I don’t want to shock you but,
I am awkward.
After all these years, I am still the larger than everyone around me little 14 year old who that EFY t-shirts with 6 inches cut off the bottom were hot. Never comfortable in my own skin. I was a late bloomer and by the time I realized the power I had in my *huge* B-cup, I was married and it was too late to wield my superpowers on all the innocent males. And now it’s too late, they being less than what they once were. But, they still work on my man, who is out buying me some chocolate chip cookies as we speak/write. ~wink~
I did hit my stride there for a while just before my mission and right after (the mish didn’t count, it was full of jumpers, antidepressants and sudsy shoes. Oh, and a big bum). I was actually comfortable in my own skin, confidant regardless of what I wore or whom I was with. I was alright with me.
So how does one lose that confidence in a relatively short period of time? How does this:
Be reduced to this:
Where did that other girl go? I have lost her. Okay, I never really had that body but still. I felt good about myself. It doesn’t help that I have the prettiest friends. I really do. I am the token “sweet spirit” in her stupid orange sweatshirt she apparently got on the trade-in of the EFY t-shirts. I’m the one who takes it too far, who asks the stupid questions and probably the only one that farts.
Oh well. That is what I am known for, no, not for my keen fashion sense, but my blatant awkwardness. And that’s alright, I’ll take it, at least I’m known, right? At my funeral they’ll say, “she was really awkward..what was up with that orange sweatshirt? I hope she doesn’t bring it to the Resurrection. She did have really nice hair, though.”
Now that would be a tender eulogy, probably given by my husband.
*Sorry for the soft porn, just trying to prove a point! And it really isn’t my body, nor will it ever be. It is my cherubly chubby face, though. Please, don’t mock the orange sweatshirt, it’s all I got in my sad, awkward world……
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7 comments:
HaHa! I am sitting here trying desperately to catch up on blogs and my husband walks by and sees the picture and stops in his tracks "WHAT THE HELL IS THAT BLOG?!!" All the sudden he's interested? ass
I am proud that you ever looked like that
Personally, I think your Al Bundy shot is way sexier than the other. Because it's you! It's totally the Mindi that we know and love. If you had the other bod, you wouldn't know how to look people in the eye to talk to them, because no one would be looking you in the eyes to talk to you! ;) You're so not awkward. You're so Mindi. And that's who we all are madly in love with!!!
I love the before and after Al Bundy shots.
If you bring your orange sweatshirt, at least no one will be judgmental, and everyone will be accepted, even if you return in your "prime" wearing one of the EFY t-shirts.
I wonder what Al Bundy will be wearing?
If by 'awkward' you mean witty, hysterical, life of the party, the one who makes things fun, then, yes, that is what you will be remembered for. And I think your real problem is that you have made poor choices: You just need some ugly, fat friends. I'll take care of the fat, now just go and find some uglies, will ya?
I wish I could wear orange-it just washes me out. I think everyone who meets you wishes they could be as funny/witty as Mindi. And yes, you do have great hair.
PS-Who does look like that girl? And who poses like that? I'll bet she has sand in her crack.
You did good work in photoshop the picture totally looks real :)
And I fart too... lately a lot! What have I been eating??
What do you mean you never had a body like that. That is you in that picture, right!! You can't trick me, you are just being humble. @#$#@ you! I have NEVER had a flat stomach, even at 14!!
We all just wish we could write & fart like you! I thought the orange sweatshirt was a parting gift from your crossing guard days! I just thought you wore it so much because you missed your fav job! Is that picture your gift to the sea? Ditto what Melissa said...
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