Late Night Confessions

I’m making it just under the wire! Phew!

• I drove all the way to Ogden (45 minutes away) just to get a burger and onion rings.
• Okay, so there was a museum involved, too, but it was all for the burger.
• Ooohhh the burger…
• I mostly leave the house so I don’t have to think about cleaning my house.
• And for the food.
• That’s pretty much my motivation for everything.
• We jammed to the Mamma Mia soundtrack on our day trip.
• I secretly think Pierce Brosnan is a good singer.
• Except for the vein bulging, that’s off putting.
• I thought about deactivating my Facebook account about 23.7 times this week.
• I thought maybe if I dejunked my friends list it would help.
• I only deleted 3.
• Why did I bother???
• I don’t know.
• I haven’t even seen Eclipse yet.
• Every time I try to go to a late night showing the store is all out of body glitter and fangs.
• Can’t a girl catch a break??
• The other night I couldn’t sleep and in my frustration got on my treadmill at 2AM.
• I was so tired yesterday I didn’t know how I would make it through the day.
• But somehow I went swimming, went out for Thai food and hit book club.
• When my speech started slurring at book club, I knew it was time to go home.
• I got home at 10.
• It just felt dirty and wrong, coming home so early.
• My husband was shocked and kept looking to the East when I walked through the front door.
• All over the valley they have billboards that just say “COLONOSCOPY”
• Every time I drive by one, I feel the sudden urge to have a colonoscopy.
• Or have a good poop.
• My mom’s cure for everything thing is a good poop.
• Sinus infection?
• “Have you had a good poop?”
• Ingrown toenail?
• “Do you need to go poo-poo?
• Dandruff?
• “Are you ‘regular’, honey?”
• How is she always right??
• Have I gone to far?
• Probably.
• Unfortunately, there is no cure for that.
• Not even a good poop.

Good night and big balls!