* When women have babies we get rewarded for doing our part to "multiply and replenish the earth" with smaller waistlines and perkier boobs and nice trim hips(definitely NO stretch marks!!!). If we are REALLY obedient we end up with a nice Double D rack and a 20 inch waistline! Little top heavy but we would look AWESOME, right?!?!?
* Vending machines in the foyer at Church!!!! All the proceeds would go to fast offerings and/or missionary fund!! That would make for some very animated Gospel Doctrine and RS/Priesthood lessons wouldn't you think?!?! It would also have things like Valium and ether laced snacks for the primary kids....I really think I am on to something here!!!!
* There should be a kiosk by the bishop's office where you either type in your member number or slide your temple recommend like a credit card and it gives you a print off of your afterlife standing. For example: "You are of Celestial Material". It could even list the sins or vices you needed to work on and maybe list some people you would be most comfortable with in the after life so here's another example:
You are of Celestial Material
What you need to work on:
~Make bread more often
~Instead of just being on time to church, be 10 minutes early
~Smile all the time, not just most the time
You would be most comfortable with:
~Pres. Gordon B. Hinckley
~Joseph Smith
~Mother Teresa
~Enoch
Mine would probably be more like:
You are of Telestial Material
What you need to work on:
(this list would go on for pages so I won't bore you!!)
You would be most comfortable with:
~Chris Farley
~Elvis Presley
~Laman
~Jezebel
So, there you have it! If I have anymore genius ideas I will gladly pass them on! If any of you know some 'higher-ups' tell them to check this out!! These ideas can't be wasted!!!
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8 comments:
This is my favorite post EVER! TAMN's got nothing on you, girl :) I tell you what, you will officially be the funniest person in the celestial kingdom or otherwise!! I would love to do a road show with you by the way. I think you could pull off a one woman show pretty easily! All I can say is how did I not know you better when we lived by each other???
Email me if you want (my address is on my profile)
I agree...you are seriously the most hillarious person ever!!! Im still laughing...I really, really think your on to something with the Kiosk by the bishops office! lol Seriously funny stuff!!
oh my holy! that's all i can say LOL
you make me laugh! I love the kiosk idea ....
I love the Diet Coke...Oh, I mean...vending machine thing. Take it up with good ole' Bishop Baggley and see if he's in! If you start this trend Mindi, you will be my vending machine hero! I love your great ideas! So, with that being said, how would my temple recommend rate me? (Wait, do I, no, oh...yes, I do have a temple recommend...and I'm prepared to use it!!!)
Don't you already have vending machines in the foyer?? Out here in the "mission field" we do...are we not supposed to? Maybe someone should shoot a letter there to "Zion" to find out if we're doing it wrong!! You're awesome.
Mindi you are awesome!
Great ideas- My doctor said I could consider my stretch marks as battle scars. Nice. Maybe I should show them off-- on second thought- I better not, I might make people ill.
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