I think the fog of the plague is finally lifting! The only problem is things started looking clearer just before bedtime so guess who is wide awake? It’s all good though because if I wasn’t you wouldn’t be able to benefit from my wisdom and prose. Okay, okay, it’s really just me talking out of my butt. But your gonna read it and you’re gonna like it…or else..
Maybe the fog hasn’t totally lifted….I cannot be held accountable for what may be written here tonight..
I have something very serious to talk about. That’s right, tips. Now I am an expert on tips like-no you should not be wearing that thong with those super low rise jeans that are 2 sizes too small and a belly shirt, or 15 ways to scar your children for life in 5 minutes flat, or never watch a movie that has zombie clowns in it just before bedtime.
The tip I struggle with is the one you leave for your server, hairdresser, bell boy or bookie. The one for the server seems to me to be a no brainer- 20% or better of your final bill. I don’t ever want a good server walking away thinking I was the cheapest skank on earth. Course you can already catch on to that by viewing my ill fitting pants (but no visible thong, thank you), my nasty flip flops and complete lack of accessories but I don’t want to prove it to her in my tip.
But it doesn’t just end there. I like to get take out for 2 reasons 1-I like to pig out in the privacy of my own home without patrons gawking at me like I’m the bearded lady at the fair while I gnaw on that rib bone like a ravenous caveman(you so want to date me, huh! I know, ElRey is one lucky guy.) and 2- I don’t want to leave a tip. But then they trick you by trying to bring your food out to your car or being super nice and even having audacity to put the dread ‘tip’ line on the receipt! So then I look like a jackass for putting a line through it and the total for the food below it. They did not bring food to my table, refill my drinks or clean up after me. They put my food in a bag that I drove there to pick up, refilled my own drink and cleaned up my own mess. So do I really need to leave them a tip? Do you guys think I’m a cheap jackass yet?
I love that now fast food restaurants are getting in on the fun now with these cups hanging out the drive thru window with a giant TIPS written across it. I have worked in the fast food industry and it sucked royally and anyone who lasts 6 months deserves a medal but I would never expect a tip I was already being paid to make their food and call their number when it was ready. Heck, I’d even offer them ketchup of fry sauce without expecting a nickel in return! So why are we suddenly having to tip these guys?
Then we have the hairdresser. This is a difficult job involving trying to get your client to look just like that picture of Rachel from Friends without them blaming you when they realize no matter how they cut their hair they will never look like her. It’s such a personal job and they deserve extra credit for a job well done. But I never know how to gauge the size of the tip by my happiness in my new ‘do. It seems that the 15/20% doesn’t apply in this profession but I just dropped $60 (that I usually can’t afford and don’t do often) for her good work. I never feel like I tip enough and always walk away hoping she knows how much I appreciate her work.
And besides I am in the hardest job on earth and never once have I been tipped for making food, cleaning up food, wiping butts and doing their laundry. The closest I have come to a tip is a kick in the crotch, vomit down my shirt or a nicely screamed, “I HATE YOU!!!” Which is why I have no problem using their Tooth Fairy or birthday money on drink runs. Just kidding. Kind of.
So to all you service workers that deserve a tip, remember that even if you don’t get the tip you expected or feel you’ve earned just know it may not always be because your customer/client is a jerk and/or cheap. It may be that it’s all they can afford to give or they may not know the rules. Just know your hard work is appreciated. I mean, my kids show how much they appreciate me by telling me I’m the worst mom in the world or crapping on my floor so what I’m saying is, it could be worse.
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6 comments:
Tipping has gotten out of control! My husband and I went to a buffet on Saturday, and literally only saw the "waitress" once, when she greeted us. We didn't leave a tip, but then I felt bad. But she didn't even do anything!!
Amen sister! I just love the spit up on my shirt as we head out the door tip.
I always feel like the amount my hairdresser charges should be enough and that the tip is certainly in there somewhere but then I feel cheap not giving her something extra. I don't frequent fast food joints but if we ever did you better believe I would NOT be tipping them!
when my hubby told me he tipped the people that handed him his takeout food i was like "wha??? don't tip them!!" he thought i was a cheap meanie, but then a few days later i read a magazine article on tipping that agreed with me--you don't need to tip those guys! and i was a little confused on the whole haircut tip thing as well. i used to think it was 20% but then i was like tipping $10-20!!! so i knew that couldn't be right (especially when, like everyone else, i couldn't afford that much for a cut/color in the first place). once again, a magazine article saved me and now i tip like $3 standard (sometimes more if it was a super awesome/time consuming job). anyways, those are my 2 cents :)
You need to print this and hand it to your server/hairdresser/whatever next time you can't or won't tip. Or how 'bout this tip: never walk alone in a dark alley. See. You may have saved someone's life with that tip!
Tip jars at fast food places are you serious? Yeah no need to tip there. Yes they work hard and their job sucks, but no tip. I go through the same to tip or not to tip when I go to Sonic. If I didn't like it so much I may not go because of that question (and no I don't normally tip)
I am always having the tip quandary! If it was up to me, I would tip NO ONE! I'm always wondering if the carpet cleaners should get a tip? The furniture delivery guys? The people who take your plate at places like Sweet Tomatoes or Cicis?
I refuse to tip the Jamba Juice people. I'm paying $7 for a glorified smoothie I could most certainly make at home. No tip for you!
But when we were young and poor and knew we couldn't leave much of a tip- as we could barely afford our date night at IHOP, I would leave as much as we could and write a little I'm sorry, we're students! note on the receipt.
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