Omigosh! I am actually getting a chance to play this week! I haven’t done this one in a while and I have missed it! You know the drill!
Several times a day I am known to drive down our street. At certain times of the day there is a lovely band of skaters in the middle of that street with their bars and jumps and butthole attitudes. As I drive by them, I give a nice, passive smile while I (im)patiently wait for these smartasses Children of God to move out of my way. Mostly because I do not want my house to be egged. Let me be clear, I have no problem with skateboarding. I am amazed at the skill it takes to use one of those things. What I do have a problem with is the blatant disrespect towards those DRIVING ON THE FREAKING STREET while these buttholes future leaders of our country know you are coming and wait until your bumper is literally touching their butts and then they move just enough so you can then try to maneuver your car around them, because you are the one in their way!
So, what my motherly patient smile is really saying is:
Listen, you little pieces of dung! If you do not show a little more respect for those around you, I will take that skateboard and beat you other the head with it while I holler sweetly to my kids in the car that I will be right back and not to worry, I’m just cleaning up the streets a bit! This is, of course, after a session of serious junk punching. After that, I am calling your mother! Hooligans!
Phew! That may not be much, but I just had to get that off my chest! I seriously need to kick some trash! I realize that the street is probably the best place to skate around here but don’t act like you don’t know there is a car coming towards you as though you own the road! You don’t! My 2,ooo pound car does and my very slippery foot on that brake….totally kidding..kinda…. And this is coming from someone that actually LIKES teenagers (mostly because I think I am one…except when I say hooligans…)!
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7 comments:
What a pain! I would not have your patience.
For us it's the rip stick thingies. I live on a ridge so most of the streets are sloped- except our cul-de-sac which means I live in mortal fear of backing my car out of the garage and accidentally crushing some of the million kids riding bikes, skateboards, rip sticks or playing basketball in the circle.
And yes, they are SLOW to move o out of your way and leave you worrying that you'll hit them. I feel your pain!
You are better than me.. I just don't like teenagers. Well I loved my girls when I was in YW, but for some reason I just have a hard time liking teenagers, maybe because a lot of people still think I look like one and I so want to distance myself from them.
But yeah, get out of the streets you punks!
do you think it would help if us moms (strength in numbers!!)in the neighborhood formed a posse and started walking towards those boys with pitchforks and torches and the like and we gave them a good "talking to"? sounds like a girls night out to me!
HA! Butthole attitudes. I'm pretty sure that was funnier than the unedited version ever could have been!
Seriously! That is one thing I don't miss about the neighborhood. And its not like they're on the SIDE of the street, no, they put their stupid rail IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD. And then just stand there and stare at you as your car pretty much touches their lazy behinds. Grrr...just thinking about it makes me mad.
Good one!
Tell me about it!! At least they are not in front of your house!!! Seriously I think ONE kid lives at the end of the street & the rest of them are from various places in the neighborhood!!! I wish they would move further down....further away from my HOUSE!! Stooopid Hooligans!!
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