You know, there are some benefits of being the very average looking, slightly chubby girl. Not only do you know to not spend bundles of money on beauty products because it ain’t gonna make you look like Jennifer Aniston. Or that fact that you don’t have to worry that that guy might be coming on to you because he most assuredly is not.
No, the big benefit of it all is you develop a sense of humor. It’s the only way you might get noticed. So you make jokes hoping to get a laugh or at least a smile. You learn to not take yourself too seriously and you can find the funny in almost anything. It’s a fantastic coping mechanism that doesn’t cost anything or require an intervention and rehab.
That’s what I have been trying to do all week. I have a few successful moments but not many. I keep having these silly ideas that come to me when I am having my torture session treatment or my ideas of how to get back at little old ladies who shouldn’t be driving. But an hour later it’s all gone. I have no funny.
Sitting for any length of time causes uncontrollable sobbing. Standing for any length of time causes sobbing. Laying…well, you get the idea. I have barely made it through my last papers of the semester and after that, I have nothing left.
I know that I am very lucky, it could all be worse. I am grateful that my baby slept through the silly accident and she is unharmed. I am grateful to know that one day I won’t drop to the floor because I bent a certain way or chatted on Facebook for a little too long. But the thought of how very little I am in my life right now, that I cannot pick up my baby and everyday my kids ask when my back is going to be better just breaks my heart.
Each day I wonder if I can even do it just one more day. All I want is to take anything that will make me completely numb for just a few hours. Not just numb to the pain but to the stress wrapped up in it, dealing with the insurance company, all the crying, the fact that ElRey is having to carry so much and needing to be a mom but can’t even do that.
Man, it all hurts and I want it to all go away. I just hope the funny comes back.
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13 comments:
I just want you to know I love you! I am sorry it hurts and I hope it passes soon.
The funny will come back:) There is nothing like pain to take your mind and attention off of everything else. I hope you have a good experience with the insurance company and they pay for whatever help you need! You need to tell them that we need our mindi back to entertain us!! (but to be honest, I love your serious posts as much as your funny) p.s.- take a few vicodin for me!!
It kills me that I am not there to help. Though the things I could help with are trivial. I am pryaing for a quick and full recovery. Love you so much. And the funny will definitely be back. We wil make it, dangit!
Oh Mindi, I'm so sorry. You are in my prayers and I hope the funny comes back soon too. {{HUGS}}
I have something for you on my blog. :)
We are all praying for your speedy recovery. If it wouldn't scare your sweet girls to death, they could come over for a play day and you could have a "time out" for a bit. We can talk on Friday about it.
I hope you get much better soon. That must be awful. I'm sorry you're going through this, but just try to hold onto that funny for as long as you can! I'll pray for you. :)
From what I've heard a vicodin with a valium chaser might just do the trick.
Just sayin.
And also, my roommates and I decided that we didn't want to date 10's (yeah-WE made that choice, not them). Our reasons were much like the ones that you have described. They have never been forced to develop much in the way of personality. 8's maybe 7's....they had to work for attention. They were always much more fun to be around.
I don't care how good looking you are. Boring is still boring when the lights are out.
Ah, I feel ya. I'm sorry you're having such a hard time-want to come up for a weekend? Maybe you need to get away :) Well, I think you are both cute AND pretty, and to top it all off you have a great personality.
I think that behind anyone that is really funny is a lot, lot of pain. That's WHY they are funny, that's how they deal with it.
Love you!
I am so so sorry. I wish I could somehow magically make you all better. Darn that grandma!! Tell me where she lives and next time I am in Utah I will slash her tires for you. :)
But seriously, I hope you get better soon... and I have no doubt your funny will come back.
This is my introductory post to your blog and it broke my heart. Then I read the post below and the first thing it says is
"I confess that I went to book club last night totally stoned." and that made me laugh out loud - a lot - and I rarely laugh out loud at blog posts at all - ever.
I think you've had your funny all along - it's just being beaten into submission by that blasted pain.
I left you some sunshine over on my blog.
http://afortunatestrokeofserendipity.blogspot.com/
Mindi, I am so sorry you are in so much pain. If there is anything I can do please let me know. Love you girl. {{hugs}}
Glamazon's got it on the nose. Back pain aside, feel better soon. You're needed!
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