The Birthday Post

**Okay, this post was a little selfish on my part and may not interest anyone but me. I’d love for you to stay but you may move on if you like. I won’t be offended. I just may egg your house, tho. Just sayin.

***Oh, and I have had some of the sweetest and most awesomest comments from so many of you and I thank you very much and am very flattered! I love that I can make you giggle, smile or even snort!

I was at a birthday party last night for a friend in our neighborhood that was turning 31. He said that “31 was the new 51”.  It’s funny how much that decade can throw off your mojo so much. I have felt the same way about my 30s. I’m almost offended that they snuck up on me right after my 20s. It’s just rude.

I was having a conversation with a friend about another friend we run with. This girl (and one other in our little running group) can go run a tri in the morning and do 100 mile bike ride in the evening! She’s a freak of nature with her ability to keep going, doing and it never seeming to affect her! So we were trying to figure out how she does it, she has 3 kids, too, enjoys some junk food here and there and doesn’t always get a good night’s rest. Just like any of us. But for some reason this girl runs circles around us (more so me, really) and then go do 3 hours spin class right after and think nothing of it. As we were talking my friend said, “You know she’s about 10 years younger than us, right?” My first thought was, since when am I friends with a 10 year old?? And then I remembered I wasn’t 20. And then I was depressed. And ate 2 dozen cookies. On that note, I probably have a good 70 lbs on this lady so I have a lot more baggage in my trunk..and my spare tire…and my saddle bags….Where are those cookies?? Oh…I ate them…sigh…

Another time I had a teenager come babysit for me one day and as I was giving her the list of whatevers I thought, why am I giving her this list? Shouldn’t an adult be doing this? I’m the girlfriend she’s gonna call the moment the old lady walks out the door, right? No…I am the old lady! Aw Crap!

I had my birthday last month and I realized I was coming into my *gasp* mid-thirties! This is high time for that mid-life crisis I was planning!  Perfect timing,  right?? It’s all the rage now so I may as well. All I need is one HcG diet, a closet full of stilettos and a tummy tuck and I am on my way!

Although that was be the easier way to deal with my getting older and this is it? issues I think I will try a different route and hope to come out on top and still remain happily married.

You see, there was a time I really liked myself. Not in a conceited sort of way but in a happy with who and where I was. I was around 20, preparing for my mission, great friends and I thought everything was beautiful in the world. Of course, I also had to only worry about myself, I had very few bills and lived only for the next adventure on my list. Now my life is full and rich to overflowing of all that I ever wanted but with that comes responsibilities, worries and disappointments.

In the book Eat, Pray, Love (one of my favorites!) Elizabeth Gilbert came to this point in her life and realized she didn’t want to be who she had become and left her life behind to find herself again in her travels and her self centered adventures around the world. This was how she chose to do it and I am not saying it was a bad idea, it seemed to work for her, but not all of us are willing to walk away from the life we have created, leaving broken hearts in our wake. Anne Morrow Lindbergh in her fabulous book, Gift From the Sea, only left her life behind for 3 weeks but, still, she left for a while to gather her thoughts and remind herself who she was. Both women gave us great books that make us think, but most of us cannot run away even for a couple nights.

This is where I am as I begin my 35th year on this earth. How do you find yourself again? How do you combine what was good about you before you lost yourself in the daily grind with the goodness of the you today? All without having to leave the comfort of your family life? It’s so easy to get lost in the monotony of life to the point when you do have some ‘me’ time, you watch reruns or play solitaire. There is nothing wrong with that but I’ve just been thinking how this can be the sweetest time of my life with my little girls growing up before my very eyes, our marriage is still pretty young and our life is good. But I know, I’ve mistakenly lost a piece of me that I continually long for and I want it back. I want my kids and husband to see more of that lady instead of this quick to anger, grumpier old lady. I’m too young to be THAT lady!

So here is what I have come up with to help me combine the good parts of me today with the good parts of me from the past.

One good thing about the “Millennial Mindi” (oh, I like that! Even better than “Associate Mindi”!) is that I am more willing to recognize talents I have. To help that, I want to spend time each day cultivating those talents. I miss the days of dying to write, I’ve lost it the past few months and I want to get that fire blazing again and the only way to do that is write, write, write!

I need to grow up and realize I cannot eat like I did when I was 17! The mindless rebel in me says I can but my pants know better!

One thing I had back in the olden days was a consistency in spiritual study and renewal. I prayed very regularly and read my scriptures every night before going to bed. I keep trying to do this more but I just haven’t gotten back into the habit yet. Maybe I should put a big sign on my bathroom mirror. Better than looking at my early morning mug first thing!

I want yoga to be a regular part of my life. I even bought my own yoga mat. It’s pretty. It has butterflies on it. Not only to calm my breathing (most of the day my jaw is clenched and I huff or maybe pant, I don’t know) but I have read it really helps with symptoms of hypothyroidism. And it makes me feel good.

I recently read Carol Burnett’s book titled, This Time Together (another good one!), and she talked about a woman who had a lot of trials in her life (sorry, can’t remember who) but in spite of it all she would always be cheerful. No matter how sad or hard it may have gotten, she put on a cheerful face. I wonder if there were times when she didn’t want to, but she did. I want to be cheerful.

Start writing in my gratitude journal again!!

These are just a few things I can get started on, and I’ve probably said it all before-which just shows how well I’m doing on trying to change, right??

I want this year to be different! I want to give myself the best gift and that is a content and joyful woman! It may take all year to get these habits going but I will do all I can to get them going. Life is too good to pout your way through it and I am done with it! Now I just need to remember that! (Maybe I should tape this entire post to my bathroom mirror!)

I’m gonna make the 30s the new 20s for me! Here’s to the rest of the best decade ever!