You know how when you are are done using something whether it’s because you no longer need it, you got something better or you’re just looking to dejunk your immediate thought is to sell it, right? You may do a yard sale, mention it on Facebook or go through eBay or Craigslist.
Well, I have something I am done with. It’s in kinda good condition, it’s only a little dusty and battered and used up only slightly used. I haven’t had any problems with it and it’s done it’s job but I no longer have a use for it and it’s just taking up space.
That’s right. It’s my uterus.
I wanted to put it on eBay but I can’t seem to get the right sales pitch going for it. “Slightly worn, saggy and dusty old uterus for sale” Just doesn’t seem to cut it.
So I need your help in coming up with a pitch that will get me the most cash. I mean, if these people can sell this stuff, I can certainly sell a gently used uterus, right??
So here’s some sales pitch ideas. Let me know what you think:
- “100% natural and organic and one of a kind handbag”
- “Gently used fetus carrier”
- “Guaranteed to be a girl baby maker”
- “Prolapsed uterus? Try mine for only 3 minimal payments of $499.99 + shipping &handling!”
- “Womb for rent”
- “Buy this uterus and we’ll send you the appendix for free!!"
I can already see the bids skyrocketing! If you guys have any ideas, please share. I want my saggy baby bag to go to a happy home..and to the highest bidder, of course.
And speaking of lady parts, I think Betty White says it best:
**This post in no way means I condone black market organ selling.
***I worked really hard to not say the v-word this whole post. I can’t help it if Betty White says it.
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9 comments:
Is this thing on??
Hahahaha! This is great!
Single Owner, well loved, and slightly used.
We can't say that the owner was an 80 year old grandmother that hardly took it out of the garage. :)
Hahahahaha!!! Love it!
That first one- the handbag one is by far my favorite and I think would get the most hits. Too funny!
Just so ya know after one child it ages quite dramatically. I was told after having Natali by the nurse doing my 6 week check up that mine was 80 years old, so that would make it now what...320-400 years old...making yours about 240 - 320 years old...so I guess unless they like antiques you might find it hard to sell. Then again...maybe I should follow your lead...LOL!
I see no need for mine any more, either. I'll sell it. :)
I wish Betty White was my grandma.
http://www.glamkittenslitterbox.com/
Twitter: @GlamKitten88
ok, I'll raise you your slightly used and sell mine for more!
"LIKE NEW ...
NEVER BEEN USED ....
WOMB!"
HAHAHAHAHAHA!
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