Long Live The Queen

I have two thrones in my life. A Queen needs a good place to sit, you know? My first one is a recent one. My baby office chair. Okay, so it’s not so much a baby.

It’s ginormous! It is the center, left , right, front -piece of my kitchen/office. I could and would take a nap in it if everyone would just shut their pie-holes for two seconds!  I even sit in it for dinnertime. I am the Queen of my castle in that sweet leathery goodness. I can wheel around in it to get a drink, grab something out of the oven or maybe, just maybe do the dishes. It’s that good. I may never have to get up again.

My other throne has been with me for much longer. No matter where I live it is with me.

Of course, it has it’s all important responsibility that I won’t go into but it also has it’s perks and advantages beyond that. I may not even need it for it’s primary function but I say “I need to use the bathroom” and I can be in there all by myself and ponder life’s biggest questions or catch up on my Prevention magazine or that all important celebrity gossip.

I especially used this technique on my mission. It’s the only time you don’t have to be with your companion and I took full advantage of that. One home I lived in, the lady hosting us was way into Young Women’s and in our bathroom, right at eye level when you sat on the toilet, was the Young Women’s theme. Let’s just say I had that thing memorized again after a week of living there.

It has also come in handy here in my realm of motherhood. Sure, the Queen’s subjects may be sticking their fingers under the door saying “Mom, mom, mom, mom” or they may come in wanting to sit on my lap. They may even come in demanding milk and crackers while the King is sitting on the couch. Sometimes they come in needing my assistance in solving their serious disputes (“she took my place”, “she hit me”, “it’s not fair she gets to play with a friend/had an ice cream/was born first”, you know, the really important issues of today!). But in spite of all that, it is still the place I go for solace and although I may not always get to fully leave the war council of motherhood, you can’t really blame me for trying.

Maybe I should try locking the door.

Is there somewhere you like to hide? Or do you have a comfort spot in your home?

Did I ever tell you….

I like sandwiches. But who doesn’t? I mean they are the perfect, balanced, hold in your hand yumminess ever!

I brush my teeth with hot water! Sometimes I forget not everyone does this and I will get my kids toothbrush ready and they yell out, “Ouch, that’s hot, mom!”

I once listened to a book on tape read by Michael Beck-you know, the ‘hottie’ in Xanadu? I don’t really know why he was chosen for the job but I don’t even remember the book. I only remember it was read by the dude in short shorts roller-skating to ELO music in one of the best movies EVER!!

I often worry about how many spiders I eat in my sleep and if a bug has laid eggs in my orifices.

I want Jim Dale to read me a story every night before bed time. I really think the Church should get him to read the scriptures on CD. Not only would sales of those go up but people would actually listen to them AND he may even do different voices for each character! I am pretty sure Nephi has an English accent. Then when he was done reading I would have him try to say Passamaquaddy for old times sake. That would be fun.

When I was a kid I would sleep in the clothes I was going to wear the next day, over my covers, so I wouldn’t have to get dressed in the morning or make my bed. Yes, I am that lazy.

In kindergarten, Chris White had a crush on me. He would chase me all over the playground and I loved it. One day I went a little overboard in my foreplay and pushed him. He fell flat on his butt! He didn’t talk to me after that. Our love was over. Rejection is a bitter pill to swallow.

Raindrops

Here is a video of our afternoon in the rain that ElRey put together. It's mostly Lily but you just can't help but film her! Enjoy!

People Pleasers Unite!

{Sorry about the last post! I didn’t mean it as a pity party, I was just trying to whine creatively. All is well, that dude just won’t leave!!}

That’s right, I am talking to you! You know who you are! If a solicitor calls or comes to your door you let them finish their spiel even though you know you will not be buying. Or maybe you do. Because they have a crappy job and you feel bad for them and want to help them out. Maybe they really DO need to sell 3,000 magazine subscriptions before they can go to college. You don’t want to be the one to hold them back, do you?

Or it could be your Relief Society President (aka compassionate service leader) or your Elder’s quorum president calling for a meal or to take over nursery. Ignore the fact that you have pneumonia and 3 sick kids-you better get the meal done and over ON TIME or get over to the church for nursery in spite of your 80 hour work week and 20 hour church calling! If you say no they may have to call someone else and what’s worse-they won’t like you anymore!

Say you visit a foreign country and while you are waiting for a ride to your hotel a man claiming to be a taxi driver offers you a ride but only for $100. Don't try to take your luggage out of the trunk-that may hurt the possible serial killer’s heart! That. Is. Rude. Instead go for the ride and hope for the best, maybe get the police on your cell phone just in case.

The point is, fellow people pleasers, if you don’t buy that vacation/timeshare package/Mary Kay foundation/Pampered Chef ice cream scooper, what will they tell their spouse that night? They will not like you and any self esteem issues they have will be YOUR FAULT! You wouldn’t want the toothless lady at the gas station asking for gas money to think that you think that they are scamming you. Again, rude! Give them the stinking money and watch her drive out of the gas station WITHOUT BUYING GAS!!! She might not like you if you say no! She WILL NOT get to her imaginary friend’s house in the imaginary Sacramento if you don’t give her YOUR money!

So why say NO when it feels so good to say YES?? Sure, it will cost you money, time you don’t have and your pride but, hey, you made someone happy and you won’t have the shame and guilt of wondering, will they still like me??

PS-Even though it was our government that went to war in Iraq-it is your fault because you said no to donating a dollar to the Primary Children’s hospital that one time. Think about it.

My Buddy and Me

Exhaustion has been my friend of late. And by ‘friend’ I mean stalker. He won’t leave me alone. He’s riding on my back when I run, he’s there, staring at me when I wake and he sits on my face around 3pm. Just so I won’t forget he is there. I even find him when I look in the mirror as he dangles from my eyelids.

There are many possible reasons for my friend over staying his welcome. It could be staying up too late or working out before the sun comes up. Maybe it’s my co-dependent need for sugar and Diet Coke. I’ve often thought it may be just the mere thinking of all the things I need to do that brings my buddy to town.

Could it be just that I am so old (32gasp!) and a mother of three busy girls? The morning is often a wrestling match of hair brushing, diaper changing, bath giving and breakfast sprints. This morning I got so tired of wrestling with Lily to get her skirt back on after a diaper change that she is still without the skirt.

Annie has been struggling with staying in her bed at night and waking us up in the middle of the night. As we were eating dinner the other night I asked her how we can help her stay in bed at night. The ideas I got were: 1) Put chicken wire around her bed so she can’t get out, and 2) Glue her door shut every night and use a wet wipe in the morning to clean it off. I’m telling you, those ideas are tempting!

Since I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism, I often wonder if it is my own chemical makeup, which would be nice to know it’s not all my fault. I wish our bodies were equipped with Doppler Radar or Traffic Link of sorts. It would report the problems or accidents going on in our system so we can fix it, send in a crew and get things moving again. Maybe get prepared with sandbags and move our liver or kidneys to higher ground before the storm hits.

Am I making any sense? Probably not. I am really tired.

The point is…what is my point…..I guess I am just longing for the energy pills someone gives my kids at 6 in the morning that keeps them going till I force them to bed at 8pm. I am longing for the days of energy and desire to get off the couch let alone do something that requires any thought or movement on my part. Can I use coffee for medicinal purposes? How about speed or good old fashion meth? Maybe then I will get something done besides watching reruns of “Scrubs”, going on 2 drink runs and writing a silly blog post no one will remember tomorrow.

Did I mention my ‘friend’ Exhaustion came to town today??

Maybe it would perk me up if you, say, click to follow my blog?? That would be like a shot of Redbull!! :)

My First Born

Audrey was assigned a talk in primary yesterday. She was so excited! She begged me all week to work on her talk. When I finally wrote it out she immediately printed it off and put it in her 3-ring binder which she carried around with her everywhere she went on Saturday.

As I sat and listened to her in primary I was overwhelmed with how beautiful and smart she is! She didn’t need me to help her with any of it and she even did her own little ad lib at the end about her cousin who was baptized. That girl shines! She smiles and the room lights up!

In her short little school career she has received  2 “Principal Pride Awards” which is something they do each Friday and usually one student from each class is honored for their stellar work in class. One for handwriting and one for a very cute story about a mouse and a princess.

She is a joy to be with and tries to always make good choices. She is so easy going and just loves to have fun. I can’t believe my little baby will be baptized this year. I just sit back and watch as this little girl inches closer to being a young woman and I am so proud to call her mine.

I love you, my Audrey! You are one of the greatest gifts God has given me! Thanks for making me smile and laugh! You really do light up my life!