Debunking parenting myths

There is just a few things people claim make a difference in parenting, ways to trick them into eating good food, potty training, sleeping habits and whatnot. You don’t need those parenting magazines or websites, all you need is me.

Seriously. How many times do I have to tell you that??

Myth #1: Nursing helps you shed the baby weight.

Fact: That's a bunch of bull ca-ca. There is something about producing milk that makes fat stay For.Ever. Sure, a healthy diet and exercise does help but don’t believe for one second that nursing is a weight loss plan. Or birth control.

Myth #2: Having your children plant and care for a garden makes them want to eat the food they grow.

Fact: While they may have fun watching them grow and become food, they will still do gagging sounds and act like they may die if you try to get them to eat a tomato.

Myth #3: Having your children help you cook will make them want to eat what they helped prepare.

Fact: This one is similar to #2. While it’s important to teach your kids how to cook and they will love making a mess in the kitchen, they will still not eat that veggie lasagna they helped layer or that chicken casserole. They’ll eat any baked goods they help you with, though. Honestly, having them ‘help’ only shaves years off your life.

Myth #4: Pureeing veggies and sneaking it into their meals helps them get their daily veggie needs and they don’t even know!

Fact: They know. They always know.

Myth #5: Teaching your babies to sleep in their own beds young keeps them out of your bed and sleeping through the night.

Fact: Once they can get out of a crib, they end up in your bed. For years. You wonder if you will ever have the bed to yourself again. They will kick you in the crotch. Punch you in the face and use you as their personal pillow. You will begin to wonder if you ever really had a sex life. And then they pee in your bed the very day you washed your sheets. Sure, you can take them back to their bed but they only come back minutes later. I often wonder why I even bothered buying my children their own beds. Total waste of money.

Myth #6: Doing girls’ hair is always fun!

Fact: Imagine you are a medic in the Civil War. Your job is to amputate damaged limbs and there is no anesthetics to knock them out or make it easier. And they scream and squirm while you try to do your gruesome work. Yeah, that’s what it’s like to do little girls’ hair-without the actual injury. But it’s almost as traumatizing. I could never figure out why my mom made me have this haircut for most of my childhood:

Now I understand.

Myth #7: Once your kid is potty trained, it’s easy sailing and they no longer need your help.

Fact: This will not end your butt wiping duties (heehee….duties). In my case, my sweet 3 year old demands that I be in the room with her. I am expected to sit on the bathtub next to her, hold her hands, sing songs and giggle while she makes a poopie. We then must judge the size (that’s a mommy poopie or a daddy poopie or a baby poopie) and then witness them ‘go down the waterslide’. Every.Time. She obviously hasn’t discovered the joys of ‘alone time’. I always thought sitting on a wet toilet seat was the worst…till I sat on a sticky toilet seat (from sticky hands, I swear!!). Sometimes I wonder if potty training is overrated.

Now don’t let me put you off of being a parent. It is totally worth it….at least they say it is…I’ll let you know if that’s a myth or fact in 20 years or so….

**Speaking of children, I have a poll going on a name for our newest princess. Please vote (even if we’ll still name her whatever we want )!!