{Sorry about the last post! I didn’t mean it as a pity party, I was just trying to whine creatively. All is well, that dude just won’t leave!!}
That’s right, I am talking to you! You know who you are! If a solicitor calls or comes to your door you let them finish their spiel even though you know you will not be buying. Or maybe you do. Because they have a crappy job and you feel bad for them and want to help them out. Maybe they really DO need to sell 3,000 magazine subscriptions before they can go to college. You don’t want to be the one to hold them back, do you?
Or it could be your Relief Society President (aka compassionate service leader) or your Elder’s quorum president calling for a meal or to take over nursery. Ignore the fact that you have pneumonia and 3 sick kids-you better get the meal done and over ON TIME or get over to the church for nursery in spite of your 80 hour work week and 20 hour church calling! If you say no they may have to call someone else and what’s worse-they won’t like you anymore!
Say you visit a foreign country and while you are waiting for a ride to your hotel a man claiming to be a taxi driver offers you a ride but only for $100. Don't try to take your luggage out of the trunk-that may hurt the possible serial killer’s heart! That. Is. Rude. Instead go for the ride and hope for the best, maybe get the police on your cell phone just in case.
The point is, fellow people pleasers, if you don’t buy that vacation/timeshare package/Mary Kay foundation/Pampered Chef ice cream scooper, what will they tell their spouse that night? They will not like you and any self esteem issues they have will be YOUR FAULT! You wouldn’t want the toothless lady at the gas station asking for gas money to think that you think that they are scamming you. Again, rude! Give them the stinking money and watch her drive out of the gas station WITHOUT BUYING GAS!!! She might not like you if you say no! She WILL NOT get to her imaginary friend’s house in the imaginary Sacramento if you don’t give her YOUR money!
So why say NO when it feels so good to say YES?? Sure, it will cost you money, time you don’t have and your pride but, hey, you made someone happy and you won’t have the shame and guilt of wondering, will they still like me??
PS-Even though it was our government that went to war in Iraq-it is your fault because you said no to donating a dollar to the Primary Children’s hospital that one time. Think about it.
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8 comments:
Your following is growing...you people pleaser, you :D
Oh my gosh! I am such a people pleaser. I frequently use it as an ice breaker.."Hi, my name is Lori, I am a Libra which makes me an indecisive people pleaser". I plan elaborate birthday parties for my friends and don't say a word when they ignore mine because I wouldnt want them to feel bad. I bring treats to every work meeting and out coworkers whenever they need. (even though they dont answer when I call). I always think in my head "This is what Jesus would do, right?"
I would love to come to any kind of support group you have going. I could even bring treats. What kind does everyone like?
I like brownies but whatever everyone else wants. I really have no opinion...what do you want?
Yep..here I am! I am the BIGGEST (and I mean litterly lol) BIGGEST People pleaser! I can NEVER say NO...Ive been learning to use the economy as an excuse though..it works every time! I havent yet used that excuse for church or PTA Purposes however I might try and see how it works out....Lets see it might go a little something like this....
Oh you want me to take dinner to So and So....Well I suppose I could, however with economy being the way it is, I would need you to give me a ride to the Bishops storehouse so I could get some supplies, Oh but he way, We all have swine flu, can someone bring us dinner too, or maybe, whoever is going to bring us dinner can just take it to the family your saying needs it, and we will just eat Ramen noodles...again...
I bet they would steer clear from asking again...
I'm right there with ya girl ... I know our current recession can be directly linked to my irresposible spending ... when I paid off my credit cards and refused to charge anymore surely it was my fault. And anyone ... ANYONE ends up on prozac, it was most assuredly my fault for not offering the right council or friendship. I am sure that if I say no to anything I will knock the world off of it's access!
"I bring treats to every work meeting and out coworkers whenever they need."
In rereading my previous comment I realized I left out the word "HELP" which makes a BIG difference in this comment. Yes, I make treats and HELP out coworkers..I am not making treats and "OUTING" coworkers..good heavens. Can you imagine? Hey, have a brownie and did you hear that Yolanda is gay?
I am so guilty of this. It totally bothers me when someone doesn't like me. I hate that I always say "YES" to helping everyone else out. I make THEIR problems MY problem. Dumb. Dumb. Dumb.
I am getting better about saying no though. The discomfort that comes with saying "I'm sorry, I can't" only lasts a few minutes while the discomfort, frustration and anger at myself for saying "Yes" when I wanted to say "No" can last for days!
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