Friday Confessions

It’s time for a mid-afternoon confessional with:

I confess:

• It’s my Spring Break this week
• I am so tired
• I wish I could say it was because of all the big parties this week
• Nope, I’ve spent a lot of time at the kid’s school
• Taking care of a sick husband
• Making a Leprechaun Trap (Ok, the hubs did it but I worried plenty about it!!)
• And eating enough food to feed a small country
• I had big plans for this week
• I’m talking road trip
• But here I am, sitting at my computer, eating Mini Cadbury Eggs
• I should be on a beach somewhere
• But the closest I will be getting to a road trip is going to Costco
• Oh well
• One year for spring break I went to St. George
• I bought a tank top that said “Just Do Me”
• I am that classy
• If I bought a shirt on a Spring Break trip now, it’d probably say something like, “Watch out, I’m fertile” or “Back off! I’ve had 3 kids-what’s your excuse?!” or “Will Eat For Food”
• Yeah, something classy like that

Confessions-Who am I Edition

Yeah! I can confess with Glamazon! I haven’t in a while so I am happy to be here! click on her button and join in!

I confess:

• I love to read.
• I read between 2-4 books a week, depending on the length.
• I read a book from cover to cover in one day.
• Twice in 2 weeks.
• I know, I need a life, bad!
• I’m very empathetic.
• I have to kinda be careful with the books I read because of it.
• I get so into it that I forget it’s not actually me I’m reading about.
• Here are a few examples:
• I thought I was Rachel from “Friends” for years.
• I was just waiting for my Ross to show up.
• I even got her haircut.
• My brother even told me that the only friends I had were on TV on Thursday nights.
• My response? “Yeah, so?”
• I read these books that take place during the Ice Age and is about cave-people.
• Whenever I read them, I start drinking herbal teas and have an overwhelming craving for mammoth meat.
• I’ve even been known to run around in a loin cloth with a spear.
• The other day I read a book where the main character was about 7 months pregnant at one point. When I went to turn out the light to go to bed, I actually thought I was 7 months pregnant and asked ElRey to help me roll over.
• I once thought I was a vampire and accidently bit ElRey on the neck.
• For a while I thought I was a up and coming Geisha and couldn’t figure out where all my kimonos were.
• I am was madly in love with Mr. Darcy.
• It’s probably a good thing I never got into Harlequin romance novels.
• I’d be wandering around with a semi exposed bosom, calling ElRey ‘Captain Reginald’, saying words like ‘quivering’ and ‘engorged’ in my everyday language.
• Actually, ElRey might like that….but I digress…

Now go visit your local library! Look how happy it makes me:

What I meant to say: Birthday Edition

It’s always fun to play along with Chief so (pinch) click on her awesome butt(on) and come join the fun!

When my newly turned 6 year old said, “I want to have my birthday party at the swimming pool and have all my friends come!” I said, “If we go to the pool you can only invite a few friends. Why don’t we have a party at home and you can invite however many friends you want!”

What I meant to say: Actually, honey, we’ve decided to follow the Jehovah Witness way and we do not celebrate birthdays anymore. We’ll just have a pizza and sit around NOT celebrating your birthday. Won’t that be fun??

When she asked me to make a SpongeBob cake, I said “No problem! I can do that!”

What I meant to say: Listen, we all know how this is gonna go. I’ll lose sleep trying to figure this cake and the party out, I’ll bake a cake, stay up late so I can decorate it while all the kids are out of the way, tip the pan to get the cake out and have the entire middle fall out. At this point, I’ll mostly keep my cool, pull out the rest of the cake and start frosting it to make it look normal. But then the frosting will rip away at the cake, leaving cake crumbs all over in the frosting while I laugh through my tiredly panicked tears. This is where I’ll run out of frosting at 11:30 the night before the party and I know all I need to do is go back to the store and just keep going, but instead I’ll probably collapse on the kitchen floor, sobbing and moaning like an emotionally disturbed child. Your father will then come out in his undies, to witness the glory of the woman he fell in love with, drag that mess into our room and force me to go to bed. He, of course, will then stay home from work the next day (probably knowing all week that his wife got way in over her head with this and he would end up at home saving the day) make another fabulous cake and stay for the party, just to make sure Mommy doesn’t tell scary stories about how when you grow up, your butt gets bigger, life isn’t ever what you expected, by the time you know what you want, you’re usually too old to do it or use it and one day you won’t be able to eat whatever you want and get away with it, then send all the party guest home crying because of what the scary, hormonal, puffy/bloodshot-eyed old lady told them.

It happens every time.

Look what my husband did the next morning (not that any of that really happened, I swear):

He is so amazing, seriously.

Anyway, everyone survived and had a blast! My daughter loved the cake and everything that we did! I hope she felt as special as she really is to us, I mean, look at that face:

How can you NOT try to give her everything she wants?!

Although, I already told her there will be no big friend party next year. I'm not sure I’ll be out of the loony bin by then.

Step 1 Pause. Step 2 Breathe. Step 3 Enjoy.

I found out a few weeks ago that I can graduate from the community college in May so I went and got registered. I was so excited and thought, hey, I’ve gotten this far maybe I can just keep working at it at the university and get my full, grown up degree. You see, while I know what I have accomplished is big, especially while raising three little girls, I still see that it’s ‘just’ an associates degree and what I really want (at least) is my bachelors. Everything else just seems unfinished.

Anyway, in my excitement I called ElRey up asking him which college was easier to get to, thinking that he would be so on board since I’m achieving my goals and moving forward.

Well, he wasn’t so excited, reminding me that I was going to take a break for a while before moving forward and in his reminding, hurt my feel bads. Why wouldn’t he want me to do this? I’m managing okay! What’s the big deal?

I called my mom (let’s face it, a girl still needs her mommy) and as I started venting she stopped me before I could go too far and told me to pull my head out of my proverbial butt. She told me that now is the time to celebrate what I have done and bask in the glory of that accomplishment. What I have done is bigger than I am giving myself credit for and I need to just enjoy it for the moment rather than rushing off to the next part! She also reminded me that was the plan and that while at this moment I may think it’s going fine and what not, I needed to step back and remember what is most important.

I have said numerous times that this doing something for me thing has really thrown me for a loop. Going back to school is all about me. Sure, it could be beneficial to my family in that I could bring in some income with a new shiny job, but it is mostly all about my own personal goals. There is nothing wrong with that, in fact, it’s fantastic! But I have forgotten what my main objective is which is to raise a happy and loving family. Suddenly, the one most important thing in my life has become a burden, something that keeps me from getting my homework done or keeps me from reaching my goals. That is not what I want and I have been trying to balance all of it. Sometimes I do it well but most of the time I fall flat on my face and cry.

I realized after listening to my mom say what I didn’t really give ElRey the chance to say is that they were right. I need to come back and be mom full time. It’s hard to say that but I know the college stuff will happen, it will just be later and that is okay. My husband and my beautiful girls deserve someone who wants to be here! I often listen to friends talk about how much they do as a family and how much they love being together and all I am wanting is to have them go to bed so I can do what I want. Here I am in this fantastic family that ElRey and I have created together and I am not making enough effort to just enjoy them!

So, between me trying to balance my school with my family, keep the house clean and fight off this melancholy that seems to go away for a day or two and then kick me in the gut again, I’ve become a little non existent. Sometimes it’s even hard to go out with friends because I feel guilty for leaving them when I am already gone 3 nights a week just for school.

I don’t know if I’ve gotten any better at home but I’ve played more games with my kids, had a little more patience and my house is sometimes a little cleaner. I’ve never been good at time management so the mere fact that I am even trying to use my time more wisely is a huge step. Even though I haven’t been doing as much in the blogging world lately, I still find a way to idle my time away with a book or TV or a movie but I feel like I am more THERE for my kids.

I know that I haven’t quite gotten there with my husband yet. He is still a bit neglected and I need to work on that. A very classy lady that goes to my church said in our class one day that while our kid’s needs are important, we cannot forget our spouses’. When the kids up and leave later on, all we have is the one we started it all with and I want to be just as in love 20 years from now as I am now. I don’t want our relationship to be forgotten or ignored while raising our kids. I have given ELRey many reasons to be annoyed, angry or even a good excuse to hate me sometimes, but how often am I reminding him who he fell in love with?

I have much to ponder and work on. Keep in mind, I am talking solely of myself and what my family needs right now. I am in no way saying that a mom cannot pursue her dreams. She can and I am, all I am saying is that I have realized there is a need for a break and a chance to love up my family for a while without any distractions.

For now, I will congratulate myself for doing it, getting this far and doing it well. I may even be on the Dean’s List. Yay me! That is something to be proud of!

Oh, and by the way, after May 7th, I would prefer it if you referred to me as “Associate Mindi”. I think I’ve earned it. ;)

Hey, PhD’s get to be called Dr. So why not?!

Where did I leave my dignity?

I don’t always think I’m old but there are times where I realize I am not so young either. I realize the 30s are where life really begins-you’ve mostly let go of the insecurities of the teens and 20s. Usually you’ve accepted who you are as a person and you are in the thick of your career or raising children or both.

The times I feel most ‘past my prime’ (besides the times I yell at people for driving too fast on my street, or the phrase ‘crazy teenagers’ come out of my mouth or the realization that leg warmers are back…um why??) is when I try to go out on the town. I don’t feel it so strongly if I’m hitting the movies or going to dinner at my usual spots, but when I go to out to do something ‘out of the box’, well, that’s a different story.

I found out that my film professor was doing some stand up comedy at a comedy club downtown. My husband couldn’t go so I asked some girlfriends if they would want to go and Amy and I were the only ones that could go so she was going to meet me down at the club. I was going to drive downtown on. my. own. Not only was I heading there alone, at night in the snow, I couldn’t remember the best way to get to the club, so I had to ask my GPS aka my husband the best route there. Now, I used to take great pride in my ability to get myself around, I still do, but when everywhere you go is within a 10 mile radius for the past 9 years, it tends to shake the directional confidence.

It was almost time to go and I wanted to change my shirt into something nicer, plus, it smelled like cooked meat (I know, I am wicked hot!). I grabbed my best sweater, which in my closet that just means it still has it’s shape, it fits me and it’s not covered in a bunch of little nubbins….oh and it doesn’t smell like meat… I throw it on and go to check myself in the mirror and I notice I had spilled something on it. Yup, it was Metamucil from the night before. At this point, most of you would probably remove the sweater, find another fashionable top to wear and go with it (of course most of you probably don’t even know what Metamucil is, so why would you have it on your shirt in the first place?!). Oh, no. Not me. I got a washcloth and rubbed the dickens out of that mess until it looked like there had almost been no stain at all.

I then made my way downtown and attempted to find a quick parking space, which don’t exist, and ended up parking underneath the mall (WiseGuys is right next to Trolley Square Mall, so it makes sense…). The moment I exited my car, I was not only worried about getting mugged, but that I would forget where my car is, but I made my way to club hoping for the best. As I was making my way there, Amy had texted me saying that she was inside and saving seats “Right on the front row, just for you!”

Super. Not only do I sit on the front row in class because I am ‘one of those students’ (yeah, I even ask questions and make comments…sigh..) I am now on the front row of his comedy show, reaffirming the obvious fact that I may be a Teacher’s Pet.

After I wandered the mall in a stupor, being incredibly lost and turned around, I finally found the club, found Amy (who wasn’t right on the front row, phew!), got my virgin Diet Coke and Rum and I was ready for comedy! As long as it wasn’t dirty and didn’t go past my bedtime. I had to hit Walmart before my curfew!

Needless to say, it was a fun night full of laughs and it’s something I want to do again! I haven’t been out like that in years, obviously!

Next time, I’ll be sure to forego the meat perfume and Metamucil accessories.

What I meant to say…down to the wire….

Omigosh! I am actually getting a chance to play this week! I haven’t done this one in a while and I have missed it! You know the drill!

Several times a day I am known to drive down our street. At certain times of the day there is a lovely band of skaters in the middle of that street with their bars and jumps and butthole attitudes. As I drive by them, I give a nice, passive smile while I (im)patiently wait for these smartasses Children of God to move out of my way. Mostly because I do not want my house to be egged. Let me be clear, I have no problem with skateboarding. I am amazed at the skill it takes to use one of those things. What I do have a problem with is the blatant disrespect towards those DRIVING ON THE FREAKING STREET while these buttholes future leaders of our country know you are coming and wait until your bumper is literally touching their butts and then they move just enough so you can then try to maneuver your car around them, because you are the one in their way!

So, what my motherly patient smile is really saying is:

Listen, you little pieces of dung! If you do not show a little more respect for those around you, I will take that skateboard and beat you other the head with it while I holler sweetly to my kids in the car that I will be right back and not to worry, I’m just cleaning up the streets a bit! This is, of course, after a session of serious junk punching. After that, I am calling your mother! Hooligans!

Phew! That may not be much, but I just had to get that off my chest! I seriously need to kick some trash! I realize that the street is probably the best place to skate around here but don’t act like you don’t know there is a car coming towards you as though you own the road! You don’t! My 2,ooo pound car does and my very slippery foot on that brake….totally kidding..kinda…. And this is coming from someone that actually LIKES teenagers (mostly because I think I am one…except when I say hooligans…)!