Aftermath

Holy. Freaking. Ouch.

Who knew that slamming into someone’s car going about 5 mph could cause so much pain!

Can you say “Complete Waste of Skin”?

That would be me.

I feel like I have been walking around in this haze all week, I can hardly think or move, luckily I’ve had the strength to put on a bra and eat lots of food. It takes a lot of fat and calories to heal a body! And a whole lot o’ bra to hold up these fun bags. At least I’ve got my priorities straight.

Yesterday was the the breaking point. I was either laying flat on my back with my children crawling all over me, sobbing in the bathroom or staring at the wall.

At least I now have Netflix on my Wii (that still sounds dirty to me, just sayin), at least I can now stare at something worthwhile. Today I had to pee and I watched 4 whole episodes of 30Rock before I actually got up to do something about it. It’s times like this when that crazy astronaut lady (I totally Googled “crazy astronaut lady” and it took me right to her! Awesome!) starts making a little more sense..

Anyway, my breaking point. So, I was in so much pain that it finally convinced me to call a Dr. I’m pretty sure that along with back x-rays I will need a colonoscopy, lap band surgery and some Botox because of this accident. Probably Lasik, too.

As I was sobbing talking to my drug dealer pimp mom, she offered some of her legal narcotics from a recent surgery to help me get through till my Dr.’s appt. Let me tell you, that was the best thing that happened to me all week. While it didn’t totally take away the pain, and there were pink elephants floating about my living room singing and that disembodied head that was predicting the future, it did make me care less about the pain. I mean, there were pink elephants in the room, come on!

It does seem better today so I’m sure I will survive. Heck, I may even do my hair again or even do the damn dishes again….and again….again….

I think it’s time for me to pop another one of those happy pill…

Seriously though, you guys are all awesome! Thanks for all your care and concern! There is nothing like a blog to make you feel loved! It’s like a real life hug or plate of cookies! {{HUGS}} To you all!