it worked. So then I had to rush to figure out a present minutes before, then the mad dash to get her there with the other sister bawling cuz she doesn’t get to go.

At this point I can either deal with the screaming and crying that will last at least a half an hour or I can be the ass and call to invite my other child to the party.

I go with the ass card often.

Now I know the kids have so much fun and they love being involved and I would never take that away from them unless I had something better to offer them, but I never know what to buy for the birthday child, often, the stuff my kids bring home is way better than what I sent for the kid the party is for and if the party doesn’t involve both my girls I get to hear all about a child’s perspective on what’s fair.

My favorite is stressing over my own kids’ parties (which I try to have only every other year) like who to invite, is there anyone who will feel left out, should I just invite the siblings to make everyone happy (Those fears left me with a 6 year old party with around 20 guest that I couldn’t handle on my own and me sobbing on my kitchen floor the night before!!), party favors and what fun to have. I believe in keeping them very simple. I know without a doubt children need much less then what most parents do to feel loved and celebrated and I will not give into all the hype of bigger and better. For my 8 year old’s last birthday I allowed her to invite 3 girls over for a sleepover with movies, pizza, cake and junk food, nothing more. That has been one of her most favorite birthdays.

But sometimes it is hard to compete with the Build A Bear parties when my child comes home with a better gift than the one I sent, or a trip for all to Boondocks. A treat bag that had to have cost $10 a bag or ponies to take rides on or a live performance by Neil Diamond. I can’t (and won’t) compete with that.

Like I said, I would never try to take birthday parties away from my kids and I want them to be able to celebrate theirs and their friend’s birthdays, all I’m saying is they aren’t on my favorite things list.

But if anyone wants to celebrate my birthday, it’s never too late or too early and I would be all over that.

I’d really like a new MP3 player or simple gift cards will do. (Sorry, no pony rides this time..)

Confessin

It’s that time of week again where we all let it hang out. No, put your bra back on, I only meant saying whatever is on out mind. Put the girls back. I’ll wait.

I confess:

• I find potty training to be incredibly degrading for all parties involved.
• Wet undies get old really fast.
• I finally got her to poo poo in the potty by telling her that the poo wanted to go for a swim and when you flush it, it gets to go down a water slide and it’ll love it soo much!
• Yes, that actually did come out of my mouth with enthusiasm.
• By the grace of God, it worked.
• Let’s hope it lasts.
• Who knew that as a parent you’d get so excited about bathroom business.
• Man, I gotta get a life.
• Speaking of getting a life, I went out last night and met some other bloggers.
• I’m weirdly shy when I meet new people but these ladies were easy to warm up to!
• When I first got there I was still in a daze from the death nap I had just before.
• I was talking to my husband after he got home from work and the next thing I knew, I was waking up in a panic, wondering why my clothes were on and freaking out that I needed to get the kids to school.
• It was 5PM.
• I gotta stop having such late nights!
• Anyway, as soon as I started pumping my veins full of Diet Coke and food, I perked up quite a bit.
• I was surprised that I didn’t get too inappropriate the more I warmed up.
• At least I hope I didn’t…
• Have you ever hung out with a bunch of bloggers?
• It’s funny cuz I think it’s safe to say that we a a narcissistic bunch or we wouldn’t be doing blogs, right?
• Imagine 8 of those at the same table.
• It was awesome.
• Lots of laughing and everyone trying to get there stories out there.
• Don’t worry we, did get all the important topics out there-blogging, birth stories, hysterectomies and boob jobs.
• Oh, and nuclear weapons.
• We may have been louder at our table than the entire restaurant put together.
• Now that is a record I am proud to reach!
• Although, the lady at the next table seemed rather shocked when I hollered “Holy Casaba Melons”.
• See? Not too inappropriate!
• Blogging is the Millennial Pen Pal.
• Only with way more TMI and drama.

Back L-R: Crystal@ Wanna Be Balanced Mom, KyAnn@ Sanity is Overrated, Melissa@ Glamazon, Kellie@ Hendricks Family with cute baby Jack, Laura@ The Purse Blogger, Tylaine@ Just Me

Front: Kate@ Smug Marrieds, and the hottest one, me.

I figure the smaller the picture, the smaller I look…I know, I’m delusional but a girl can dream!

The Birthday Post

**Okay, this post was a little selfish on my part and may not interest anyone but me. I’d love for you to stay but you may move on if you like. I won’t be offended. I just may egg your house, tho. Just sayin.

***Oh, and I have had some of the sweetest and most awesomest comments from so many of you and I thank you very much and am very flattered! I love that I can make you giggle, smile or even snort!

I was at a birthday party last night for a friend in our neighborhood that was turning 31. He said that “31 was the new 51”.  It’s funny how much that decade can throw off your mojo so much. I have felt the same way about my 30s. I’m almost offended that they snuck up on me right after my 20s. It’s just rude.

I was having a conversation with a friend about another friend we run with. This girl (and one other in our little running group) can go run a tri in the morning and do 100 mile bike ride in the evening! She’s a freak of nature with her ability to keep going, doing and it never seeming to affect her! So we were trying to figure out how she does it, she has 3 kids, too, enjoys some junk food here and there and doesn’t always get a good night’s rest. Just like any of us. But for some reason this girl runs circles around us (more so me, really) and then go do 3 hours spin class right after and think nothing of it. As we were talking my friend said, “You know she’s about 10 years younger than us, right?” My first thought was, since when am I friends with a 10 year old?? And then I remembered I wasn’t 20. And then I was depressed. And ate 2 dozen cookies. On that note, I probably have a good 70 lbs on this lady so I have a lot more baggage in my trunk..and my spare tire…and my saddle bags….Where are those cookies?? Oh…I ate them…sigh…

Another time I had a teenager come babysit for me one day and as I was giving her the list of whatevers I thought, why am I giving her this list? Shouldn’t an adult be doing this? I’m the girlfriend she’s gonna call the moment the old lady walks out the door, right? No…I am the old lady! Aw Crap!

I had my birthday last month and I realized I was coming into my *gasp* mid-thirties! This is high time for that mid-life crisis I was planning!  Perfect timing,  right?? It’s all the rage now so I may as well. All I need is one HcG diet, a closet full of stilettos and a tummy tuck and I am on my way!

Although that was be the easier way to deal with my getting older and this is it? issues I think I will try a different route and hope to come out on top and still remain happily married.

You see, there was a time I really liked myself. Not in a conceited sort of way but in a happy with who and where I was. I was around 20, preparing for my mission, great friends and I thought everything was beautiful in the world. Of course, I also had to only worry about myself, I had very few bills and lived only for the next adventure on my list. Now my life is full and rich to overflowing of all that I ever wanted but with that comes responsibilities, worries and disappointments.

In the book Eat, Pray, Love (one of my favorites!) Elizabeth Gilbert came to this point in her life and realized she didn’t want to be who she had become and left her life behind to find herself again in her travels and her self centered adventures around the world. This was how she chose to do it and I am not saying it was a bad idea, it seemed to work for her, but not all of us are willing to walk away from the life we have created, leaving broken hearts in our wake. Anne Morrow Lindbergh in her fabulous book, Gift From the Sea, only left her life behind for 3 weeks but, still, she left for a while to gather her thoughts and remind herself who she was. Both women gave us great books that make us think, but most of us cannot run away even for a couple nights.

This is where I am as I begin my 35th year on this earth. How do you find yourself again? How do you combine what was good about you before you lost yourself in the daily grind with the goodness of the you today? All without having to leave the comfort of your family life? It’s so easy to get lost in the monotony of life to the point when you do have some ‘me’ time, you watch reruns or play solitaire. There is nothing wrong with that but I’ve just been thinking how this can be the sweetest time of my life with my little girls growing up before my very eyes, our marriage is still pretty young and our life is good. But I know, I’ve mistakenly lost a piece of me that I continually long for and I want it back. I want my kids and husband to see more of that lady instead of this quick to anger, grumpier old lady. I’m too young to be THAT lady!

So here is what I have come up with to help me combine the good parts of me today with the good parts of me from the past.

One good thing about the “Millennial Mindi” (oh, I like that! Even better than “Associate Mindi”!) is that I am more willing to recognize talents I have. To help that, I want to spend time each day cultivating those talents. I miss the days of dying to write, I’ve lost it the past few months and I want to get that fire blazing again and the only way to do that is write, write, write!

I need to grow up and realize I cannot eat like I did when I was 17! The mindless rebel in me says I can but my pants know better!

One thing I had back in the olden days was a consistency in spiritual study and renewal. I prayed very regularly and read my scriptures every night before going to bed. I keep trying to do this more but I just haven’t gotten back into the habit yet. Maybe I should put a big sign on my bathroom mirror. Better than looking at my early morning mug first thing!

I want yoga to be a regular part of my life. I even bought my own yoga mat. It’s pretty. It has butterflies on it. Not only to calm my breathing (most of the day my jaw is clenched and I huff or maybe pant, I don’t know) but I have read it really helps with symptoms of hypothyroidism. And it makes me feel good.

I recently read Carol Burnett’s book titled, This Time Together (another good one!), and she talked about a woman who had a lot of trials in her life (sorry, can’t remember who) but in spite of it all she would always be cheerful. No matter how sad or hard it may have gotten, she put on a cheerful face. I wonder if there were times when she didn’t want to, but she did. I want to be cheerful.

Start writing in my gratitude journal again!!

These are just a few things I can get started on, and I’ve probably said it all before-which just shows how well I’m doing on trying to change, right??

I want this year to be different! I want to give myself the best gift and that is a content and joyful woman! It may take all year to get these habits going but I will do all I can to get them going. Life is too good to pout your way through it and I am done with it! Now I just need to remember that! (Maybe I should tape this entire post to my bathroom mirror!)

I’m gonna make the 30s the new 20s for me! Here’s to the rest of the best decade ever!

Confessional Friday with Glammy

Man, it’s a good thing my buds have some MeMe’s (what does that even mean????) to keep me on task! I’d be writing about how knows what if it weren’t for these! Come play along, you know you want to!

I confess:

• Wait..ssshhhh…you hear that??
• It’s the soft sounds of children at school and hanging with my 3 year old!
• Oh yeah….that’s nice….
• Not that I don’t adore my kids, cuz I do!
• I was even missing them yesterday.
• I had to literally beg them to stay home and not run off and play with their friends AGAIN.
• After the hour long fit (by my 8 year old, no less), I didn’t want to be around her anymore.
• But then I was stuck.
• This was the same girl that I hardly saw on Tuesday and when she was finally home she went straight to my room to watch TV. When I came to say bye as I was leaving for Book Club, she started bawling, “Why do you have to go?? I haven’t seen you all day!!” As I tried to talk to her about it all I got was a muffled, “Go! Just go!” through the pillow she was screaming into.
• Drama much?
• I can’t wait till all 3 of them are PMSing and I’m all menopausal.
• That’ll be fun.
• ElRey will suddenly be getting A LOT of overtime at work when that happens.
• He’s so screwed.
• Sorry dude.
• I love that everyone thought that this was me:

• It’s actually my 6 year old.
• But I’m flattered that you would think it would only take a few people and a cheap comforter to throw me up in the air.
• I’m pretty sure it would take a crane, titanium and the breaking of a few laws of gravity and physics to get me airborne.
• But thanks!
• I am a dainty flower, I can’t help it.
• I would give almost anything for a professional massage!
• My friend and I went for a long hike the other day with our 3 year olds strapped to our backs.
• My back, joints, and calves haven’t forgiven me yet.
• But I was very grateful for my peeing in the wilderness skillz.
• I’m sure the tree I peed on and any wildlife that witnessed it were, too.
• That squirrel is gonna need some serious therapy!
• Did I mention I’m a dainty flower?