Friday Confessions

I have to confess, I need to confess.. I am the queen of completely random thoughts and this is a great way to get them off my chest-which just keeps getting bigger and bigger. Ahhh pregnancy hormones..I’m a walking cleavage..

So here I am confessin with Glamazon.

I confess:

• I decided something: I don’t like earbuds-you know, the earphones you shove in your ear canal.
• They are just another way to remind me that I don’t fit the mold.
• I always have one if not both falling out of my ear because one is bigger than the other.
• I can’t do anything about that!
• It’s not like I can go on a diet to adjust my ear hole size!
• If I went to a surgeon to fix it, he’d laugh in my face
• After he told me my boobs are crooked
• I won’t even tell you what he said about my butt
• or my gut.
• This is why I want to go back to the good old 80’s style headphones.
• Those ginorm ear muff type that cover your entire ear and part of your cheek and weigh more than your entire head.
• That sounds better.
• They’d probably give me a complex about my head, tho.
• But I already have one so we’re good.
• That thing is gargantuan!
• And lumpy..
• I have this shirt that has snaps instead of buttons.
• If my husband is home it is constantly being ripped open.
• Cuz, you know, what’s under it is so attractive right now.
• It’s gotten to the point it doesn’t even phase me anymore.
• I just keep walking while re-snapping it up.
• I don’t even need his help with that anymore since my belly does it on it’s own whenever I bend down.
• SNAP
• Curses.
• Needless to say, I don’t wear it in public much.
• Course, it’s not exactly stylish.
• At least I don’t think tent size denim shirts that snap up are in style at the moment..
• And you know me, always one to keep up with fashion.
• I think Netflix is a dirty drug dealing ho.
• They get you addicted to something through their instant view and then suddenly, BOOM, they don’t offer it up anymore! Suddenly you have to wait for your next hit to come in the mail!
• THE MAIL, PEOPLE, THE MAIL!!!
• That takes like a whole day to get!
• I mean, I can quit whenever I want to but I’ve only finished Season 2 of 5!
• I can’t leave something unfinished like that!
• Unless it’s dishes, laundry, any projects, cleaning in general, anything hard, college and sentences
• I had commented on the quality writing of a show I hadn’t ever actually watched and when Glam said she started watching it cuz of me, I realized I should check out what I’m praising.
• It is my magnanimous gift to society to keep you updated on good entertainment.
• It’s Dexter.
• That jerk.
• He knows thinks he can make me like him.
• Now I have to wait for each DVD to come in the mail.
• And I have to stick with it just to prove I hate him.
• And Netflix.
• Late at night, you’ll find me in a dark corner of my house, laptop in hand, ear buds in canal, watching, and secretly loving hating that Dexter.
• Yes, I have become that antisocial that my social life consists of fictional vigilante type serial killer.
• And the dreaded ear buds.
• And my ‘snappy’ shirt.
• But there’s usually refreshments involved.
• So I’m good.