I while back I told you all how I have a real skill of putting my foot in my mouth. For those you didn’t read it or want to enjoy my shame again, click here.
Well, I did it again last night. It was so bad I had to eat a chocolate donut to get the foot taste out of my mouth. But I’m not going to tell you what I did because it’s too fresh. Instead, I’ll throw those I love under the bus today because that’s what a blog is for.
One of my favorite moments with my husband was last summer. I had taken my girls swimming and while there these two women came with their kids. What I couldn’t help notice was that these women were both bigger girls-similar to my own physique. There I was in my mommy tankini-as covered as possible with skirt and all and they showed up in these little bikinis. Now, I don’t care what you wear, if you feel comfortable in it, good for you. I do think some people look better in certain things than others. Bikinis are one of those things. So I kept watching these women marveling that they felt so comfortable in such tiny swimsuits with ample flesh showing.
When I got home that afternoon, I was telling ElRey about it. It went something like this:
Me: It sometimes amazes me how many women that are my size or bigger wear bikinis and feel comfortable in them..
ElRey: I KNOW!! IT’S SO DIGUSTING!!!! I can’t believe…..(pausing at my gapping mouth) Omigosh!! I didn’t mean that! I just meant…ummmm…crap…uuhh
Me: Remind me to burn all of my lingerie later….and always remain fully clothed….
Note that I didn’t say anything about going on a diet, that’s just silliness!
For the record, my feelings weren’t hurt(too much) and we laugh(cry) about this moment regularly…poor stupid guy…hehe
The other unfortunate soul for this post is my awesome mother. My sweet, always kind, loving and loved mother.
She was invited to a baby shower (possibly for the last time). While there she asked the happy couple what they will be naming their baby. It went something like this:
Mom: Do you have a name picked out for the baby?
Parents: Yes. Tungsten.
Mom: BWWAAHAHAHA That’s a nice name!! *wipes tear* That kid would be beat up in school! *snort*Awwhhh man….Really…what are you going to name him?
Parents: Uummmm..Tungsten…
Mom: Oh…wow…that’s great, really…sorry..
Parents: It’s okay…that’s how my mom reacted to it, too.
Yes, I am in good company.
Posts
7 comments:
My foot is in my mouth so often I have athletes mouth!! I think you are hilarious!!!!
This post is super funny! Your poor hubby. Men are wonderful at vomiting their true feelings and then trying to backtrack. Don't you just love that deer in head lights expression when they realize?
what a crazy name for a child. Awful! Your mother has nothing to be embarrassed about.
I was so tired of tasting my awful feet that, I believe, is why I am such a quiet person, I'm too scared to talk to people, especially while in a group.
Ha ha ha..thank you for making me laugh today
*I often wear a bikini to the public pool! I find the shocked looks on the faces of those witnessing the braizen boldness of my desire to publicly display my marshmellow-like body type! And while the term marshmellow makes me seem fluffy and sweet, we all know the ugly truth!
*I am humored by your husband!Deep down he is a kind, gentle little boy!
*I am also humoredby your mom! Apparently the foot in mouth disease is common!
Still funny when not pregnant. I worship you.
Tungsten? Really? TUNGSTEN?! That's an orange colored light. My word, it's like they detest their own flesh and blood. I hope your Mom's reaction made them change their mind.
And the bikini thing? I say, if you've got it, flaunt it, baby.
Post a Comment