Aw, clowns. They are so happy, silly and endowed with feet.
But, I hate clowns.
In fact, I am pretty sure that Satan was actually dressed as a clown when he was busy beguiling Eve. He was dancing around, offering her knowledge like candy and fresh produce all to make her wise, all while making balloon animals. I wonder if it was hard to take him seriously. Adam didn’t take it for a second but Eve, apparently loved a good laugh. And a pink latex poodle. And apples.
When God said, “thou art cursed above all cattle, and above every beast of the field; upon thy belly shalt thou go, and dust shalt thou eat all the days of thy life” what he really meant was, “you will drive in a ridiculously small car so full of clowns it will drag it’s belly on the ground”.
It’s true. I know it.
My hatred for clowns started at an early age. In kindergarten the powers that be thought it a great idea to have a clown come for some entertainment. The moment that crazy thing walked in the gym, my fear and dislike of them was born. I had to be removed from the premises while kicking and screaming.
Then my dad took me and my brothers to see Poltergeist (after I begged and begged to go with them). Now, not only are clowns big mouthed, big footed, and just weird, they now try to strangle you during a thunder storm! Even if they are just a doll! I don’t think I need to even go on with what Stephen King did with clowns. If he’s involved, it certainly isn’t rainbows and butterflies!
Abominations!
My good friend from my old work married a clown! When he first told me she was a clown, my palms started sweating, I wet my pants and stuttered the rest of day. Luckily, I never saw her in her work attire or I could never look her in the eye without crying, “Find a happy place, find a happy place!” while rocking back and forth and sucking my thumb. Plus, she can ride a unicycle. That’s just wicked cool. And in spite of her career goals, she’s freakin awesome!
As long as she doesn’t pull out the red nose and start making balloon animals. If that happens I will gladly run the other way while screaming.


9 comments:
We took our son to the circus when he was around 4 years old and he screamed so loud that they asked us to leave. I just couldn't convince him that the clowns were not the spawn of satan. He will feel good to know he isn't alone!
I don't know anyone in real life that is a clown, I am jealous ;)
I am with you. As you know Savannah is in her Junie B Jones obsession, and I love how she keeps saying, "Yeah, but clowns aren't NORMAL." So true. I'm not a fan. But I'm telling you right now, if one of your brothers shows up on my porch with a chicken, you can expect a visit from a few freaky looking clowns. But not at the door, maybe hiding in the shower or something. That's right, I'm diabolical. :)
So, I'm guessing that trip I had planned for us to the circus is out of the question...
We could still go! Just dope me up and blindfold me! It'll be fun! Nightmarishly fun! hahaha
I was never afraid of clowns ... until...I took a class at the U called "clown College" it was a theater credit ...We were in full costume the day of our final and we had to perform our "act" ... well, all was well on the theater front until after class. I was in a darkened hallway in a very old building (there are alot of very old buildings on campus) and I was confronted by a very creepy guy from the class who kept asking me out and apparently was offended by my "no, thank you, I have a boyfriend." answer (Yes it's true, I have had boyfriends in my pathetic past ... this one is gay now! I either turn them that way ...or dating me is the last step before "coming out".) anyway, he didn't like my answer and well, I won't post what happened (ask me later) but needless to say ... the creepy movie clown from Polterguist is real ... He attended the U of U!!! NOW I AM AFRAID OF ANYTHING IN COSTUME WITH FULL MAKE UP!I do indeed agree that Satan was dressed as a clown in the garden of eden ...Eve is a braver woman than I!
What is it about clowns? I don't like them either. But then, I did make the mistake of watching "It" when I was 5. It ruined me too...
Clowns are awesome! Hahaha. I don't really like them either. My sister Jen once dressed up as a clown for our little brothers birthday party and she scared those poor kids to death. They were all crying and she ran upstairs crying. Good times!
What about the lovely song, "Send in the clowns" is that evil also?
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